Parents Question About Private Lessons

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Malenkaya

Proud Parent
DD will be 6 in a couple months. She didn't start gymnastics until 4 1/2. She did the preschool class for about a year and she has been in the kindergarten class for about 9 months now. The school she attends has a special format for kids who are heavily involved in extra curriculars and I didn't realize it until she started last fall, but a lot of the team girls attend there.

DD is obsessed with making the team. She has her class twice a week and takes a weekly ballet/tap at a nearby dance studio. (Ironically her dance teacher's daughter also attends the same school as DD, and she is on the gymnastics team as well.)

She was diagnosed with ADHD about a month ago. She started medication and we saw immediate improvement at school. What I didn't expect was to see as much improvement in the gym. She is much more focused and is learning and improving quickly.

I feel that because she's been in the gym for the last year and a half and she's just been cruising along, doing fine, but nothing special, so she will never be considered for the team track. At the end of last week I spoke to the person at the front desk, who is supposed to be passing on a message for me about the possibility of private lessons to the director. I didn't even know who that was until yesterday. Fortunately it's a coach who was one of DD's first coaches and I know she's very fond of her (meaning the coach is fond of DD and vice versa). I'm just wondering the best way to approach it when she calls. My thought was that if she could take private lessons this summer instead of her regular rec class it would maybe give DD a better idea of the training required to make the team, and it would give us all an opportunity to see if DD truly has the drive, desire and talent required to even reach a point to try out for the team.

What would you tell/ask the coach when she calls?
 
My daughter is a little younger but team is her goal too. Her coach knows that she wants to make team (they actually just had evaluations) and when we talked about privates (she did one last month) she told us that they aren't something she needs at this point but if its what we want (dd had been asking to do them) we definately could. I'm sure your daughter's coach will point you in the right direction. We have been thinking of privates instead of rec classes this summer if she doesn't make a team too but are worried that might but her too far ahead of appropiate skills for her age for the fall then.
 
A lot of gyms will not let you do privates INSTEAD of rec classes. They prefer those doing privates do them in ADDITION to their other classes.

I agree though that you should let the coach know she is interested in the team track and find out what you can do to help her get there (Privates, extra classes, etc).
 
I would ask if they have a pre-team. DD's gym mainly gets their team girls from their pre-team (also called "hot shots") unless they come from other gyms. DD moved to pre-team at 4 1/2 from a preschool class and moved to team at 6 1/2. The teacher she had for preschool was one of the team coaches. When I said that I needed to switch DD to an afternoon class, she invited her to the pre-team tryout.
 
Thanks for the suggestions. They have a pre-team, I have a friend whose daughter was pulled from the kindergarten class several months ago for that group, they call them the Dynamites. They have since moved her up to the next level. I seem to recall them making the moves around the end of the summer, which is why I thought maybe if she had private lessons this summer, if she made enough progress she might be able to join that track in the fall. The location we are at trains JO, up to the elite level. They have another location not too far away that trains Xcel, which I know nothing about. Would it be easier to get her into the Xcel program? I am not looking for the Olympics, college gymnastics and all that. She wants to be part of a team and compete, doesn't matter to me if it's JO or not.
 
I would not do privates at that age. She should be getting everything she needs in class. Hmmm. If you can afford it, privates are great, but, I would look at the program as a whole.

It's because of the ADHD. Her lack of focus I think has kept her from learning as much as she could have. We have seen a difference in school and I'm now seeing it in the gym. I'm afraid she might just get passed over once she hits the 6 and over group (which is the rec class following kindergarten) where they go from a group of about 6 to what looks to be about 18 girls of various ages. The pre team groups I've seen are good sized but the rec classes for the older girls look like cattle calls.
 
I am not quite following how privates would get her ready for a team environment. Preteam is generally where they build the skills to move to team. At DD's gym, the coaches look for strength, flexibility, and a coach-able attitude to select kids for preteam, not skills. I'd suggest talking to the people who run the team and seeing what they are looking for. This will also let them know your daughter is interested in preteam.
 
