Parents Need advice (cheer related)

[DbacksMom75]

So little DD (the 5 year old) dropped on me and DH that she LOVES cheer and has been begging us for the past three days that she wants to do Tiny team next season and could "she puhleezzeee start tumbling classes". She has always wanted to do cheer but we have been avoiding the subject and have been in a little bit of denial since we swore off the sport when big DD quit last year.
DH's opinion is heck no because he is still not over the drama we went through last year. My opinion is if that's what she wants to do we should let her try it. He is softening a little with conditions such as , absolutley no volunteering for comps or team mom, no private tumbling lessons, and no drama (I think I can work with that).
So first question is, do we buckle and let little DD start tumbling after her soccer is over? (Big DD has taken on the role as private cheer coach and has started teaching her jumps, motions, and basing her stunts. Which has gotten her more worked up about doing it "for reals").
Secound issue....there is only one gym in the Valley I trust with my little DD, we have a lot of history and the owners are awesome people, but when we left last year it was a huge fight involving yelling on both sides and a lot of negative comments were made. I have not talked to the owners since. Before we left I asked the owner's wife regarding people who were leaving if they would ever be welcomed back and her response was "We wouldn't be in business if we turned people away for personal issues".
So now I am at the point of having to decide if I should put on my big girl pants and call them? Or should I consider the bridge burned and look elsewhere?
Like I said they are a wonderful couple and run a teriffic program, it's just that the husband has a temper and so do I so when poop hit fan all heck broke loose.
My biggest fear is that they will tell me where to go......(if you know what I mean)

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

I guess you would have to consider the reasons for the huge blowup, when deciding whether to go back. Was it related to coaching? The squad your DD was on? If those are issues that are likely to resurface again (with your little DD), I would avoid the situation. If it was something like he hit your car and dented it....then that would be different

Regarding cheer - I have avoided it like the plague for several years. This yr I finally cracked under big DD's pressure (and some mom-friends too) and allowed both of my girls to do it. I'm still not thrilled with all the drama (and there is quite a bit of it, compared to gymnastics), but my girls LOVE it.

Good luck w/your decisions!

 

[DbacksMom75]

Luckily it was never coaching or team related, more like billing related. But from what I have heard they have fixed that end of their business practices.
When we took DD out it was more disappointment on their side but then some unrelated cheer drama ensued and they mistakenly thought I was involved. That is what caused the big blow up. I actually found out who was involved and got the issue resolved but never talked to them about it since.
Soccer isnt over until end of November so we'll see what happens between now and then.

 

[Aussie_coach]

It depends how you feel they will treat your younger DD. Will they take out past problems on her, if so don't go near it. If not then why not, the worst they can do is say no and then you'll have to look elsewhere anyway.

 

[flippymonkeysmom]

Usually the drama starts with cheer when they are a little bit older - so you should be safe for now. DD2 did cheer for 2 years and I wasn't heartbroken when she didn't want to do it anymore - I think she was on the most drama filled team in the gym. Now that we are back I am trying hard to avoid the drama queens (kids and parents). DD1 had practice last night and no joke in the middle a mom goes out on the floor and starts screaming at her kid that she wasn't doing something right. I told my dd that if I ever got like that she has my full permission to slap some sense into me.

As far as the gym goes - people lose their temper sometimes and we all have some not so perfect moments. If you really believe that gym is the best on for your little dd - I say suck it up

 

[bogwoppit]

DD1 had practice last night and no joke in the middle a mom goes out on the floor and starts screaming at her kid that she wasn't doing something right.

Gobsmacked :yikes::jaw-dropping::wide-eyed:. How desperate for amoney are these cheer clubs that would accept that behaviour. Sometimes no parental viewing is s good idea!

As for the original issue, asking cannot hurt. If your DD likes it then all is well. But taking a leaf from Flippys book, and staying out of the drama would be healthier for your sould and your DD. But, if there is drama around the girls in the gym.

I think I would have her take up long distance running instead, no parents ever stay for those training sessions.

 

[DbacksMom75]

We've decided to steer clear of the drama for now. After talking to another ex-cheer mom that has since gone back, we are going to go to another gym. It has a really good gymnastics program tied to it so if she gets tired of cheer she can stay at the same place. The teams don't travel out of state (bonus) and they have a beginning Cheer/Tumbling class for her age group.

 

[emorymom]

Feeling naive so ... is the drama mostly about some girl being perceived as a weak link and parents being snarky? Or who makes the team or doesn't?

