Old enough, too young?

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Deanna

Moderator/Proud Parent
Proud Parent
Okay, Kadee's gym is having a Halloween Pajamanastics. (basically like a lock in at the gym). Its from 8pm on the 30th till 8am on the 31st. They will have a haunted house, movie time, midnight snack, carnival games, costume contest, swimming, Play by Play time (big indoor playground), and much more..lol (not sure what the much more is).

Anywho, they have 3 or 4 of these things each year..all themed. Its for Kindergarten and up. Once they are "locked" in for the night, they dont leave, unless its must. She has never been old enough to go to one yet...this is the first time. Of course the HC talked to the team about it..and she wants to go. She has had 2 slumber parties before but other than that never spent a night away from mom and dad. When I asked the coach about her being so young she said that sometimes they have 3 or 4 her age there..and sometimes not a single one. I want her to be able to go..and cont. to grow her independence, but I dont want her to get there and once she starts getting tired and sees that they are not sleeping wanting to come home and not being able to till morning.

Ill never know if she is ready for that level of "away from home" if I never try it. But I also dont want her to go through having to stay if she doesnt want to. That in itself could pos. be a lesson learned also...really think about things before jumping into it. But at 5 is her mind really wired to even think that way?
 
Do you trust your gym with the safety of your child? I'm assuming you do or you would not let her take classes there. If you feel secure knowing they'll take wonderful care of her then I'd give it a shot. Mainly because it sounds soOo fun!! haha :)

I understand your worries. Believe me. I'm an over protective parent. But, I really think they would call you if Kadee's is just flat out miserable. At Pixie's gym for parties and open gym when a parent drops the child off they have to pay and sign the child in. The kids are not allowed to leave until the parent signs them out. Ask the gym if this is something that they do. It's good for piece of mind.

Another option is to see if they will let you pick her up later in the evening around 10:00 or so. This would allow her to have some of the fun and gain a little independence without being too much too fast.

Plus, it will allow mom to adjust to the thought of her baby girl being away from the nest. ;)
 
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Does she have a friend in her class that may want to attend with her? It might be reassuring if she knew that a friend was going to be there.

She could even ask a friend from school or the neighborhood to go. Most gyms seem to allow nonmembers to attend lock ins.
 
I also would ask her team mates if they are going. If so then I would happily send her. I probably wouldn't if she was the only little one.
 
Could you go as a chaperone maybe? They may be looking for parent chaperones. If she is resistant to the idea, then you could just tell her "oh the coaches need help from the parents so you guys can have a lot of fun, but you can pretend I'm not there." or something.

Otherwise I would probably evaluate who would be there. While some coaches are excellent coaches I have definitely met some who would not be able to understand a small child that young and sleep and whatnot. So I might be concerned about that. If there will be some people there with a lot of experience with long term care for smaller children, and you find them trustworthy, then they probably can keep an eye on her for you and call you if she needs to be picked up.
 
I would not let her stay overnight. At our old gym the lock-ins were open until around 10 and then they locked the doors. If it were a bunch of 5 year olds that is one thing, but keep in mind she will be with people up to 10 years older than her. that makes me uncomfortable.

Jennifer
 
but keep in mind she will be with people up to 10 years older than her.

If she will be with older girls then maybe she shouldnt spend the night, because I being a teenage girl may talk about some things 5 year olds shouldnt hear :rolleyes: and we like to stay up all night talking :) and if I were 5 and in that position I'd try to be like the older girls by not going to bed or acting like them, and that's probably not the best idea! However, if she is with girls her age, then I'd definitely let her go! It sounds like so much fun!!!
 
Okay, Kadee's gym is having a Halloween Pajamanastics. (basically like a lock in at the gym). Its from 8pm on the 30th till 8am on the 31st. They will have a haunted house, movie time, midnight snack, carnival games, costume contest, swimming, Play by Play time (big indoor playground), and much more..lol (not sure what the much more is).

Anywho, they have 3 or 4 of these things each year..all themed. Its for Kindergarten and up. Once they are "locked" in for the night, they dont leave, unless its must. She has never been old enough to go to one yet...this is the first time. Of course the HC talked to the team about it..and she wants to go. She has had 2 slumber parties before but other than that never spent a night away from mom and dad. When I asked the coach about her being so young she said that sometimes they have 3 or 4 her age there..and sometimes not a single one. I want her to be able to go..and cont. to grow her independence, but I dont want her to get there and once she starts getting tired and sees that they are not sleeping wanting to come home and not being able to till morning.