I agree with others....find out what they are looking for in team, but I don't think privates are necessary at this stage. Possibly, if she really likes it, sign her up for two weekly classes.
 
It's because of the ADHD. Her lack of focus I think has kept her from learning as much as she could have. We have seen a difference in school and I'm now seeing it in the gym. I'm afraid she might just get passed over once she hits the 6 and over group (which is the rec class following kindergarten) where they go from a group of about 6 to what looks to be about 18 girls of various ages. The pre team groups I've seen are good sized but the rec classes for the older girls look like cattle calls.
As the parent of an ADHD gymnast, she would probably benefit more from tutoring teaching her coping skills than private lessons (and quiet possibly cheaper than privates too).

Our DD is lucky in having a Daddy who is also ADHD and a former athlete who can help her with these skills. And we also have a coach who understand ADHD well.

One thing to learn is that ADHD will bring a high level of frustration to both children and coaches and the younger you can teach your child how to 'deal' with the slowness of all us non-ADHD people, the better off she will be. Because to those with ADHD the rest of the world is several speeds to slow.
 
Thanks for the suggestions. They have a pre-team, I have a friend whose daughter was pulled from the kindergarten class several months ago for that group, they call them the Dynamites. They have since moved her up to the next level. I seem to recall them making the moves around the end of the summer, which is why I thought maybe if she had private lessons this summer, if she made enough progress she might be able to join that track in the fall. The location we are at trains JO, up to the elite level. They have another location not too far away that trains Xcel, which I know nothing about. Would it be easier to get her into the Xcel program? I am not looking for the Olympics, college gymnastics and all that. She wants to be part of a team and compete, doesn't matter to me if it's JO or not.
In most gyms, it would be easier to get onto the Xcel team. You may want to ask about that too. The benefit of Xcel is that she would not be doing the same routine as every other girl in her level... even if the gym only does 1 routine for all of their Bronze gymnasts, they can change out the tumbling passes or leap series to fit each girl. Also, sometimes gymnasts with ADHD (and related focus problems) have difficulties in remembering the exact hand and foot placements in the new JO Compulsory routines. We are dealing with this with YG... her SKILLS have improves since last season, but her floor score hasn't gone up much because of all the different dance-y and posing things in the routines now. In JO, the judges judge based on what they are SUPPOSED to be seeing (perfection has been established). In Xcel, they are judging what they see... if she messed up and did a tuck jump instead of a straight jump (even if all the girls from her team had the same music and did the straight jump before her), they can't deduct for a "wrong" jump. As long as she does all of the requirements of the routine, her fluff between can be her own. Good luck.
 
I personally think she's way too young and inexperienced to decide she has to go the XCel route. Of course, if you decide she would be better off in XCel, that's fine, but I don't think she necessarily needs to be "tracked" into XCel yet.
 
I am not quite following how privates would get her ready for a team environment. Preteam is generally where they build the skills to move to team. At DD's gym, the coaches look for strength, flexibility, and a coach-able attitude to select kids for preteam, not skills. I'd suggest talking to the people who run the team and seeing what they are looking for. This will also let them know your daughter is interested in preteam.

And that's why I'm here asking. I just feel like she's trailing behind in the gym the way she trails behind in school because of her ADHD. She went through 75% of her first year of school just barely holding on by the skin of her teeth. She gets good grades but that's because she gets one on one tutoring from her teacher to help her focus and do what she needs to do. Now that she's medicated she's catching up quickly and doing much better in school. I'm probably comparing apples and oranges (actually I'm sure of it) but I see similar things in the gym. When she has the coach's attention she does quite well, but when she's on her own it's like a coin toss. And I'm talking about the same skills. When she's by herself the handstand is kind of meh, but when the coach is giving her personal attention (not even necessarily helping, just there with her) it's so much better. Does that make any sense? Maybe it's not the ADHD....maybe it's just because she always wants to be the center of attention, LOL. I guess I feel that private lessons would mean the one on one time would help her get better at the skills faster. Not specifically to be ready to be on the team, but to get the best of out her during her time in the gym. I would think most kids would benefit from that, and I would think that would also show them that we are committed to making this happen for her, if at all possible.

