Parents Parent Observation Policies

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magmom

Proud Parent
I heard a rumor (and that may be all that it is) that our gym was toying with the idea of not allowing parents to watch practice. While I understand why the coaches might not want the parents watching, the idea of not allowing it at all kind of rubs me the wrong way. Not that I watch often, but I want the option of observing on occasion, or at least peeking in.

How would you feel about this? Does anyone have a gym that doesn't allow parent viewing?
 
From what I see on here, it's a mixed bag. Some allow watching anytime, some at certain times, and some never. Personally, not being able to see what's going on, ever, doesn't work for me. It's seems, however, that most people here do not watch, or rarely watch.
 
well, our gym doesn't say you can't watch, but the observation area is a separate room with video monitors for parents. its no where near large enough for everyone to stay so it deters parents from even wanting to watch since the space AND the screens are small.

the coaches are great though about inviting you back every now and then when the gyms not crowded.
 
Please take this in the spirit that it is intended. Watching practice all the time is not good. Now I know that everyone is concerned about the safety and well-being of thier kids - I am too. But, the sooner that you get to the point where you can fully trust your dd's coaches, the better it will be for everyone. Getting to that trust point is critical; it comes from know that the coaches are capable of and will do everything necessary to keep your gymnast safe as they train this tough sport. When we reached that point in time several years ago, it was like a huge weight lifted off our shoulders. And now with her training crazy Lvl 10 skills, there is no way that I want to watch that. It is much more pleasant to see the end product and just be the support system at home.

Good Luck.
 
Here's the thing. I don't watch practice because I don't trust my kid's coaches. I watch because I want to see her when she gets a new skill for the first time, or because sometimes it's the ONLY FLIPPING TIME I SEE HER between work and school and homework and bedtime. Sometimes when she comes over on a break and gives me a kiss and tells me something she did it may be the longest conversation we've been able to have all day. I'm so tired of reading on CB that parents watching practice is bad. DD is 8. She WANTS me to watch her practice. Now, I don't sit and watch practice like a hawk. Heck half the time it's social hour between me and some of the other team moms. Sometimes I'm reading a book. Sometimes I'm chatting on my phone. But DD goes to practice at 3:30, and I get off work at 5 and watch her until 6:30.

That said, I also watch my son's baseball practice, soccer practice, and basketball practices (depending on the season). Again, not because I don't trust his coaches. Sometimes being at practice or at the gym is also the only way I'm going to get communication on what's going on. My kids are 8 - when I ask what they did in school all day I get "stuff" as the answer. And for some reason coaches think telling the kids is a good way to make sure parents get information.

I don't have a problem if parents don't watch, or if my daughter asked me not to. I do have a problem with the gym taking thousands of dollars from me every year telling me I CAN'T watch. If I'm disruptive to practice or getting in the way, then that's different. I guess that's my question for the OP - is your gym doing this to deal with one or two disruptive parents because they're afraid to come down on the ones actually causing an issue? Is there actually an "issue"?
 
I have no problem with gyms limiting viewing time for parents but I would have an issue with a gym that had an across the board strict "no-viewing" policy. And I do feel that limited viewing should be gradually implemented from pre-team up. Frankly, with what dd has been training the past couple years, I don't want to be around watching her! I usually come in the last 15 minutes of practice and they are finishing up on their last event or doing some end of practice stretching. That's about all I can handle at this point... BUT, it there was something going on in the gym and I wasn't feeling comfortable, I would certainly want the option of watching practice for a while to determine if concerns were valid.

A lot of coaches here on CB routinely tell us to trust the coaches, that there is no need to watch - but trust comes from repeated positive encounters. Since actual face to face coach encounters are rare for parents, the only way we can form that trust is to watch - both the coaches and the gymnasts. Sure we can rely on what our gymnast tell us but many posts here and stories elsewhere demonstrate how detrimental that can be. That's why I like policies that allow for more viewing time for the lower and rec levels, gradually discouraging viewing time to only occasional for the upper levels.
 
At our old facility parents couldn't watch. There simply wasn't room. If a parent was particularly worried about anything we allowed them to come in and settle their child, have a look around etc, but they couldn't stay for the entire session.

At our new facility we have a waiting area and parents can watch on a TV screen - most of the time they don't watch, they chat and drink coffee!

Now, if a parent asked to watch inside the gym we wouldn't say no, but we do make it pretty clear that it can't be every session and the ideal place to watch is in the waiting area.

I think you would need to be wary of a club that said NO to any viewing what-so-ever purely from a child protection point of view (but that's another topic)
 
I don't watch all the time. In fact, hardly at all. But it would feel weird to lose the option. The times I do hang out it is more to chat with other parents than to watch. I do love it when I get to see him do a new skill.

To the person who asked if there is an issue... There are a couple of parents who do maybe get a bit too involved, but I don't think the coaches would have any problem confronting them if needed. So, I'm not really sure what the reasoning would be.

Like I said, it's only a rumor. Probably someone overheard something and it rolled from there.
 
DD's gym has a couple of small windows when they allow viewing. Stated reason is overcrowding. They want to make sure the rec families (who are the bread and butter so to speak) have room to park and room to view their children from the observation area. Having team parents hanging around for practices several times a week could easily present an overcrowding problem.

