WAG Need a new gym and DD is afraid of bars. what to do?

[Flippin' Gym Mom]

Hi everyone. DD is a level 6 and decided to leave gymnastics after falling on her head while doing a cast to flyaway. After a few weeks of her crying and regretting the decision to leave gymnastics, we are now in the process of finding a new gym. She doesn't want to go back to her old gym because she doesn't feel comfortable with her new optionals coach. He lacks patience and was trying to force her to do flyaways, which she has been too afraid to do since she fell. I think with patience and time, she can overcome this but I need to find a gym that understands that she needs time. Took her to a top notch gym to try out this week. I'm extremely impressed with the gym, the coaches, the whole team program but they are concerned about DD's fear on bars, understandably. They are offering her a chance to repeat Level 5, but she doesn't want to. Last year, she did pretty well scoring between 34.00 - 36.00 AA and she has been working level 6 and 7 skills since the season ended. She feels she can work through the issues and doesn't want to have to compete another whole season of Level 5. How do you convince a new gym to take her on with fear issues?

 

[ZJsMom]

How old is she? Frankly, I might be inclined to follow their advice on repeating level 5. Taking a step back and working within her comfort zone might help her build confidence.

 

[munchkin3]

Unfortunately ability is not the only factor with optional gymnastics. Mental maturity and tenacity and not giving up is perhaps even more important. If she has had a fall, and feels it is the coaches fault, wether it is or isn't, a meeting is in order. You can't allow her to walk away as you would be giving her a message that when the going gets tough, the tough leaves.

Information in your post is limited. You say she fell, is not comfortable with he coach and your DD must leave to find a better gym, and one that understands her. This is a red flag to other gyms. They would not want to take a kid on that has problems and is not willing to repeat a level.....The reality is, if she is having trouble at an event then she must back up on the skills and work back up....this takes time......no gym has a magic solution........you must go with what the Gyms philosophy and style. Gyms do not conform to one kid.....the kid conforms to the gym that is a good fit.

Sorry, not trying to be blunt. I am truly sorry for your DDs problem......I know how hard it has been for mine to work through here issues so I really feel your pain......but they don't pack up and leave....

You need to tell the new gym that a few months of Level 5 would be fine as long as she can uptrain.

 

[MaryA]

She's been out of the gym for a while. She had a fall. She has some fear issues. Repeating 5 may well be the best thing for her long-term. It's certainly not all about the scores, but if you had said that she was scoring above a 36 at every meet I'd say, "Yeah, maybe she's gotten everything she's going to get out of level 5" but doing another year of 5, scoring well, getting on the podium, and uptraining for a year is likely going to help her more than pushing her into the next level would. I know it's hard if she's already thinking of herself as a level 6 and an optional, but the internal and external pressure she's going to feel to get over this fear in time for meet season may just have the opposite effect and make a skill that is already stressing her out even more stressful. Trust me, I've BTDT.

 

[Pea'sMom]

My opinion (after having survived flyaway fears) is repeat. Pea went off the deep end after hitting her feet doing her layout flyaway. Waffled all last fall. Daily tears. Total disaster. I and her coaches put the kibosh on competing 6/7 and took all the pressure to 'perform' off. She trained with the incoming level 5's and got to be the rock star, and, ironically, helped a few get over their fears of letting go of the bar while training the flyaway. She didn't get on the high bar for about 2 months, spent her bar time working free hips. Competed a few meets at level 5 and had fun at the top of the podium. Right after states, she got right up on the bar and did her giants to a layout...Peer wise she is meeting up with the 6's that are training 7, and the 7's that will repeat. It worked out very well for her.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I thought the flyway is required for L5 too? Wouldn't repeating just put pressure to get it back sooner, since compulsory seasons often start before optionals?

 

[Cartwheelmom]

My dd had to repeat l4. At first I was so upset with the couches but she was lacking confidence and had fear issues too. She is in l6 now and I believe that holding her back was the best choice for her. She is stronger (mentally ) because of it.

 

[beachgirl]

My daughter just had that happen too. She was training for L6/7 and thought she was done with L5 after she completed 3 invitationals as a L5. She switched gyms and the new gym didn't have their L4 girls do spring season as L5 like my daughter did, so they put my daughter back in L5 for fall. It's been great my daughter has gained confidence and now comes home every practice saying what a great practice it was and doesn't feel stressed any longer. The new gym is planning for my daughter to start L7 at the same time she would have possibly been doing L6 at the old gym. Maybe the new gym wants your daughter to feel comfortable and ease back into things. Also, there are a lot of gyms that don't let you move up until you have hit at least 37, so a little while longer at L5 could be a big confidence booster.

 

[munchkin3]

I thought the flyway is required for L5 too? Wouldn't repeating just put pressure to get it back sooner, since compulsory seasons often start before optionals?