I agree with others....find out what they are looking for in team, but I don't think privates are necessary at this stage. Possibly, if she really likes it, sign her up for two weekly classes.

She is already there twice a week. After her very first class she asked to go in and do it again so I put her on the wait list for a second class. So she's been in two classes a week since Sept 2012. Which is why I was thinking private lessons....because I don't think three times a week is an option. I suppose I could ask.

As the parent of an ADHD gymnast, she would probably benefit more from tutoring teaching her coping skills than private lessons (and quiet possibly cheaper than privates too).

Our DD is lucky in having a Daddy who is also ADHD and a former athlete who can help her with these skills. And we also have a coach who understand ADHD well.

One thing to learn is that ADHD will bring a high level of frustration to both children and coaches and the younger you can teach your child how to 'deal' with the slowness of all us non-ADHD people, the better off she will be. Because to those with ADHD the rest of the world is several speeds to slow.

She was diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist who said that kids were were medicated and in therapy did no better than kids that were just medicated. I would love any information I can take back to the doctor that might help her get some sort of tutoring/therapy that would help her in this regard. She's not overly hyper, it's all about focus. To watch her when she was unemedicated you probably wouldn't notice anything different about her. She didn't have problems waiting her turn or sitting still when she is with a group of kids in a class setting.


I personally think she's way too young and inexperienced to decide she has to go the XCel route. Of course, if you decide she would be better off in XCel, that's fine, but I don't think she necessarily needs to be "tracked" into XCel yet.

Thank you, I agree. I just want to be aware of all options open to her. The Xcel team is at a different location and I didn't even realize they offered it until I looked on their website and happened to click on the other location. The JO team trains where her classes are.

I could be totally off base, but I guess I just see once she turns 6 (in May) and they bump her into the 6 and over category, any girl they haven't already been looking at for team might just get passed over. The team thing is so secretive, even my friend whose daughter is in the 2nd invitational level on her way to team doesn't really get how it all works.
 
She was diagnosed by a pediatric neurologist who said that kids were were medicated and in therapy did no better than kids that were just medicated. I would love any information I can take back to the doctor that might help her get some sort of tutoring/therapy that would help her in this regard. She's not overly hyper, it's all about focus. To watch her when she was unemedicated you probably wouldn't notice anything different about her. She didn't have problems waiting her turn or sitting still when she is with a group of kids in a class setting.


.

That is very interesting since the only reason our doctor didn't recommend therapy for our children was because they had a severely ADHD parent who could help them with coping skills. ADHD isn't just about controlling the fidgeting. Kids with ADD/ADHD can have social issues, because their brains are moving to fast to pick up the social cues, and even with medication still have distraction issues. One puberty starts (which we are experiencing with DS) the frustration can lead to emotional outbursts and anger.

I will tell you some of the things that I have learned as a parent and wife of family members with ADHD. Whatever you tell your DD to focus on will become the very last thing that she can. Telling someone with ADD/ADHD to focus is telling them do the impossible. Instead in our house, music is playing in the background constantly. We tell our kids to focus on the music and that allows them to free their minds to actual be able to do homework. I honestly don't know how it works because I am not ADHD, but I know it works for our family. Basically sensory overload. My husband describes it as overloading his brain so that there is so much to process that it basically shuts down and allows him to focus on the one thing he needs too.

So for instance last night, DD was on beam and totally distracted by the cheerleaders counting out their routines at the top of their lungs, then a girl fell out of a stunt, so DH talked to her about feeling the beam, feel everything about it, the texture, the shape, all of that. It overloads her senses and brain enough that she can then focus on what she is actually doing and block out the cheerleaders.

Feel free to PM me and we can discuss further. I am not means an expert, but I am more than willing to share my 17 years of experience (how long DH and I have been together).
 
