Parents Normal Fears? Doc Ali?

[NY Dad]

My 7 year old is level 2 pre-team. When I spoke to her coach a little over a month ago and he mentioned that she had some fear issues. When dd came home from gymnastics today she mentioned that she's scared with bars (she mentioned some skills but I don't remember the specifics) and her BHS.

For bars she was at the gym approx a 9-12 months ago in a rec class when a friend of hers fell and had a really bad arm break (rushed out in ambulance, needed pins…). My DD mentioned this accident after her class today (out of the blue). She's said she's scared she's going to get hurt liker her friend did. It had come up maybe one other time in many, many months, I was surprised it was still on her mind.

She said for BHS she’s just scared. When she has mentioned fears to me I’ve just told her not to worry about it and that when she gets these skills she gets them. It sounds like she feels like the other girls are starting to get these skills and she can’t get them. (she started level 2 in September)

Are these the types of fears that Doc Ali’s products could help with? What would be best or her? (or me?) If not, are there other types products out there for a 7 year old?

 

[duyetanh]

I think what you said to her was fine. Seeing as the coach brought up her fears to you, you can always ask how she is doing with them, and does the coach have any advice on how to help be a supportive parent at home. You can also let the coach know why she has her bar fears if you think that would help (if you haven't already done so).
I would start there.

 

[jillc]

My daughter is at a similar level and age. From what I have seen from others, I got the impression that 7 would likely be too young for Doc Ali's stuff.

My daughter has mentioned being scared just a couple of times and they are specific to bars (the shoot through and mill circle) and BHS. I am not sure about the bars, but I don't mind that she is scared of the BHS. She will do drills fine and with a spot fine, but she is scared to try it by herself -- to me that is just good self realization, because I think her coach would agree she isn't ready to do this yet.

Her hasn't said anything about the fears, so I don't know if they don't show up in practice or if it is just something the coach isn't worried about, This is a very experienced coach for this level. Not sure how experienced your coach is and if they can tell you if her fears are normal or not.

It sounds like fears grow exponentially as the skills get more difficult, so I was just going to let her figure out the fear, and if she doesn't, maybe this isn't sport isn't for her. Not that I won't try to support my daughter or support the coach, but I don't want to push too much either -- it seem like that has a chance to backfire and make it worse rather than better.

So I just tell her to keep working hard and listen to her coach and having fun.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I am a realist. We could get hurt at anytime. Just stepping off a curb. There are no guarantees. And gymnastics has some scary skills. And I truly trust that her coaches are not going to let her do something they do not think she is ready for.

And so how I have approached things so far. We all get things when we get them. Her job is to work hard. My kid was one of the last to get a kip, mill circle, suk. And never first to get a skill. They come when they come. And I tell her, her coach will not let her do something they think she can not do. And a bit of scary is normal until you get something. I remind her it was scary to her the first time we let go of her on her 2wheeler.


My daughter just did a new for the first time the other day. It went something like this.

Kid; Mom I did abc into the pit today.
Me: Awesome how did it go
Kid: Not so good, I face planted
Me: Good thing you work in the pit first huh
Kid: Yeah
Me: Well keep up the hard work, it will get better. I bet since it was the first one you were a little nervous and it seemed scary.
Her: Yeah
Me: Think it will be as scary next time
Her: No the first one is always the worst.

We boggle on

I try not to let her see me sweat.

 

[NY Dad]

I try not to let her see me sweat.

I hear you. It's probably a good thing that I've never watched a practice.
When she showed me (with her doll) a mill circle, in the back of my head I was thinking .
But I looked calm and smiled.

 

[MeetDirector]

My 7 year old is level 2 pre-team. ... (she started level 2 in September)

Are these the types of fears that Doc Ali’s products could help with? What would be best or her? (or me?) If not, are there other types products out there for a 7 year old?

NY Dad -

Take a deep breath, now exhale. Repeat. Your daughter is just beginning her (hopefully) very long journey in this sport. There will be many, many bumps along this winding road. If you react to every one of these bumps the way you are with a little small thing at Level 2, you are going to be bonkers by the time she gets to optionals. If she is at a good gym with good coaches that you trust, they will help her work through any fears; trust me - they have seen it before and they are the best equipped to handle it when it happens.