Ill never know if she is ready for that level of "away from home" if I never try it. But I also dont want her to go through having to stay if she doesnt want to. That in itself could pos. be a lesson learned also...really think about things before jumping into it. But at 5 is her mind really wired to even think that way?

You know your child best to know if she can handle it. How is she with haunted stuff?? I would think that a scarefest isnt' the best theme to start an overnight adventure with.

For me an overnight like that I didn't do untill my dd was 7. I went with most overnight camps start at 7yo. Also at 5 I think friend sleep overs or night at grandmas is good but not so sure about a scary night at the gym.
 
I would say all of this depends on the child and the gym. I have a 5yo at the gym and I wouldn't worry in the least at leaving her to a sleep over there. They are all like one big family and really keep an eye out for each other. I wouldn't let my 5yo go to a sleep over at another gym at this point even if she were to go with her sister. So I don't think your dd is too young at all. Our gym does sleep overs for the team girls all the time and they have so much fun, there is just something neat about having a sleep over with your coach. I know the is a little different but if she were to have a team memeber with her it might be just fine.
 
I am comfortable enough with my gym and the girls there that i would have let dd go to such a thing if we had them when she was in K..but we had already been at that gym for a while by then.

Perhaps check with the coach..if she was scared or wanted to come home wouldn't they call you to come get her? I understand the "lock in" idea,,,but wouldnt that be cause to let a parent come get their dd?
 
If she will be with older girls then maybe she shouldnt spend the night, because I being a teenage girl may talk about some things 5 year olds shouldnt hear :rolleyes: and we like to stay up all night talking :) and if I were 5 and in that position I'd try to be like the older girls by not going to bed or acting like them, and that's probably not the best idea! However, if she is with girls her age, then I'd definitely let her go! It sounds like so much fun!!!
I'm gonna have to disagree a tiny bit with what you said here.

If younger kids have been invited by the gym to participate in an organized activity I think the teenagers should use self control and not talk about things that are inappropriate for the younger gymmies to hear.
 
I don't mean to be disrespectful, but these gym sleepovers are for everyone to have a good time. My DD is 15, she and her peers go to these and they DO stay up all night and they do what teenaged girls do... they talk about boys, Justin Bieber, more Justin Bieber, football games, and things that go on in high school. I would never ask that they not talk about what they want to talk about just because 5 year olds are also around. These are good kids... they are not talking about drugs and alcohol, but to ask them to basically babysit (which is what you're asking when you ask that they not talk about whatever it is teenagers talk about), I think is a bit unrealistic.

I do think it would be a good idea to keep the door open to a late pickup around 10:00 or so.
 
I don't mean to be disrespectful, but these gym sleepovers are for everyone to have a good time. My DD is 15, she and her peers go to these and they DO stay up all night and they do what teenaged girls do... they talk about boys, Justin Bieber, more Justin Bieber, football games, and things that go on in high school. I would never ask that they not talk about what they want to talk about just because 5 year olds are also around. These are good kids... they are not talking about drugs and alcohol, but to ask them to basically babysit (which is what you're asking when you ask that they not talk about whatever it is teenagers talk about), I think is a bit unrealistic.

I do think it would be a good idea to keep the door open to a late pickup around 10:00 or so.
How is any of that inappropriate?

The other person mentioned that if teenagers will be there, that younger kids should not go because "the teenagers will talk about things 5 year olds shouldnt hear".

First, all kids were invited not just teenagers. And you are right they are for EVERYONE to have a good time. Not just teenagers because they want to talk about things that shouldn't be talked about in front of 5 year olds.

Second, nothing you mentioned is inappropriate conversation that should exclude younger gymmies from being invited to the lock in.

Third, the lock in was set up to include younger gymmies. Not just teenagers. If the teenagers want to have inappropraite conversations that "5 years olds shouldn't hear" they should save it for another time that they are not at an organized gym activity. As a teenager they are old enough to be self aware. They don't have to babysit, just use self restraint and not talk about things that are inappropriate.

I don't mean to be disrespectful, either. But, I'm going to have to wholeheartedly disagree with what you've said too.


Maybe your definition and my definition of "inappropriate" are two different things.
 
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Even at 15 my dd BETTER not be talking about anything that a 5 yr old could not overhear..because then it would not be ok for her either. Boys football and *cringe* Justin Bieber..she talks about that stuff now at 8...and knows what is appropriate young lady conversation and what is not..I would trust that the older girls at our gym (most of whom I know quite well) would be aware of the younger girls and behave accordingly...which is as they do anyway
 
She's really little. My older DD went to one of these when she was 10 and the results were ... well, wierd.