I trust DD's coaches immensely so trust is not an issue for me. For me, my DD is 7 (in the 1st grade) and at that age it means a lot to her if I see her do something... anything!!! So I typically stay for her warm up and stretch then I leave. It doesn't take up too much of my time and it satisfies her desire to have me "watch her do something" :)
 
its a positive, your kids will be fine. :)
I asked on the other thread and did not get an answer. While I agree that the kids will be fine, that is not why I sometimes watch in the first place. What is it you feel negatively comes of parents watching? (I'd love to hear multiple coach opinions.)
 
I trust my daughters coaches, but we are now driving an hour to the gym and an hour back. I just can't come home in between. I tried a few times, not worth it! I have been trying to do errands (not a lot of stores in the area) and kill time on my laptop at a coffee shop, but there are guaranteed to be times when I need to stay at the gym for a bit (rain, snow, budget, etc). But I'm not "watching" the whole time. I am reading or on my phone/iPad and just glancing up when it's her turn here and there. We have a lot of kids, and the time I spend "watching" her is actually really meaningful to her.
 
I asked on the other thread and did not get an answer. While I agree that the kids will be fine, that is not why I sometimes watch in the first place. What is it you feel negatively comes of parents watching? (I'd love to hear multiple coach opinions.)

My top 3 negatives:

Watching too often causes some parents to think their gymmie isn't progressing

Watching too often can sometimes cause the parents to think they know as much as the coach

Watching inside the gym can be a BIG distraction to the gymnast esp if the parent starts coaching from the sidelines.
 
I asked on the other thread and did not get an answer. While I agree that the kids will be fine, that is not why I sometimes watch in the first place. What is it you feel negatively comes of parents watching? (I'd love to hear multiple coach opinions.)
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sorry but not going to stir up a hornets nest. i will only say that an independent child will progress faster and more importantly last longer in this sport. most parents figure this out the hard way, so you have several very experienced coaches and parents here on cb giving you our input. also! sorry everyone for no caps and fragmented sentences, but i am only able to type with one hand for the next couple of weeks due to a surgery i had last thurs. and it takes 4 ever to type now.....
 
My top 3 negatives:

Watching too often causes some parents to think their gymmie isn't progressing

Watching too often can sometimes cause the parents to think they know as much as the coach

Watching inside the gym can be a BIG distraction to the gymnast esp if the parent starts coaching from the sidelines.
uh ohh here we go...
 
I would not be happy with the "no watching" rule. I do not sit in the viewing area ..... DD is at gym right now, and I am at home, as a matter-of-fact. I will come for the last hour of practice today as my preschooler has his class as the same time.
I like the option of watching, though I must say that some parents get pretty competitive. Plus, if I only took DDs account of "what happened at gym", she would be an amazing elite level gymnast who lands every skill, every time! She's all rainbows and happy faces.
 
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sorry but not going to stir up a hornets nest. i will only say that an independent child will progress faster and more importantly last longer in this sport. most parents figure this out the hard way, so you have several very experienced coaches and parents here on cb giving you our input. also! sorry everyone for no caps and fragmented sentences, but i am only able to type with one hand for the next couple of weeks due to a surgery i had last thurs. and it takes 4 ever to type now.....

See, I don't know that my watching has any impact on my children's independence. My dd is 7, she likes it when I watch her. My ds is 10, he could not care less whether I watch him or not. Regardless of whether they care or not, I still go to watch each of them once in a while, FOR ME.

I've learned the hard way that kids develop independence when they are good and ready. Watching them doing sports has little influence on that timing.

Now if you meant to say that children last longer in the sport and do better when parents don't interfere....totally agree.
 
A lot of coaches here on CB routinely tell us to trust the coaches, that there is no need to watch - but trust comes from repeated positive encounters. Since actual face to face coach encounters are rare for parents, the only way we can form that trust is to watch - both the coaches and the gymnasts.

This, this, this. A million times, this. ^^^

And also the points about watching because we just LIKE to see our KIDS do their thing! We don't see them very much otherwise - especially those of us working long hours. Watching my beautiful, growing daughter do a few back handsprings is the highlight of my day after a stressful day full of sometimes empty-feeling work. I just want to bask in her beauty and achievement for a little while! And she is still young (8) and LOVES when I'm able to watch part of her practice.

So, coaches, I will not sit and stare the whole time, nor get in your way, nor steal her attention, nor be noisy, gossipy, or inappropriate - I will respect your boundaries and not interfere* with your coaching. But I am watching my child grow, in little ways every day, and she I and have bonding moments talking about something I saw in some practice (in good ways) - like sharing the excitement of her first kip. I was there that day, and now we have that moment together. I won't have, and don't need, ALL the moments, but you will respect my need - my right - to see and share some.

My DD isn't going to the Olympics (though I'm not telling her that). We are already giving up way more than is probably wise for her passion. I should not also have to give up the capacity to watch my child blossoming in that passion when I'm able and need a moment.

*interfering vs. watching is another thing entirely, and perhaps more at the core of this thread than simply passive observation, imo.
 

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