Parents Newbie! What have I done?!

DON'T LURK... Join The Discussion!

Members see FEWER ads

Teammom

Proud Parent
I admit, I think I might be crazy and I might have gone over board. My DD started this fall in beginner rec class. She was 3 months shy of being 5. I don't know much about gymnastics, but I watched a pre-team group my DD same age. They were doing strength training stuff that my DD could easily do. I asked around about this pre/team group and I found out it's very secretive. They pull a few kids in it from the preschool classes. My DD didn't take in preschool. I asked her rec coach if my daughter could do it, she responded "yes she's very strong and learns fast." Great I thought. I called to sign her up for the class and the coach that answered responded that my daughter needed to stay right where she was. Little did I know that I called in the middle of competition season. I don't think she was ever evaluated. I emailed again 2 weeks ago (after competition season died down). She said bring her in Tuesday and Thursday to the preteam class to be evaluated. This gym Is very large, so the coach I emailed is not the preteam coach. Tuesday she did ok, but the coach acted like she did awesome. Thursday she rocked it. After the class the same coach acted cold as ice to me. And sort of hinted she might back to rec.

I think it's because the coach I emailed told the preteam coach I was a crazy mom. And now they're aren't going to let her on the team. I'm actually a quiet shy person. I wasn't making a big scene! But I know they're penalizing my DD because I tried to butt in!!
 
Ugh. So frustrating. I hate how some gyms handle the jump from rec to team. They should be open to hearing if a family is OPEN to the swap, because some families would NOT be open to it, especially if they knew the time and money commitment that competitive gymnastics is.

My experience with my older DD was that she wanted to do team. I asked her rec coach about it and was told she wasn't ready. I watched other kids who did not seem to be able to do the skills that DD could do get pulled into pre-team. I just kept believing the coach that she would let us know if DD was ready. Then DD got put in a class with the HC one day and he asked after the practice if we had decided not to do team. I said that DD had been interested; but we were told she wasn't ready for pre-team. He responded, "oh no. She's ready. Have her start those practices tomorrow." A week later they moved her from pre-team to team. Clearly the rec coach for some reason didn't consider DD ready for *pre-team*; but the HC for team thought she was more than ready for pre-team and was actually ready for team. I wonder what would have happened had she not started that class that HC was teaching. I'm not sure; but I wonder if she would have given up on gymnastics after tons of time in rec.

In your situation, it doesn't sound like you were a CGM. And if the gym gets their panties in a bunch over a parent asking about the move from rec to team then they are probably going to be difficult to work with in the future. Wait and see what happens; but if they move her back to rec and she wants team, look elsewhere.
 
If that's how they are about a basic tryout for pre-team, then you may do very well for yourself and your daughter to look elsewhere. My daughter didn't start gymnastics until she was 8 and we were also given the run-around/cast aside at the first gym we attempted to go to because she was 'too old'. That was 5 years ago and she just competed L9, so it all worked out. But we went elsewhere as the first gym we tried was not a good option for her.

See what happens and then make a decision about where to go from here.
 
Is it a TOPS class that you are trying to get her into? If so it could be that they start doing TOPS testing in the summer and maybe they don't feel they would have enough time to get her caught up with the other kids before the testing takes place?
 
I agree with @2G1B, doesn't sound like you did anything crazy. Did they tell you what to do next? Are you to take her back to rec or back to preteam class on Tuesday?
If you are not clear, email that coach again and ask for clarification. Depending on how you word your email, it doesn't have to sound like a CGM, just a parent trying to figure out the best next step for her child.
The worst case scenario, if they say no, take her for evaluation to other gyms. She sounds like a talented girl, I'm sure you will find a good place for her to pursue gymnastics if that's what she wants.
 
you aren't crazy! and i had no idea how this whole thing worked when i first started either. i thought dd was going to be starting an advanced class after a few weeks in the summer of some fun stuff but the coaches moved her directly into lvl 3. so we skipped all that political mumbo jumbo moving your kid from rec to invite only advanced to lvl 2/preteam to lvl 3 and she competed her first meet 5 months later. after reading posts out here, i realize how very lucky we were!

if i were you i'd have done the same thing. and i agree, maybe go get her evaluated/try out at another gym specifically for pre-team. and moving from rec to pre-team shouldn't have an impact during competition season. usually the coaches are different and these kids aren't competing. at our gym we had several move to a new "3D" class mid-season. lvl 3 developmental. they work out 3 days/week with the competing level 3s and don't compete their first year. they move them up as soon as they see potential. the sooner the better in the hopes of getting them ready to compete this coming fall.

we do have some invite only advanced classes and a level 2 class and the 3d kids get pulled from both of these. the other kids can go either JO or Xcel route when they are ready.
 
