Parents Picky eater, losing weight

[rosiekat]

Over the last 6 months, DS (8.5) has actually lost a few ounces. He definitely doesn't eat enough, and he's both a picky eater and on ADHD meds. He won't eat things with any kind of combined texture. "Protein bites" don't get touched, even if he picks out the ingredients. And because he's a gymnast, he's always on the move. He does best with grazing. Cold things (smoothies and milkshakes, for example) are occasionally OK, but he won't eat much at a time and so most of it goes to waste. He's mildly lactose intolerant and doesn't like nut butters. Any ideas for me, folks? (And yes, the doctor is also concerned, this isn't just me - and the doubly hard thing here is that my other child is OVERweight and is trying - with doctor supervision - to lose/gain very little. UGH!)

 

[txgymfan]

You are in a tough situation, with kids that have opposite weight/nutritional needs.
No solutions but you have my sympathy.

I've been staying with my parents for a few weeks and my mom has a restricted ( renal) diet but we need to get more calories in her. She has always cooked, but lost her motivation and appetite recovering from illnesses. It's tough to get enough of the right food in her.

 

[LGnyc]

Over the last 6 months, DS (8.5) has actually lost a few ounces. He definitely doesn't eat enough, and he's both a picky eater and on ADHD meds. He won't eat things with any kind of combined texture. "Protein bites" don't get touched, even if he picks out the ingredients. And because he's a gymnast, he's always on the move. He does best with grazing. Cold things (smoothies and milkshakes, for example) are occasionally OK, but he won't eat much at a time and so most of it goes to waste. He's mildly lactose intolerant and doesn't like nut butters. Any ideas for me, folks? (And yes, the doctor is also concerned, this isn't just me - and the doubly hard thing here is that my other child is OVERweight and is trying - with doctor supervision - to lose/gain very little. UGH!)

There's two books I like - same author. One is called Fearless Feeding, on feeding kids from birth thru high school, and it has good chapters and tactics on picky eating. And one of the authors wrote a related book called Eat Like a Champion on feeding kid athletes. Plus you might also want to consult a feeding specialist. I will say that I had one of these - majorly picky, the doctor at one point said he was "failing to thrive," not lactose intolerant but has GERD/reflux, which made everything rough. He's now almost 14 and eating. Not the biggest or healthiest range, but eating and in particular LOTS of protein. So I'm pulling for you and I hope/suspect it will improve with time.

 

[MILgymFAM]

I have one overweight and one underweight so I understand that particular challenge, but I'm lucky in that both of mine will eat pretty much anything. Can you try pureeing things and hiding them in other things the picky eater likes?

 

[Madden3]

I strongly suggest the book My Child Won't Eat by the pediatrician Carlos Gonzalez. Yes it is geared more to very young kids but the overall philosophy and explanations of the science of food intake, genetics and what is "normal" in growth in healthy children are eye-opening and in most cases very reassuring. I did not read this book until my kids were older and found it extremely helpful with navigating food intake concerns for older kids as well. I also have one child we have worried overeats and one that we think does not eat enough- these are my two gymnasts. You can drive both yourself and your child crazy with these concerns and in most cases there is actually no concern unless of course there is an actual illness or other issue messing with appetite, as with txgymfan's mom. Anyway I could go on but I suggest the book, it is cheap and an easy read.

As far as picky, I have learned to feed kids what they will eat in the amounts they will eat it. And no this does not mean my kids eat candy and chips all day, in fact they rarely eat candy or junk food as we do not have it in the house. (Except my secret stash of dark chocolate covered almonds..shhhhh.) What I mean is, if my kid wants a smoothy I let him choose the flavor and give it too him in a small glass and put the rest in the fridge and let him ask for more if he wants it. I avoid making for dinner something I know one of my kids won't eat unless I am happy with them eating something else. If I am shredding zucchini to hide in the taco meat, I peel it first so the dark green skin does not make it obvious. That kind of thing. I try to avoid food confrontations. What I have learned the hard way is to try to avoid pressure, either to eat more or to eat less. Food struggles stress everyone out and rarely help.

 

[cadybearsmommy]

It's very common with ADHD meds. My DS (also 8.5) is started on them a few months ago and yes has dropped a little weight. I keep trying to get calories in him. He likes fruit, but of course it's not very high calorie, so I'll make fruit bowls with bananas, strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream, which adds a little bit to it. He also will munch on string cheese and it's a pretty good source of protein. Sometimes I make high protein muffins for breakfast he loves those. He will munch on those Belvita "breakfast biscuits" as well they have a decent amount of calories and protein, also he loves the squeeze applesauce, and any kind of nuts. At the movies we always get him popcorn with butter lol. Basically I have talked to him and told him that although the meds may not make him feel as hungry, it's still important that he eats well so he can grow. So he will usually at least try for me. And I will be the mean mommy and put my foot down, as in you don't get up from the table until you eat a little more. I don't usually have to do that but I will if I need to. I try to offer snacks throughout the day. If all else fails, maybe he will drink Pediasure or Carnation Instant breakfast? (they make a lactose free version you can mix with lactose free milk.)

