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I have posted several times about this parent who is my friend and how she has said ugly things about my DD not deserving the scores she gets.

Well the other day she came to gym and had some "drama" to tell me. Her DD is in a play at school. She auditioned for a part and didn't get the part she wanted. She got a part, but she's not the main character that she wanted. This mother was so angry about this and went on and on about how unfair it was. I tried asking questions to determine what she felt was unfair about it. Had she seen the auditions? How did she know her DD was the best one for the part? I couldn't see anything unfair. She got a part, just not the one she wanted. That is life. Teach you kid to deal with it. So then she tells me that because they did this to her DD ( such a tragedy right) she let them know she would no longer be in charge of this project she was doing at the school as a volunteer. She quit on them last minute leaving them in a huge bind. She told me she told them that because they excluded her DD from the part she wanted she would no longer help the school. She needed to spend more time at home with her DD so she would know someone thought she was special. Then she listed all the ways that her quitting was going to really leave them in a lurch and what delight she was going to take in it when the entire project fails.

I'm a coward because this was my opportunity to speak up and tell her that she is completely wrong! She's acting like an immature brat. Your child can't always be the center of attention. There are many, many talented kids in this world who are just as deserving as your child. What kind of lesson are you teaching your child? If you don't like something it's okay to throw a temper tantrum and try to hurt others?

So the craziness is not contained to gymnastics. I hate to say this, but she is just an ugly person with a vengeful heart. I am going to keep my distance from this point forward. She's been my main friend at DD's gym, but I think that's going to definitely change. I can no longer make excuses for someone who has such an unkind attitude toward others.


Proud Parent
Jan 8, 2009
Des Moines Iowa
Well, I don't think you're a won't change her and if you say something, it just makes you the target. The only time you should say something is if she targets YOUR FAMILY, then you have to say something to her in private.
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Moderator/Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Aug 3, 2009
In The Boondocks
Its sad that she is this way, and this is the lesson her daughter is learning. When you take a step back and think makes you wonder why it is the mother is acting this way. Some life experenece of her own..fueling this need to be ever present..ever active in her childs life? This need to feel justified through their child? This need to prove that they are a good parent to all expense? Whats at the root of it all? My dad was smoothered and babied as a a parent himself, he was distant. I knew i was his world..but he seldom said he loved me, or hugged me without me coming to him first. My mom was abused as a child..and as a parent was overly the point of being smoothering at points. So maybe there is something in this ladies past..that is making her feel like she has too make up for something she didnt have...or over compensate. Its not an excuse for the behavoir..but its unexcusable. But maybe a reason?


Proud Parent
Oct 26, 2009
She's what we call a "helicopter mom", and her DD is being treated like a special snowflake - so unique that she needs to be treated differently from everyone else, and only her needs matter. I can't stand this, and there is no way I could continue to be friends with that women. I also would not have said anything - I wouldn't have wanted her to turn her ire on me! Better to just back off slowly.
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Feb 26, 2007
Which is the whole point about crazy gym moms, cgm's, they will be crazy about everything their kids do! They are just obsessed.
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Proud Parent
Jul 22, 2010
Region 8
Well, at least you know now that your daughter wasn't the only target. That is just sad, more for this person's daughter than anyone. How is she ever going to learn to deal with disappointment and other problems? And the fact that this mom is "gleeful" for causing others problems really speaks volumes about who she really is. You are wise to keep your distance from her.
Mar 5, 2008
North America
And these types of people never change. It's a "control issue" that they have. And no matter what sport or activity that their kids are involved in, they will NEVER be happy unless they get their way. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way. I had a friend like this (key word "had") and I just couldn't stand being around them when they were like this. They were constantly comparing and complaining. I decided that the friendship wasn't worth it so I moved on. You will need to decide if the friendship is salvagable and if you are good close frieds with her try and talk to her about it. But sometimes, even talking to them heart to heart doesn't do any good. I am sorry you are going through this and know how frustrating it can be.
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:(Not being in your shoes, I have no idea how I would have reacted either. Just watching "Nostradamus" last night- man it sure did give me a lot to think about- causes me to worry/wonder just how many 'others' there are just like this mother. I really pity that poor child of hers! I can't imagine how many road blocks she is going to hit, and with out her ability to cope in a sane manner she will fall flat on her face. The one important aspect I always teach and continue to enforce with my children and my student-children is that there will ALWAYS be someone better,bigger, and 'badder' (Pun intended) than you. What you do with your 'failure' is the tell tale sign of just how successful you will be/are! This poor child of hers...:confused:


