Off Topic My bf is disrespectfull about my gymnastic passion

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Hello my name is Isabelle. I am sorry for that terrible english but as you did guess it’s not my native language…


So Im a beautician and a gymnastic coach, my bf is a military and a bit macho.All is great but with the job and daily things to do I struggle to get some time with him To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together. What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa or a dance sport (im an ex ballerina) but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport… So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me taekwondo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let’s try it…

Finally, after a dozen lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the “fight part” in the end of the lesson. Last week, my partner was not there and so I had to go with my bf fir the spar session in the end.

Before we start, he tease me "if I dare" and he'll show me "who's the boss, it's not like dancing..."... im used to his childish tease even if it annoy me

So we start. I notice he kick hard. Even if it slow and Im able to block almost all of it he seems to kick voluntary hard. I asked him to reduce the power twice... But he continu... I dont know who was the more surprised but I was clearly dominating the fight 9 to 2. I caught him with a kick in the stomach and I had to wait him to get his breath back. I did tease him back "so what do u think about gymnastic now? Where is the tough soldier?" it didnt make him laugh...

Sunddely he send me a kick right on the bra. Even if i did block it it hurt so badly. I ve seen he laugh and it has get me really mad I confess. I send my leg as high and speed and strong as I could. He ddin't see it coming and my foot land right on his face! He fall on his back totally KO !!!
Im in panic. I slap him to wake him up and the coach came.. he finally wake up after maybe 10 very very long seconds... I help him to reach the bench I told him <i ll drive him to the emergency but he refuse I insist but he refuse.
Obviously I did apologize for what i ve done even if it was also his responsability to stop kick hard... He answer me nothing. He change the subject. He almost not speaking anymore. I struggle having monologue and hearing yes, no...as simple answer... He seems mad but cant tell me. I asked him if it s because I beat him in taekwondo and he started to be agressive pretending it s not and anyway he wont come again in the club...He is so cold now...

Honestly, im very disappointed and I think I just hurt him..

How can I fix that??
 
Your message is not gymnastics related, but honesly, you should dump him. He sounds like a terrible boyfriend: he hit you hard on purpose, he laughed at you being hurt and he can't process the fact that you might be better than he is at some sports. Just compare both your reactions: when he hit you on the chest, he laughted; when you hit him on the head, you felt terrible.
He does not deserve you, you should just leave him.
 
Are we on reddit?

NTA - You gave him a taste of his own medicine and he didn't like it. Additionally if your Taekwondo gym is letting relative newbies hard spar that is a terrible gym as their is no way you would be able to measure your punches and kicks nor be able to properly protect yourself after 12 lessons.

To bring this back to gymnastics it would be like after a dozen rec classes having kids do cartwheels on the high beam without a spot. "You sort of get it, now go do something where you could put yourself into the hospital"
 
I'm.... not sure what to do with this thread.

This is not a question about gymnastics, it is a question about navigating domestic abuse, and as such is WAY above this forum's paygrade. This is something to be addressed by experts and a trustworthy support structure and local authorities, not by random strangers on the internet.

Gonna lock the thread for now.
 
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Based on the behavior you describe, I would say that the odds are extremely high that this man will eventually hurt you. Macho men with damaged egos often harm or even kill their wives or girlfriends. He has already harmed you in anger. He’ll almost certainly do it again. I suggest that you end the relationship immediately. Seriously: RUN!
 
Hey @JBS I think we might have a bug here; this thread is supposed to be closed, yet is showing a new post from a non-mod member
 

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