Best of luck to you! I know how frustrating it is and my DS isn't a gymnast either (other than rec) so I'm sure it drives you even more nuts worrying if he is getting enough food to fuel his body for practice. I hope things improve soon!

 

[beachgirl]

3 years ago when my underweight son (also on ADHD meds) was going into 7th grade I gave up healthy eating for him in favor of just eating. That summer he started at 60 lbs and at the end of the summer he wanted to go on a zipline on vacation that you had to be 70 lbs to ride alone. For most of the summer for breakfast he had 4 (yes, 4) poptarts and an apple an carnation instant breakfast. At lunch he ate 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, chips, watermelon and a milshake that included a carnation instant breakfast, milk, ice cream and whipped cream, a regular dinner, 2 apples and a pear at night and as much junk food as he wanted. At this point we just wanted him to gain some weight. He started 7th grade at 72 lbs and rode the zipline. He doesn't eat as crazily as he did that summer, but I no longer count the junk he eats and never force the veggies or protein before the junk. I think giving him more freedom has led to him now making wiser choices and eating more. He's slowly gaining. He's starting 10th grade and now weighs 92. He has a goal of 100 by the end of the school year.

 

[rosiekat]

One is called Fearless Feeding, on feeding kids from birth thru high school, and it has good chapters and tactics on picky eating. And one of the authors wrote a related book called Eat Like a Champion on feeding kid athletes.

I strongly suggest the book My Child Won't Eat by the pediatrician Carlos Gonzalez.

I will definitely check these books out. I have Eat Like a Champion and thought it had good info...unfortunately, we can't quite get him to that stage yet, lol.

Sneaking purees etc. into food doesn't work for him. He has such a textural thing about foods that he KNOWS when it's the slightest bit different. But you all have some good ideas, and empathy/sympathy is appreciated, too!

I just came from the grocery store (where they know us practically by name, lol) and had lots of people working to help me find stuff, too. (Definitely emailing their store manager, there were a couple of folks in particular who really went out of their way.) I found lactose-free vanilla ice cream and am going to try using that with some protein shake stuff to make a milkshake for him. I got the deli to cut slabs of ham and turkey (after the lady there researched to find the highest calorie ones for me!) and I'll cube that for finger foods for gym or snacks. There were some of those weight lifter protein bars that were on sale, so I got a couple of those (he tends to like bars). I also got some treats for my daughter (the one trying to lose/not gain) like LaCroix waters that she likes but I don't often get - hoping that as long as she has some treats, too, she won't be too jealous of milkshakes, etc. Thankfully she's relatively mature about stuff like this, and I have enlisted her to help me stay on track, so it might not be an overly huge issue. We shall see!

I'll definitely be trying some of the suggestions you all gave, and more ideas are also welcome! Thank you!

 

[rosiekat]

HAHA, my husband just offered to build a man cave where he and DS can hang out and eat high calorie stuff. He said he'd generously leave the kitchen cabinets and fridge to DD and me to hold our lettuce and apples. Isn't he just the best?

 

[LGnyc]

I will definitely check these books out. I have Eat Like a Champion and thought it had good info...unfortunately, we can't quite get him to that stage yet, lol.

Sneaking purees etc. into food doesn't work for him. He has such a textural thing about foods that he KNOWS when it's the slightest bit different. But you all have some good ideas, and empathy/sympathy is appreciated, too!

I just came from the grocery store (where they know us practically by name, lol) and had lots of people working to help me find stuff, too. (Definitely emailing their store manager, there were a couple of folks in particular who really went out of their way.) I found lactose-free vanilla ice cream and am going to try using that with some protein shake stuff to make a milkshake for him. I got the deli to cut slabs of ham and turkey (after the lady there researched to find the highest calorie ones for me!) and I'll cube that for finger foods for gym or snacks. There were some of those weight lifter protein bars that were on sale, so I got a couple of those (he tends to like bars). I also got some treats for my daughter (the one trying to lose/not gain) like LaCroix waters that she likes but I don't often get - hoping that as long as she has some treats, too, she won't be too jealous of milkshakes, etc. Thankfully she's relatively mature about stuff like this, and I have enlisted her to help me stay on track, so it might not be an overly huge issue. We shall see!