Good Luck.

 

[Deleted member 19866]

My daughter had BHS fears and was one of the last to get it in her group. Once you get comfortable enough that she supports herself with her arms in a spot I would pull off the bed mattress and let her try them on the floor at home. That's what we did at home with my daughter. Once she realized she did I couldn't get her to stop. She took BHS to the trampoline the same day and then to the floor that week. A lot of kids have fear of going backwards but once they realize they can it just clicks. I would also have her do some fun conditioning at home like wheel barrows through the house, and handstand holds to get her shoulders strong . Fears are pretty inevitable just as much as some type of pain/injury at some point. I would just listen to her and then try and make it a light subject of discussion.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I wouldn't be having her working BHS at home.

 

[Deleted member 19866]

To clarify my post: it was meant and intended for when she is "ready" and confident enough. It was a suggestion. A lot of kids get them at home on their trampolines.

 

[profmom]

The problem with working BHS at home on a mattress or trampoline is that they can master incorrect techniques that could require months or years to fix in the gym. It's also a very bad idea for someone without gymnastics coaching experience to attempt spotting BHSs. I've seen them go wrong even in the hands of an experienced coach in a gym.

 

[CuriousCate]

A 7 year old on my DD's level 3 team just got her ROBHS this week and she's been training them since April, with most girls getting them by summer. Kids gets past their fears much better than we do, so I wouldn't worry. It will not paralyze her from progress! She'll get there.

 

[GymDad9.9]

I am a realist. We could get hurt at anytime. Just stepping off a curb. There are no guarantees. And gymnastics has some scary skills. And I truly trust that her coaches are not going to let her do something they do not think she is ready for.

And so how I have approached things so far. We all get things when we get them. Her job is to work hard. My kid was one of the last to get a kip, mill circle, suk. And never first to get a skill. They come when they come. And I tell her, her coach will not let her do something they think she can not do. And a bit of scary is normal until you get something. I remind her it was scary to her the first time we let go of her on her 2wheeler.


My daughter just did a new for the first time the other day. It went something like this.

Kid; Mom I did abc into the pit today.
Me: Awesome how did it go
Kid: Not so good, I face planted
Me: Good thing you work in the pit first huh
Kid: Yeah
Me: Well keep up the hard work, it will get better. I bet since it was the first one you were a little nervous and it seemed scary.
Her: Yeah
Me: Think it will be as scary next time
Her: No the first one is always the worst.

We boggle on

I try not to let her see me sweat.

Reminds me of a recent story my daughter told me. She told me she was afraid to do skill EFG in the pit because she was afraid of hitting her head on the front edge of the pit in the event her body momentum didn't take her clear into the pit. Turns out she has no problem doing skill EFG on the floor and is not afraid to land badly there. It's crazy sometimes where the blocks come from.

 

[NY Dad]

Thanks for all the responses and for sharing your own experiences.

I got the impression that 7 would likely be too young for Doc Ali's stuff.

Thanks, that's what I assumed from the ages listed on the website but I thought I would ask if anyone had any success with a 7 year old.

I've been reading on CB about how normal fears are, I was just trying to be proactive. Based on the advice I see here, sounds like I'm doing okay. Next time she mentions her fears (if ) I'll have more of a conversation to acknowledge it's scary (b/c I'm sure it is).

Take a deep breath, now exhale. Repeat.

I agree, I think I'm getting all the nerves out of the way now . I assume she has a good coach (she likes him) but truthfully I have no idea. I didn't get the impression that there was any pressure coming from her coach.

I would pull off the bed mattress and let her try them on the floor at home.

While I love the idea of this I'm guessing her coach wouldn't approve. Especially since she hasn't gotten the skill during her class yet. I'm pretty much leaving gymnastics in the gym. She mostly does conditioning at home. Your profile says you're a coach, you suggest this for the kids you coach?

