Parents Question about friendships

[LTmom]

I hope this isn’t a very dumb question.

I’ve been reading here, and “absorbing” from being at the gym.

It seems that, due to different rates of progress throughout the years, and due to rate of attrition in this sport, you can’t really expect your girl to make “lifelong friends” at the gym. Whoever is in your daughter’s level now may be 4 levels ahead in a couple years, she may move to a different gym, she may move to xcel, altogether quit gym, be asked to leave the program, be moved to a different group next week.....

Is that correct?

 

[raenndrops]

At a lot of gyms, especially those that don't have multiple levels practice together and gyms that draw from several school districts, yes it is probably true.
At our gym, the entire team practices together (L3-L8/9 and XG-XP). Of the girls that were the same level as YG when she started, one is a L8, one is a rec coach, one is XP (with YG), one is a High School gymnast (that practices in the group with L6-8 and XP), 4 have graduated, and 12 have moved on to other pursuits ... but YG is only in 8th grade and from a different school district and of the 12 that moved on, 9 are in 11th or 12 grade.
It may seem hard, but they can keep friends if they BOTH think it is worth it.

 

[Aussie_coach]

Our kids seem to always make lifelong friendships. They get so close from training together and then have a bond that carries on even if they stop the sport.

 

[Freddy's Fred]

I hope this isn’t a very dumb question.

I’ve been reading here, and “absorbing” from being at the gym.

It seems that, due to different rates of progress throughout the years, and due to rate of attrition in this sport, you can’t really expect your girl to make “lifelong friends” at the gym. Whoever is in your daughter’s level now may be 4 levels ahead in a couple years, she may move to a different gym, she may move to xcel, altogether quit gym, be asked to leave the program, be moved to a different group next week.....

Is that correct?

Often that is the case, but one of my daughters has been with her bestie for 8 years through two different gym changes and stints at different levels. They are back at the same level together this year.

 

[John]

My DD has 2 gym friends she would rather see than anyone. She has been with one for 5 years two gyms. They were separated for 1.5 years but always hung out. The other was from and is still at the old gym, they have a standing Saturday play date. If you as a parent foster the relationships they can last. With that said there have been many gym friends that have come and gone. Sometimes the training groups work out if your gym trains levels together. DD is training 8 some days her group includes the 7's and other the 6's and other days she trains with the 9 and 10's. Everything about gymnastics is shake my head.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Life long friends. The answer to that lies 20, 30, 40 or 50 yrs down the road. And much more to do with many more circumstances then an activity/sport now. And as kids who don’t drive, it requires the effort of parents to help keep the connections.

In our 50s, I have 2 friends from elementary school. My husbands life long friends are 2 from college, he moved a big distance from his childhood home in his early teens.

Many things are factors in who comes and goes in our lives

 

[Deleted member 18037]

To add, my daughter has many friends. I can see perhaps 3 turning into life long.

 

[MuggleMom]

WE have maintained friendships with those who are at different levels and in different practice groups and some who left the gym--it depends on who is willing to put in the effort like with any friendship. Also the same factors that could "prevent" lifelong friends in gym you encounter in school and other sports (people move, kids end up in different classes, you make a team that your friend doesn't etc)

I agree with the above there are a lot of factors that go into lifelong friends. Most of my lifelong friends I met in college, one or two in high school and I am no longer close with anyone I met in elementary school. You have the friendships you need at the point in your life you need them and if they become lifelong so much the better but if not it doesn't make them any less meaningful for the time they are in your life.

 

[raenndrops]

WE have maintained friendships with those who are at different levels and in different practice groups and some who left the gym--it depends on who is willing to put in the effort like with any friendship. Also the same factors that could "prevent" lifelong friends in gym you encounter in school and other sports (people move, kids end up in different classes, you make a team that your friend doesn't etc)

I agree with the above there are a lot of factors that go into lifelong friends. Most of my lifelong friends I met in college, one or two in high school and I am no longer close with anyone I met in elementary school. You have the friendships you need at the point in your life you need them and if they become lifelong so much the better but if not it doesn't make them any less meaningful for the time they are in your life.

I had gone to 10 schools by the time I was 10 years old. One of my best friends is a girl I met the spring of my 3rd grade year (she still lives in the same house she lived in when we met - it was her wedding present from her parents). Another friend, I met when I was in 8th grade ... this friendship survived her moving multiple times between then and high school graduation and her having no way of contacting me to let me know. We always ended up finding each other even though she was in another town. My other lifelong friends, I met in college.

 

[JMACAZ]

ODD "retired" last season as an 8th grader. Started as an 8 year old 3rd grader. Still has her BFF from when she started. They are now in HS and BFF is still doing gym. YDD now 12 has a BFF from when she started gym at 6. They are both now in T&T. I am guessing they all will still be in contact years from now....

 

[gymgal]

This really is variable but in general, if a friendship is meant to last, then it will - across whatever life puts in its way. DD has watched many of her friends leave the gym for other interests and for college. She is still in touch with them. They make plans to meet up periodically and "chat" often through social media.

 

[beachgirl]

My daughter and her best friend both switched to different gyms in different cities 3.5 years ago when they were 10 years old. Her friend skipped L6 and my daughter competed it, so they haven't been the same level for several years. This year her best friend is repeating L9, so they will be in the same level together again. Although they don't go to the same gym, they still have shared interests and values and this helps to bond them.

 

[ProudDad]

I hope this isn’t a very dumb question.

I’ve been reading here, and “absorbing” from being at the gym.

It seems that, due to different rates of progress throughout the years, and due to rate of attrition in this sport, you can’t really expect your girl to make “lifelong friends” at the gym. Whoever is in your daughter’s level now may be 4 levels ahead in a couple years, she may move to a different gym, she may move to xcel, altogether quit gym, be asked to leave the program, be moved to a different group next week.....

Is that correct?

Most of the other posts cover it, but I'd say there is a difference between teammates that you grow closer to than others, and someone who is a forever friend. We have moved over 1200mi and both of DDs closest friends have both retired, one a year before we moved and the other since moving (and they ended up in different levels early on), but they still talk and video chat with each other nearly every day. I'd say the coolest thing about this sport is that it is an age neutralizer... they will gravitate toward like people, DDs best friends are both in high school and she just started 6th grade. I know I don't worry about the topics they talk about because I know them and their families - and she has it on speaker all the time. Real friendships transcend the gymnastics stuff and go much deeper; whereas teammates support and encourage each other when they are together, but don't really seek anything outside of gym time.