I'll definitely be trying some of the suggestions you all gave, and more ideas are also welcome! Thank you!

Sounds like you are being amazingly creative and pro-active. Good luck with it and keep up updated - particularly if he likes something. The best thing to do continue in that vein - he likes chicken nuggets, then you can get to chicken fingers; and from there to grilled chicken fingers, etc. I found that really helped with my DS. Heck, he discovered pasta because he tried pizza with pasta on top and realized he actually was willing to eat pasta alone.

 

[gymgal]

Has he been to a feeding therapist in the past? If so, I would reach out to her/him again. f not, you may want to seek one out to help with the mixed texture issues. Also a dietician can help in finding ways to add healthy calories to foods - oils, greek yogurt (less likely to cause lactose issues), cream (if he can handle it), any nut butter (putting it in a recipe will hide the taste), mayo if he eats sandwiches, eggs daily if he will eat them. Egg white powder in smoothies, protein power. I would not worry about trying to get veggies in. Yes they are good for nutrients but are too low calorie and you can get the nutrients with a vitamin. Not ideal, but practical.

 

[acam1103]

My son is similar, plus a vegetarian (he chose to stop eating meat three years ago at 7 despite loving meat, because he felt it was wrong). We tried a bunch of protein shakes/drinks and by far his favorite is shakeology from beach body. It's not cheap but he will drink it so we pay for it. Lots of protein and other important nutrients. There's a vegan one that has no dairy.

 

[LLmom]

Have you tried scheduled snacks all day? If he likes to graze...try to make sure every snack is at least two food groups (i.e. A banana and toast or yogurt and granola). Then schedule it all day long...breakfast, then get ready for school, grab a small snack to eat on the way to school. School is tough if they don't have snack breaks, but sometimes you can get permission to do a beverage/juice/protein shake during "milk break." After school snack, during gym snack, car ride home snack, then bedtime snack. Sounds crazy, but ~ 8 snacks of two food groups is about the same as three meals of 4 food groups and two small snacks. If you get creative you can fit all of the needs in ways that he will eat. I like bento boxes for "meals" of various snack things (cheese cubes, pretzels, grapes, etc), and pre-packed snacks that are full of good stuff (think cliff bars or pediasure shakes in place of regular granola bars, etc).

 

[duyetanh]

I would go with lo cal smoothies for one and milkshakes for the other. If this has been mentioned above, I apologize. There are protein shakes everywhere. They must work, because dang.....they are out there.
I have not read the replies, sorry. But I know those carnation drinks can help with wait gain, as can ensure or boost (i think that is the name?).
Honestly, I would just get food IN him. To heck with it being the healthiest. He will adjust. If you have the pressure of the other child nearby, give the goodies in the car on the way to gym so as not to put that pressure on the family. I have no idea how old your two kids are, but if the one watching their weight is younger, that is even harder, because they won't get it. If the child is older, depending on the age, they might at least understand the importance for your son to keep his weight on, and that because he is adhd it is a struggle that is harder to regulate in terms of maintaining weight.

Oh one last thing, they have these new pouches at the stores (believe Wallymart, i hate the place because it is a zoo....so I go in at 6 a.m. when need be)....many peeps know I am an advocate of those applesauce pouches that are apple/cherry, apple/grape, etc.....well they also now have YOGURT ones....and those really rock. Don't need to be refrigerated. My kid loves them. I also craftily asked what the 'other girls' had for snacks both at home and at gym (I too have one I need to feed!) and she said she had tried these Gatorade energy bites and liked them. I went and looked at them and yes they are, imho, a glorified gummy bear in square form, but whatever.....she likes them, they help her, so wth.
Will he eat jerky?

 

[sce]

Be careful with the supplements, i.e. Protein powder and weightlifter bars. They may contain things that should not go into a kids or really anyone's body. Think high fat and high carb for your underweight one. FYI- when my Ds was younger, every summer we'd have swimming lessons and gym, he would clearly lose weight. So I pushed calories, including switching him to whole milk. He is lactose intolerant, so I bought lactose free but it really helped.

My Dd is thin and needs a lot of calories all the time. But she will eat peanut butter. That has been my go to to get extra calories in her. Also, for every growth spurt, she would eat ice cream every day.

I don't have experience with ADHD meds, but is he hungrier in the morning and night, ie before taking his meds and after they wear off? Can you plan to pack in his calories at those times? Also, involve him in the process, buying and making foods. Talk to him about what his body needs to grow and allow him to do gymnastics. Maybe he will be more willing to try things when he understands this more.