They told me to bring her back through the month of May to the preteam class. She's still doing intermediate rec class also. I'm just frustrated because I have a feeling they'll put her in rec for the summer because of me!! Could they not take her because she's on the taller side for a 5 year old??

Seriously, she got farther on climbing the rope then any of the girls....without using her legs!!! Total arm strength. She takes a 30 min lesson from a guy that teaches only tumbling. Mainly to cheerleaders (total different gym). He is floored that the gym won't take her in preteam. He's never worked with a 5 year old as strong as her. I wanted to get outside help for her because there is so much standing around in rec classes. He does same strength training as pre team.

If they put her in rec for summer and next school year, my plan is to sign her up for 2 classes a week and try to get her on the team going the rec way. Apparently they choose kids for team in advanced rec.

Ok, so what's TOPs, JO and xcel?
 
  • Like
Reactions: sce
I think your best bet is to calm down, take her through the end of May and see what happens.

I had a few thoughts like yours when my daughter started pre team. What I didn't realize was how many things they were looking at that I didn't even know to look for!! Gymnasts have to be so well rounded! Strength, flexibility, speed, balance, focus, precision, fearlessness, etc.

You might be seeing the thing she excels at and missing other things she can use some work.

If you go in thinking you know more than the coaches about what things a 5 year old has that makes a good gymnast... you do run the risk of looking like a CGM.

JO and XCEL are different types of USGA teams. With JO generally being more demanding than XCEL.

TOPS is some sort of development program --- more down the potential elite track. It isn't really a team, but a something you train and "test". You can lean more about these on the USAG website.
 
One more thing... don't compare her to others at practice. If she is going to do this gymnastics thing, the sooner you stop that the better. Just compare her to herself.

Is she happy in this new group? Do you see improvement in anything from the start of this group to the end of May? That stuff should help you decide what to do if she doesn't get invited to stay in pre-team. Not how she compares to the other kids.
 
I think when my daughter started out in Intermediate Rec, we went to two classes a week fairly quickly. She was six and a half at the time. It helped in getting to learn skills and the like.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sce
Is she enjoying gym? Is she learning, having fun? There is no rush with a 5 year old, she has time. There will be things that the coaches 'see' that you don't. Pick a gym that you like, coaches that you trust, where your daughter is enjoying herself, then step back and rely on their expertise to take her where she needs to be, when she needs to be there.
 
All great advice!! I think she loves the preteam because it's girls her age. Her rec class is made up of 1st-3rd graders. She feels more comfortable with 4K girls in the preteam class. They'll all start kindergarten in the fall.

Ok, to recap y'alls advice....
Stay calm, she can still eventually be on the team. Finish out through May with preteam and do as the coach says. IF she says stay in rec, I'll probably sign her up for 2 classes a week. If she makes preteam it's 3 class (2 hours each) a week. Honestly, that might be too many hours for a kindergartener anyway.
 
It doesn't seem to me like you were being overly pushy, but just in case, I would be super polite (I'm sure you probably are anyway) and try not to ask any more questions about her placement this summer, but be sure to let the coaches know how much dd is enjoying the experience. If at the end of May they tell you they are putting her back in rec, be calm and collected, but politely ask if they will reconsider her for team at another time, or if she is just not a good fit for team at their gym. If they tell you she is not a good fit at all, I would consider trying out other gyms. Some gyms (and you could possibly be at one of these) are very very picky about who they will take for JO team, they base it on things like body type, age, flexibility, things that don't always make sense to us as parents. These gyms will often stream a kid who doesn't meet their "standards" into the Xcel program, which is a less intense program, but still competitive. It sounds to me that the pre team she is trying out with may be the JO pre team and the team girls they pull from advanced rec might be streamed to Xcel. Not 100% sure if that's the case of course, but that's a possibility. And if they want to put her back in advanced rec with the intention of streaming her into Xcel later on down the road, you may want to look into other options depending on what your dd wants. JO is intense training, high hours, expensive, and a big commitment for the family and there is not a lot of flexibility, you must have certain skills to be able to compete in the compulsory levels. Xcel is generally lower hours, the kids can have their own routines with skills suited to their strengths, but still very fun and competitive. However if your dd wants to do JO eventually, and this gym won't consider her for JO, it might be worth looking into moving her sooner rather than later. At 5 years old she is too young to be written off, but unfortunately a lot of gyms do it, and sometimes these kids who they wouldn't take go on to other gyms and start beating their previous gym's hand picked perfect JO teams. Can't tell you how many times we have read about this happening here!