Proud Parent
Feb 19, 2007
DEFINITELY agree with Loveofu.... How in the world can someone justify leaving everyone in the lurch for a school project? Obviously, she is hoping things will fail with her departure. I sure hope that doesn't happen. It's amazing how vengeful some people are. Once again, the things crazy people do just never ceases to amaze me!


I'm just glad I know what I'm dealing with now. I was really trying to give this person the benefit of the doubt. Most parents whose kids are beginning in competitive gymnastics don't understand scoring and how the little things can really add up and in most cases count more than a fall if you have enough of them. A lot of parents will think their child didn't fall off the beam so they should get a higher score than someone who did without realizing how many small things their kid did wrong. I wanted to believe she wasn't just an ugly person who really does only care about her child. She is absolutely that parent who thinks her child is the special little snowflake who can do no wrong and should be everyone's favorite. You can already see this behavior in her child as well. It's really a shame.

As far as what causes her to be this way, I don't know. Maybe she was raised by a mother who was the same. Maybe she is disappointed in her life and thinks her child reflects on her. If my child wins, then I'm a winner by association. That's the attitude I see with most parents who are like this. I like when my child does well. Everyone does. I don't think it makes everyone think I'm a better person, or better mother or whatever these people are hoping to look better at.


Proud Parent
Mar 12, 2010
It was best for you to say nothing, it wasn't cowardly. This woman is living in her own little fanatsy world. I bet you that she wasn't really as "important" to that school project as she led you to believe either. In fact, I'll bet the rest of the parents did a little happy dance when she quit :D

Unfortunately for her dd, with this role model, she will probably turn out the same way. Poor kid.


I know for me I couldn't keep my mouth shut and that gets me into trouble but I think you did the right thing you might find out too once you distance yourself from this troll that the other parents might be more friendly towards you. They may have already been down that road.
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May 17, 2010
Region 5
I don't think you're a coward for not saying anything, but I do think it's time for you to begin distancing yourself from her.

You've had several posts about the drama she brings to you, and by continuing to allow yourself to be sucked into it makes you complicit in her actions. I'm not advocating anything drastic or turning an abrupt cold shoulder to her, but rather backing out of the conversations when they arise. Hang out with her when she can "behave" and remove yourself from her when she starts this up. Just like a child, these people learn best from positive reinforcement, and not acknowledging/feeding the drama horse is necessary to make it stop. Even a smile and nod while she's talking like this can be seen as support of her cause du jour.


Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Sep 25, 2007
Definitely not a coward. Anything you said would have been ignored anyway. So sad for her child.


Proud Parent
Jul 14, 2010
New Zealand
I agree, she sounds so full of her own importance that she wouldn't have listened anyway. She sounds like a spoiled child, pulling out of the school project is just like when little kids don't get their way and taunt each other saying 'I'm not going to play with you any more', 'I'm not going to be your friend any more'. Bad enough that she let the school down but being happy about hurting them is incredibly spiteful. I don't know how I'd deal with someone like that, I haven't experienced anything like it.


Proud Parent
Feb 10, 2007
She is so not worth your time and energy!! take that and focus on you and your child!! that is what truly matters!
Jun 5, 2008
I agree with many of the other posts. This woman has many deep seeded issues that nothing you say would make a difference. She really needs serious counseling but she probably won't get it. Many times in these situations, the same thing will happen time and time again (because we can't always get what we want all the time) and the family relationship will implode. It is so sad what she is inadvertently doing to herself, her dd and her family.

Now that you know what you know about her, you can help yourself not take anything she says personally. That in itself is a powerful thing.
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