 

[mommyof1]

My kid is similar--extremely picky, lots of texture issues, won't eat much at once, "forgets" to eat during the day. We have found dieticians to be of zero help. They don't have any ideas we haven't already tried (no, my kid will not drink Ensure and will not dip her baby carrots in guacamole). They only seem to know about the nutritional content of food, not how to make it appealing to kids or how to deal with texture issues.

We have had some success with the following tactics:
1. Adding butter whenever possible.
2. Deconstructing dishes. For example, my kid will not eat tacos, but she will consume most of the components individually if they are presented separately on a plate.
3. Scooping out the kid's portion of a dish before adding objectionable ingredients such as hot pepper flakes or broccoli. This means that I sometimes need to alter recipes to add certain ingredients at the end instead of before or during cooking.
4. Bribery. I know all the experts say that dessert should not be a reward for eating dinner, kids shouldn't be pressured to eat, and kids won't starve themselves, but clearly none of these experts has ever raised a truly picky eater. Ours is perfectly willing to starve herself, and did so while we were dutifully following the Ellyn Satter method. Nowadays in our house, dessert is occasionally made available to people who have eaten a healthy dinner. (Dessert is not "bad," but it doesn't provide all the nutrients our bodies need to be healthy, so we prioritize dinner and then have some dessert as a treat if there is still room in our tummies.) We don't have dessert every night, but it can be highly effective in motivating our kid to try a new dish or to eat a decent amount of dinner.

 

[notthatmom]

The mixed texture issue is definitely an ADHD thing. I have ADHD, I'm 32, and I still have an aversion to it (literally makes me gag, even if I like the taste). How long has he been on the meds? I know for the first 2 years ago I was NEVER hungry, and I'm already small, so gaining weight, or even keeping a healthy weight was extremely difficult. After a while though my appetite came back.
I would suggest kids protein bars, my DD eats them before gym since she doesn't get out until 9:00, and that's when she eats her dinner.
Milk is good too, so make sure he drinks it with as many meals as possible. Also, do away with empty cereals and have him eat more that are wheat or bran based. He just needs to get his body used to the medication so that his appetite comes back.
Hope that helps at least a little bit!

 

[auswi]

2 of our boys are on ADHD meds ( 12 & 9) and weight loss was initially a real issue. So with the boys I make sure they are up 30 mins earlier so they have time to eat brekky before they have their meds; school lunch is just given so I look like a good Mum as both lads just pick at their lunch boxes ; then after school before they have the 2nd dose of meds they eat a whole heap then a very small dinner.
I've learned to be very unconservative with what they eat- so left over dinner reheated for brekky, really whatever they fancy... within reason ( limited junk food)- so 3 toasted sandwiches for brekky- not a worry!! Same with after school. Their paeds now happy & they've slowly over the last 3 years crept up to being height/weight appropriate.
Also kept the schools fully informed - this was really helpful as master 12 tends to get grumpy at school ( a hangry kid) but just can't eat so I've arranged with school that he has a supply of liquid breakfast boxes & breakfast biscuits which he can occasionally get down if he has to.
Good luck OP- what helped with us too was being upfront with the boys ( at age appropriate level) & getting their input.

 

[Pea'sMom]

Similar story here. ADHD meds, and already skinny kid, and picky. What works best for us is similar to @auswi Pea has a big breakfast of choice before meds are given plus a smoothie with protein powder added (her current favorite is banana, peanut butter with chocolate protein powder.) I also have her pack her own lunch (which usually isn't eaten at school but tends to become an after school snack) so it's stuff she likes. She's in a longer day school (8:20-4:05) so snack is built into their day. Her teachers and school nurse are aware of what's going on, and her teacher will gently remind her to take her snack out, which she will pick at.) Meds are wearing off before she gets home so she comes home famished. We try and focus on high protien/calorie/fat foods. She loves hard boiled eggs, grilled chicken strips with sauce to dip, small guacamole cups (frozen and defrost during gym) with chips, sunflower seeds, peanut butter on a crackers with a slice of banana. She does love fruits/veggies, but while they are great with nutrients, are very low in calories. We try and add olive oil to any veggie she eats!

 

[4schnoodle]

Pediasure make a shake powder specially for weight gain (see photo for details). I think you mix it with milk, but you could probably blend it with frozen yogurt for extra calories. If lactose issues prevent that, you could use almond milk or cashew milk instead. Side note: I've never tried this so I have no idea how it tastes. Also - try a local nutrition store. They have lots of powders for weight loss, muscle gain, etc. They might have a "bulk up" formula that's decent.