 

[balancedmom]

Good luck to you and your DD. I have been there with my DD-- she has had a lot of fears, which is why I am chiming in. I agree with folks to take deep breaths, this is a long road, and I would let her take care of the issues in the gym and not dwell on them out of the gym AT ALL. However, I will add some words of warning, just based on my experience --if fears start early, you may end up seeing quite a lot of them. Maybe you wont, but we have, and this has really held my DD back. Though she was a talented young gymnast, she did not progress as fast as her friends because she had lots of blocks. So, you may end up seeing this as well. I wish a couple of things-- I wish we recognized that with all the fears, gym may not be the best sport for my DD-- not that she would have just quit (she loves it)--but I wish we had maybe tracked her into excel or something less intense. I wish we would have known that fears and blocks can also lead to injuries-- kids are not as safe when they are fearful. Just some things to watch for, and hope your DD gets over the fears.

 

[Deleted member 19866]

Thanks for all the responses and for sharing your own experiences.


Thanks, that's what I assumed from the ages listed on the website but I thought I would ask if anyone had any success with a 7 year old.

I've been reading on CB about how normal fears are, I was just trying to be proactive. Based on the advice I see here, sounds like I'm doing okay. Next time she mentions her fears (if ) I'll have more of a conversation to acknowledge it's scary (b/c I'm sure it is).


View attachment 6427 I agree, I think I'm getting all the nerves out of the way now . I assume she has a good coach (she likes him) but truthfully I have no idea. I didn't get the impression that there was any pressure coming from her coach.


While I love the idea of this I'm guessing her coach wouldn't approve. Especially since she hasn't gotten the skill during her class yet. I'm pretty much leaving gymnastics in the gym. She mostly does conditioning at home. Your profile says you're a coach, you suggest this for the kids you coach?

I am not a coach, just a gym parent. I accidentally put coach and gym parent and do not know how to change it. I'm still new to the site and trying to figure out how all this comment stuff, etc. lol It's quite confusing. I understand what your are saying though. I would t want anyone to get hurt. We got the idea off YouTube. She was just struggling with the fear part but we knew she could do it from watching in gym. Good luck to your daughter! I'm sure she will get it all soon!

 

[Deleted member 18037]

I am not a coach, just a gym parent. I accidentally put coach and gym parent and do not know how to change it. I'm still new to the site and trying to figure out how all this comment stuff, etc. lol It's quite confusing. I understand what your are saying though. I would t want anyone to get hurt. We got the idea off YouTube. She was just struggling with the fear part but we knew she could do it from watching in gym. Good luck to your daughter! I'm sure she will get it all soon!

I would be staying off you tube as well for advice.

 

[Natasha]

Fear at age 7 is normal.
Fear doing flippy things at age 7 is normal.
Fear doing tricks on bars at age 7 is normal.
Fear is a survival instinct to keep us safe.
She just needs time to get comfortable. As she sees other girls her age doing these skills she will likely get used to it and be less scared herself. OR, she may continue with fears and be better suited for a different sport. Only time will tell. However, pushing will not help.
My dd is scared of heights. At age 8 she would literally shake when practicing her routine on the competition bars instead of the smaller bar practice set. At age 9 she would not jump to the high bar despite coach bribing, rewarding, etc... Fast forward to level 10, her favorite skill is her single rail release move (let go of high bar, flip and catch it again hopefully without hitting her feet and falling on back of neck). I didn't do anything to help her get over her bar fears other than stay out of it.

 

[flippingtogether]

First and foremost, fears are totally normal - totally totally to be expected. Mine has had a zillion various fears over the years (early on at level 2/3 it was bars) .... And since then various other things. But she worked through them slowly but surely and now she is a L8.
At your DDs age, likely just time and repetition will build confidence (with no pressure or yelling, of course!).

But I share a resource for you - for in the future if needed. And you might peruse the site for more info now - lots of FAQs and free resources: https://www.competitivedge.com

And this page talks a bit about what you described. A kid can see something - like another kid get hurt - and then this memory is dormant for a while. But then one day it rears its ugly head as a fear or block..... Totally normal and overcome-able...
https://www.competitivedge.com/overcoming-performance-fears-and-blocks-all-sports

Good luck but all will be fine