Telling someone with ADD/ADHD to focus is telling them do the impossible. Instead in our house, music is playing in the background constantly. We tell our kids to focus on the music and that allows them to free their minds to actual be able to do homework. I honestly don't know how it works because I am not ADHD, but I know it works for our family. Basically sensory overload. My husband describes it as overloading his brain so that there is so much to process that it basically shuts down and allows him to focus on the one thing he needs too.

So for instance last night, DD was on beam and totally distracted by the cheerleaders counting out their routines at the top of their lungs, then a girl fell out of a stunt, so DH talked to her about feeling the beam, feel everything about it, the texture, the shape, all of that. It overloads her senses and brain enough that she can then focus on what she is actually doing and block out the cheerleaders.

Feel free to PM me and we can discuss further. I am not means an expert, but I am more than willing to share my 17 years of experience (how long DH and I have been together).

I agree... I have been ADHD since a very young age. I was ONLY medicated (accidentally) for 18 months in 7th-8th grade... of course I am in my 40s and they just called it hyperactive or high strung when I was younger. The medicating came when a quack of a doctor tried to help me lose weight without doing a h&p first - I was actively involved in multiple sports... spent much of the time outside when I was home... didn't need to be on speed :oops:

I, too, need sensory overload to focus. My bedroom TV is about 17 feet behind me... and ON... it is on most of the day. If my brother shuts it off (which he will do on occasion because "you're not watching it"), I have to go turn it back on or I can't concentrate. I also tend to have 3-4 things going on at once... so I can switch if needed. Example (right now): tv is on... iTunes is playing... I am typing this... I have facebook up so I can play a game when I am done with this... and I have taxes to work on if I get tired of this and run out of lives. If my card table was cleared off, I would also have a puzzle out to work on. :)
 
I haven't even read the responses but this phrase cracks me up every time I see it "DD will be 6 in a couple months. She didn't start gymnastics until 4 1/2."

as if 4.5 was just ancient LOL. My DD was nearly 8 when she started. I can only imagine how old that must look to some.
 
When she has the coach's attention she does quite well, but when she's on her own it's like a coin toss. And I'm talking about the same skills. When she's by herself the handstand is kind of meh, but when the coach is giving her personal attention (not even necessarily helping, just there with her) it's so much better.

At 6 years old, this is true of many, if not most, kids in gym that I observe (including my own)! Perhaps the ADHD pronounces this (I'm no expert here), but just that statement alone is well within the boundaries of very normal 6 y/o gymnast behavior. Rarely are drills as nice in form as when the coach is assisting or pointedly watching :rolleyes:

I really doubt privates are going to help your DD at this level (pre-pre-team). Conditioning, strength, flexibility, and basic body shapes and first skills (handstands, rolls, cartwheels) - and REPETITION of all of the above ad nauseum are the building blocks of a pre-team to entry level team gymmie. Once they have the strength and basic forms, they can build skills off of those. Privates are good when there is a specific skill a gymmie just can't 'get' (like a round-off, or a front hip circle on bars), despite the repeated in-class practices and spotting. The form and consistency of these skills, however, come from the hours upon hours of in-class time, along with physical and mental maturity over time, not privates.

My 2 cents. Cheers!
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I haven't even read the responses but this phrase cracks me up every time I see it "DD will be 6 in a couple months. She didn't start gymnastics until 4 1/2."

as if 4.5 was just ancient LOL. My DD was nearly 8 when she started. I can only imagine how old that must look to some.

Well, when she started in the preschool group at 4 1/2 she was with a bunch of 3 year olds. And I'm constantly reading about 4 year olds already in a pre-team group so it makes me feel like she started late.
 
Well, when she started in the preschool group at 4 1/2 she was with a bunch of 3 year olds. And I'm constantly reading about 4 year olds already in a pre-team group so it makes me feel like she started late.

Just for perspective, my DDs best friend started gym a little less than two years ago, at 11, and is now competing usag level 6 and IGC silver..gymnasts come from all backgrounds and start at lots of ages.
 

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