If she is accepted for the pre-team, then you will have to decide if you and her are ready to commit to the hours and financial obligations (as the hours and cost only go up the higher in level they go.) And be aware that they will more than likely not want her to be taking lessons at another gym if she does make pre team, especially not with a cheer gym. Cheer tumbling and gymnastics tumbling are different and she could possibly pick up bad habits that her coaches will have to fix later on down the road.

Best of luck to her and please keep us updated on how it goes!
 
I admit, I think I might be crazy and I might have gone over board. My DD started this fall in beginner rec class. She was 3 months shy of being 5. I don't know much about gymnastics, but I watched a pre-team group my DD same age. They were doing strength training stuff that my DD could easily do. I asked around about this pre/team group and I found out it's very secretive. They pull a few kids in it from the preschool classes. My DD didn't take in preschool. I asked her rec coach if my daughter could do it, she responded "yes she's very strong and learns fast." Great I thought. I called to sign her up for the class and the coach that answered responded that my daughter needed to stay right where she was. Little did I know that I called in the middle of competition season. I don't think she was ever evaluated. I emailed again 2 weeks ago (after competition season died down). She said bring her in Tuesday and Thursday to the preteam class to be evaluated. This gym Is very large, so the coach I emailed is not the preteam coach. Tuesday she did ok, but the coach acted like she did awesome. Thursday she rocked it. After the class the same coach acted cold as ice to me. And sort of hinted she might back to rec.

I think it's because the coach I emailed told the preteam coach I was a crazy mom. And now they're aren't going to let her on the team. I'm actually a quiet shy person. I wasn't making a big scene! But I know they're penalizing my DD because I tried to butt in!!


It doesn't sound like they are penalizing her. Sounds like they are giving her a fair shot. The coach invited her to the pre-team classes to evaluate her and she is there until at least the end of May. If they thought you were a really crazy-gym-mom (CGM), they wouldn't have done that. What you took as the coach being "cold to you" could have easily been the coach having a bad day. What exactly did he/she say that hinted your dd would be sent back down to rec? How do you know the coach told the other coach you were crazy? Sorry, I don't mean to throw all these questions at you like the inquisition. I just think you may be overthinking this. Relax - breathe. Wait until the end of the month. Give them time to see what dd can do and whether she is ready for the next step (it is not just about strength or a few skills - it is the whole package) . Not sure if you are, but don't ask about how she did after each practice. Just let them lead the way the next couple of weeks.
 
It doesn't sound like they are penalizing her. Sounds like they are giving her a fair shot. The coach invited her to the pre-team classes to evaluate her and she is there until at least the end of May. If they thought you were a really crazy-gym-mom (CGM), they wouldn't have done that. What you took as the coach being "cold to you" could have easily been the coach having a bad day. What exactly did he/she say that hinted your dd would be sent back down to rec? How do you know the coach told the other coach you were crazy? Sorry, I don't mean to throw all these questions at you like the inquisition. I just think you may be overthinking this. Relax - breathe. Wait until the end of the month. Give them time to see what dd can do and whether she is ready for the next step (it is not just about strength or a few skills - it is the whole package) . Not sure if you are, but don't ask about how she did after each practice. Just let them lead the way the next couple of weeks.

I'm probably over reacting. You're totally right, they are giving her a chance!! I'll keep y'all posted.
 
Why is she still taking the rec class and the private lesson elsewhere? As a coach, those things would annoy me more than the fact that you asked about having her evaluated for preteam. Did they tell you to leave her in her rec class? Do they know about the private lesson at an outside facility?
 
She is still taking her rec class because they never told me not to take her to it. It's a huge gym and the preteam coaches aren't there during rec. Should I not let her go back to rec until after they tell me where they are going to put her? The problem is, I'll hand to take her to the rec class because my older daughter takes at that same time. She's in beginner rec. Actually this is the last week of rec classes. So, should she sit with me during the class? That seems a little strange.

Yes, they know about outside coach. They didn't seem to care about that. He owns a tiny workout gym and teaches tumbling on the side. He's actually a dancer/ballet teacher (but not at his gym). Almost all our neighborhood girls go to him for extra practice.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sce
Usually once a kid starts pre team they no longer attend rec classes. But it sounds like the communication at your gym is not great.
 
Yes, for the month of May. They never mentioned stopping rec class. It's just once a week and her sister takes at that time
 

New Posts

DON'T LURK... Join The Discussion!

Members see FEWER ads

Gymnaverse :: Recent Activity

College Gym News

New Posts

Back