I think OP said she fell on handstand to layout.....much scarier than swing swing layout.
Optionals is hard, and either they do the skills and meet the deadline, or they don't and repeat a level, or wait.....it's not a big deal......just keep telling her it's not a big deal.....she will get it when she gets it....

 

[Pea'sMom]

I think OP said she fell on handstand to layout.....much scarier than swing swing layout.
Optionals is hard, and either they do the skills and meet the deadline, or they don't and repeat a level, or wait.....it's not a big deal......just keep telling her it's not a big deal.....she will get it when she gets it....

Agree that the level of 'scariness' increases as the size of the swing increases. For Pea tucked was not a problem...layout was a no go...and at the gym layout was the only option for 6.

 

[gymdog]

I would have her sign up and start in level 5. If she wants to be promoted then she can try hard and prove it to the coaches that she can get the skills. If she doesn't, then she will keep working for next year. I would not push her. It sounds like level 5 is the right place. Model confidence in the new gym's process for her. She will follow your lead.

 

[gymdoc]

It's not like she is losing a whole year if she repeats L5 - it is just the fall season, and optionals are in the spring. That gives her time to get her confidence back, work on the cast to handstand/layout/whatever, and be ready in the spring for L6 (or maybe even L7). They may have also noticed some form or basic issues they want to work on - lots of gyms are pretty picky about "their"way.

 

[gymboymom]

I think you hit the jackpot and should go with it. A top notch gym you are impressed with taking on a brand new kid with bars fears. Repeat L5 and don't look back. Let her work through the issue with no pressure for the upcoming season.

 

[duyetanh]

Not to sound harsh, but...you dont.
When it's a new gym, you say thank you for taking my child, and we will do what you feel is best. Again not to sound harsh, but you have no leverage in this situation. I know this sounds harsh and I truly don't mean it to...but it's the truth.

 

[UnoMas]

If you are thoroughly impressed with the gym, coaches, and program, then you should trust them and place her where they recommend. You just never know how long bars fears are going to hang on (I have BTDT with my DD and still doing it...). Competing L5 doesn't mean she can't be working 6/7, if it is a good gym she will be uptraining, and she won't be faced with time pressure to overcome those fears.

 

[Ali'sMom]

I agree with repeating L5. If she overcomes the fear, and continues to train L6/L7, she can theoretically skip L6, and go to L7 next year.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

The level is irrelevant if she quits right? And you want to go to the new gym right? Then do what they say.

 

[kris]

My DD will be repeating 8 this year after some fear issues and a gym switch. Not having the pressure to move to 9 has been great for her! She's also working with Doc Ali weekly at the new gym, and that's been so helpful to her as well. I'm with the others, if you both love the gym, you may have to decide if repeating is worth it.

 

[JoyAvenueMom]

You probably know this, but I think it's worth stating. L5 and L6 are viewed as interchangeable by many gyms. In our state, very few gyms compete L5 at all, most go from 4 to 6. Other gyms require both levels, and some require one or the other depending on the kid. If the option is "repeating L5 or doing L6", there is simply not enough difference to worry about it from a progression point of view. Did she do the upgrades at L5? (Switch leap on floor, back handspring on beam) If not, perhaps she can include them this season. What do her casts look like on bars? Is she close to hitting handstand? Improving her casts and the amplitude of her clear hip are additional things she can do while training L5 that will prepare her for L7 (no different than if she were competing L6). I agree with others, find a gym you like and trust them to do what is best for your dd. Then smile and support them. (And come to Chalkbucket when you don't understand something they are doing and wonder if you should be concerned.)

 

[flippingtogether]

How do you convince a new gym to take her on with fear issues?

I was looking at the OP again - and in the very last line (quoted above) I think that the question is already answered. The new gym will take on the fear issues in a way that they know will work best for your DD / give your DD the best chance of success - by having her rework skills that need to be reworked, and by giving her the confidence to shine in the areas she is feeling super confident. If this is a great gym, and I have no doubt it is, they will uptrain her and get her to the level she needs to get to when she is ready. That is what we need to ask of all our coaches - guide our kids careers in the way that is best for their individual needs.

I am a HUGE fan of L5 and see the value of competing it 2x if necessary (my DD's old gym and new gym both focus on 5 and move the girls to 7 only when ready). As another poster said, with upgrades you can be getting your DD closer and closer to 7 (BHS on beam, layout dismount on bars, switch leap on floor). This situation sounds like a complete win for your DD - and to answer your question, how to convince a new gym to take on your DD with fear issues? Have them tell you the plan and TRUST THEM from day one.
Make sure your DD knows and understands why this is a good (no, great) thing - if needed have the new coaches explain the bigger picture to her - that could certainly help your DD get on board with this too.

Yes, BTDT with fear issues.....trusting a good gym is the way to go. Best of luck to your DD and keep us all posted on how things go!!