She was really sleep deprived the next day. She slept most of the day (which was to be expected) but when we brought her down for dinner, she got up on the kitchen counter and tried to do a handstand. :eek:

We caught her just in time since that wasn't going to be a great moment in our house. She was really, really disoriented and it was really a bit scary how out of it she seemed.

Basically, just know your child and find out if they are actually going to have the kids sleep or if they will be up doing random gymnastics skills at 2:00am - which depending on the kid might not be such a good idea.

Best Wishes,

ZZMom
 
My DD is 6 and on the level 3 team. This is is first year on the team/competing. Her gym is also having something-- sleepover/lock in for Halloween. I have decided she will not attend this year. Why? Well, she's 6, and brave and likes things like this , but I feel she is too young and "new" to the gym/team. Next year after she has a year of competing and being on the team and has some solid friendships on the team she can go.

Would I send my 5 or 6 year old... me, no.

PS- While we all expect the girls in the gym and on the team to act accordingly, I have witnessed some not so nice things being said to the younger girls (think 8 and 9 year olds) from the older girls (think 13 and 14 year olds). Like, "hey there are too many munchkins around here (said in a mean tone)" when in a group of younger-- team girls. This kind of stuff goes on-- like it or not.
 
Pixie Flips, I get the impression that you thought I was saying your DD SHOULD NOT be included. Not at all, as I had stated in my original post, the teenagers are NOT talking about anything that is inappropriate... no talk of drugs, alcohol, nasty song lyrics (that I find completely inappropriate)..... All I'm saying is that the teenagers WILL be talking about things that 5 year olds either wouldn't understand (as I had originally said in my post... mostly boys!). I wouldn't expect my daughter and her teammates to spend their time talking about things that such young kids would be interested in. My thought was that SOME parents MAY think that the older girls talking about the boys and high school is inappropriate conversation for their little munchkins.

Some of DD's best buddies in the gym are the younger ones. The age range for her team is 9 to 16. They are all a great group of girls together, they all love each other and they do all kinds of outside activities together. These are all good, no, GREAT girls and they are all fantastic together. I have never heard of, nor witnessed, any of the girls being mean to one another. I DO know that the older ones talk about the boys tho, so that was my only point (as I had also mentioned earlier)... they'd be talking about things like that which parents may or may not care if their younger child hears these things.
 
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Thank you for trying to clarify your statement to me. I believe things may have gotten lost or twisted in translation between the several posts. It's often hard to understand somebody over the internet when you cannot hear tone or inflections. I'll try to explain myself a little better.

My original post that you quoted was in reference to the little one not going to the lock in if teenagers were going to be there. I think that is the wrong stance to take on the issue. I do not think it's fair for little girls to be excluded from something they were invited to just because there might be older girls there who could possibly say something that little ones should not hear or may not understand.

You replied that the older girls shouldn't be asked not to talk about certain things as that is tantamount to babysitting. I don't think the girls should be restricted from certain topics, especially not the ones you outlined, as long as they are not inappropriate. I do expect teenage girls to behave properly at a gym function regardless if little ones would be there or not.

My point was that while at a gym function, teenagers should not be having conversations that would be so inappropriate as to exclude younger gymmies to being able to participate. That's just not right. Especially since they were invited originally anyway.

Personally, I've never witnessed any of the older girls saying anything that I would have issues with to or in front of Pixie. I would be 100% comfortable allowing Pixie to stay at a lock in with the bigger girls from her gym. But if they said she shouldn't go so that they could talk about things that she shouldn't hear, I'd have a problem with that.

Does that make better sense to you?
I'm not sure I cleared up anything at all? lol.
I probably just confused you more because I feel like I'm talking in circles. :eek:
 
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I agree it depends on your child. I let my 5 year old stay for a sleepover at the gym this summer during camp. I was so afraid and had no plans of letting her stay all night. We were new to the gym and really did not know them that well. Well DD was so excited about going and it was all she talked about. I told her she could go and i would pick her up around 9 or 10. She told me "mom i am a big girl and i don't need you. I will see you in the morning" I was shocked and a little sad. So i dropped her off just knowing they would be calling me in the middle of the night to come get her. The phone never rang:eek:. I woke up early the next morning and went to the gym to check on her and help her get dressed. She had a great time and told me all of the fun things she did. Since this was during camp week and they had to wake up early the next day the coaches had lights out by 10(which is late for my 5 year old). So they were all rested and ready to start their training that morning. So it taught me a big lesson of listening to my child and giving her a little room to grow. It helps that i talked to the coaches before i left and some of the other moms with older kids and knew they would take good care of her and call me if she needed me. Hope that helps. I would for sure let her go and just see how things go.

Monique
B 5 year old lvl 1 K 3 year old rec
 

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