 

[MdGymMom01]

Feeling naive so ... is the drama mostly about some girl being perceived as a weak link and parents being snarky? Or who makes the team or doesn't?

Speaking from my experience having dd do cheer for 3 years at 2 different gyms that is part of it. The problem lies in the fact that there are stunt groups made up of 3-5 people depending on what level you are on, and when the stunt falls the blame game starts. Parents watching through the window see that their "flyer" baby was dropped and they blame it on the bases. Or the parents see the bases getting frustrated with the flyer and yelling at them. It also has a lot to do the the coaching too. It takes an awful lot of coordination and cooperation of the entire stunt group to pull off a successful stunt and if everyone is not doing their part and working together the stunt will not go up or it will come crashing down.

You also have the coveted spots that all the kids and parents are fighting over--flyer, point or center flyer, point or center person in dance, point or center person for jumps, being in a tumbling pass and the oh so coveted and all-mighty...last tumbling pass. It gets really crazy and there are the parents that want their child to be the center of attention ALL THE TIME in the routine.

On top of all this you have a lot of the parents watching for hours on end, critiquing and picking apart every movement and part of the routine. It lends to a very stressful and catty environment.

I talked to a friend who still cheers at the gym we were at last year and she said the drama got so bad this year, that they have closed all practices until Dec right before they start competing. I know that when dd was cheering last year and they closed practices it really did help the kids concentrate better and it helped the parents chill out and stop being so critical and crazy!!!!!!

Sorry for the length, but that is a bit of the cheer world drama that I experienced. Oh, and my dd was only on a Level 2 team--it gets MUCH WORSE as the levels get higher as flippymonkeysmom said.

 

[Gymmonkeymomma]

You also have the coveted spots that all the kids and parents are fighting over--flyer, point or center flyer, point or center person in dance, point or center person for jumps, being in a tumbling pass and the oh so coveted and all-mighty...last tumbling pass. It gets really crazy and there are the parents that want their child to be the center of attention ALL THE TIME in the routine.

OMG, this is so true and I've only been in cheering (not me, I mean my girls) since August! It's not only the parents, it's the kids too. My big DD is a back spot and my little DD is a flyer. They switch stunt groups to see what works and what doesn't and the girls are complaining that certain bases will back away and some flyers kick out the wrong way and they don't want to get whacked, etc. To add to this drama, while our gym does not really encourage gymnastics team parents watching, the cheer parents sit in front of the window directly staring at the girls!!! Our town cheering practices are all closed sessions. Still the girls talk and the parents complain!

 

[MdGymMom01]

OMG, this is so true and I've only been in cheering (not me, I mean my girls) since August! It's not only the parents, it's the kids too. My big DD is a back spot and my little DD is a flyer. They switch stunt groups to see what works and what doesn't and the girls are complaining that certain bases will back away and some flyers kick out the wrong way and they don't want to get whacked, etc. To add to this drama, while our gym does not really encourage gymnastics team parents watching, the cheer parents sit in front of the window directly staring at the girls!!! Our town cheering practices are all closed sessions. Still the girls talk and the parents complain!

Yup!!! Cheer is a crazy world, huh? LOL

 

[DbacksMom75]

It is definaetly a league of its own. Big DD is doing synchro swimming this year..an Olympic sport...where the teams go to Jr. nationals, and the parents aren't as high strung as cheer. Everyone wants their kid to be the "star" but when you have 12-36 kids it's immpossible.
We did a short stint this summer at another gym and left before the season even started because of drama. The owner's havent been doing this very long (obviously) and promised a bunch of moms that their daughters would be on the Jr. level 5 worlds team, well then they didnt get enough kids and a bunch of "true Level 5" promoters took their kids and left (these are moms that believe that no girl should be on a Worlds team unless they have a full) so they didn't have a Jr. 5 team. This caused a wave of outrage where more parents left for other gyms and in the aftermath they barely had enough kids to make any teams. I told the owner's they were crazy for ever promising a cheer mom something because the will hold you to it come heck or high water.
The part that bothers me is the parents that will rip apart another child. I have heard and been the target of some nasty words, my daughter is not the strongest tumbler and had a mom tell me that my daughter had no business being on her daughter's team (as my daughter was single basing her little flyer).
I may not be a coach but I know enough that it takes a team of all types to be successful, you need bigger bases to base the flyers, strong tumblers, good flyers...all of which are different sizes and shapes.
We are going to try to stay out of the madness this time around....the gym we are going to is a National Gymnastics training center so we know where their priorities lie. If our little gymmie wasn't so attached to her coaches we would have her do gymnastics there also.