Parents Pre-team Invite and Decisions

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AV24

Proud Parent
After much research and reflection, I scheduled an evaluation for my DD at a fantastic gym which is not too far from us. They have a really positive coaching style that I think will fit very well with her personality. At the same time, they don't mess around, and that is what she needs. The girls who were training all looked so happy to be there, and they have a very strong program at all levels.

I really just called to get my questions answered about the team program in general, but the coach went ahead and asked her to come practice with the pre-team girls one day. My DD was nervous in the beginning, and she really wasn't used to the conditioning. I think she spent most of the first 15-20 minutes very frustrated, and I just knew it wasn't going to work out. However, she really blossomed when they moved to bars (her favorite), and she appeared happy and confident from then on.

When the class ended, the coach told me that she thought my DD would be a great fit with their pre-team class. She is welcome to join, but we need to figure out if she likes it since it is more intense than rec, and I know she needs the extra conditioning. :) I wasn't positive at that moment, and she told me that I could bring her 2-3 times before making a decision.

DD told me she had fun and liked the class, but she also doesn't want to leave her friends at her current gym. I explained to her that she was about to be moved to the next rec level at that gym (true), so she would be with a new group of friends anyway. That isn't the issue, because I know she can adjust to making new friends easily. The problem is that this new gym doesn't have a boys rec program, and my 9 year old son LOVES gymnastics right now. I highly doubt he will ever compete (and that is putting it nicely), but he loves the exercise and how they challenge him in our current gym. So if I let her join the new gym, I'll still be driving to the old gym for my son as well.

Do you think I can keep my daughter in a rec class at the old gym if she joins the pre-team at the new gym, or is that a conflict of interest? I thought maybe I could switch her to a tumbling class, so she doesn't have to just sit and watch her brother, but I don't want to cause a problem for anyone. The old gym does see potential in her, but I get the impression that it could be awhile if they ever even decide to take her. It is just so competitive. All the little girls on what appears to be their pre-team already looked ripped with abs and crazy shoulder muscles (5-6 year olds). And besides that, the more I have paid attention, the more I realized that their compulsory coach never cracks a smile or offers praise, and my DD just responds to praise so well. I think she would come to dislike it in time. Even though the rec coaches are SO amazing and encouraging, that is not who she would be spending all of her time with if she ever joined the team there. I really appreciate the feedback I got through this forum, because it helped me to understand what to look for in a gym to make sure it is the right fit for MY kid.

So...I'm beyond thrilled that she was given a chance at the new gym, and I'm hoping that she adjusts to the longer practice and conditioning levels without too much fuss. Has anyone else had to take their kids to two gyms? Was it weird? I mean, neither one of mine is competing yet, and one probably never will.

Also, is pre-team generally considered a part of the team with booster responsibilities, or is more like an invite-only advanced rec class? I have the pre-team Coach's phone number to call her with any questions I have, but I wanted to feel out this group before I call to make sure I know exactly what I want to ask. Thanks for your help!
 
I worked for a rec gym/dance studio. My DD outgrew the rec gym program by the time she was 5 1/2. She was also a part of the competitive dance team. We decided to move her to the only competitive gym in town. My boss and the other gym's owners used to be in business together and we will say that the split was less than amicable. I continued to work at the rec gym for 2 1/2 years and DD stayed on the dance team for another season before she had to choose one or the other. It was uncomfortable at first, but eventually, everything smoothed over. It has been my experience that honesty is the best policy. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. DD had her evaluation at our new gym and was offered a place on their TOPS team. I was upfront with her coaches and my boss. They may not have liked it, but we were fortunate enough for both parties to accept the situation. It's not uncommon for gyms to react the opposite way so be prepared for them to ask you to leave. As for preteam obligations, they will vary from program to program. Our booster club is optional, but we extend membership to the parents of the girls on preteam. In our gym, preteam girls are members of the team and work with the same coaches as our optional girls. Congrats to your DD!
 
My opinion is pick one gym or the other for your DD. We have kids on our team who have siblings training in other gyms but each gymnast only trains at their own gym....no double dipping. Your DD could use the time to catch up on homework, read, just sit and talk to you about whatever....

The new gym sounds really great and it is obvious that you are going into this with a level head and eyes wide open. It really says a lot about you that you are being so thoughtful and methodical about choosing the best gym for EACH of your children.
 
Awwww, shucks. (blushes) Thanks!!:rolleyes:

Both of those replies are great advice!! That's exactly why I posted. I knew there were plenty of BTDT parents who could tell me how things might play out. I like knowing what to expect.
 
That is a dilemma having no boys rec at new gym - what a bummer! It's so hard to predict how a gym might react if you switch one of your kids to a competitor gym. They could be utterly pleasant, or, worst case, they hold some grudge against you that somehow affects your son. Would hate to think adults would do such a thing, but I've read so many stories on here of 'bad blood' after switching gyms. Hard to believe, but, yet, the stories keep coming.

I also have a DD and DS (same gym, on team), and if I wanted to switch just one of them to a competitor gym, I am sure coaches' (maybe even owner's) feelings would probably really be hurt. I just know the friendly relationship I have with the coaches now would be strained. It would feel weird, at best. With your son just in rec, hopefully this wouldn't be so much the case....

Sounds like you really should make the switch for your DD if you believe she has potential that likely isn't going to be realized in the current uber-competitive-too-serious-for-her gym. I would personally not do the tumbling or other rec class at old gym for your DD, too, though. Weirdness aside, different coaching technique, progressions, pace of learning, etc., could cause some cross-confusion. She might learn tumbling, for example, with less than stellar form, then want to do it in pre-team and feel frustrated that Gym2 won't let her yet, etc. Or drills can be different and that could be confusing (not sure of her age). I'd just stick with one gym for her - one set of techniques and progressions.

If you do switch, how do you think you'll explain to your current gym?
 
She is 6. Will be 7 next month. We have rec class this Tuesday, so I was going to try to pull her coach aside and explain the situation. She knows my daughter wants to compete, and she has been so great with her!! Unfortunately, she is not the one who makes that decision. It was explained to me that pretty soon at our current gym, the team coaches will be hanging around the rec classes to try and scout out the ones ready for team. It's not completely off base that they might evaluate her, but I'm just starting to feel in my gut that even if they do, it's just probably not the best path for my girl. I'm fairly confident that they would tell me she needs another year to mature, but who knows? Even so...I would be so sad if she grew to dislike her only passion just because I picked a gym with a harsh coaching style. She needs praise and encouragement. It's clearly her love language (if you've read those books).

I hear what you are saying about the tumbling class. It sounds like we would be flirting with disaster. I'll suck it up and make a clean break. I am positive there will be no issues for my son. His coach is a younger guy whom I have never spoken with once. He doesn't come out of the gym after class is over...ever. I am confident he has no idea my son has a sister or that she would be at a different gym. But if something happens, I'll keep looking around for somewhere else he can go. I don't want to switch him now because he does not adapt to change well, and he is happy with his class, so that is a very big deal.

Should I let her try the new pre-team a couple more times before I tell the current gym she is leaving - just to really make sure?
 
That's good your son isn't likely to feel any negative effects - that should make your decision much easier. Whew. And sounds like it can't hurt to let your daughter try the new pre-team at least once more. Not every kid likes the increased rigor (especially conditioning), though it sounds like yours likely will. Almost 7 is a perfect time to be doing pre-team, so it really does sound like now is the time to make the switch once you know for sure she likes it.

Good luck and good for you for following those parental instincts!! :)
 
If the new gym is okay with trying a few more times then I would do that. Give your daughter more time to feel comfortable there before the switch.
 

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