Off Topic Question for parents re personality and introversion

[MILgymFAM]

Ok, so the scenario is thus. Younger DD (10) really has no interest in playing with her friends. She makes friends, and enjoys her time with them at school, on the bus, etc, but at home she expresses zero interest in going to their houses or having them to ours. Between both my girls, we are all three gone to gym on Monday (after school till bedtime), Tuesday (after dinner till bedtime), Wednesday (from school till dinner time), Thursday (after school till dinner time), Friday (after school till bedtime), and Saturday (from 10-3).. I am actively working, over the next couple of months, to adjusting their schedules so that we at least have all of Saturday and all of Sunday free- at least until competitions start in late January. I am just not sure if she is just burnt on never being home, and therefore just prefers her books to people when she gets the chance, if it's just a part of her being introverted, or if I should be worried about her lack of deeper friendships at this new duty station. Before she started gymnastics,two duty stations ago, she played with other little kids all the time. Now when pressed, she said her friends always want to do boring stuff.i think she prefers gymnastic friends because they have more in common, but her gym is so far away that there won't be any play dates from there. What do you think, worry or just go with it? Any questions welcome.

 

[txgymfan]

As an introvert, if I had a schedule like that as a kid I would not want time at home with friends either. Friends are great but crowds drain me and if I don't get a certain amount of alone time I will sacrifice sleep or anything else to get it. Even as an adult, I typically use one weekend day to get together with friends and the other day alone.

 

[Iwannabemargo]

My 3 are all different, but very rarely "play" with friends. Even the 16 year old is much happier with his brother and sister. We are just a very tight family unit and do things as a family. Mind you I was like that with my parents.

 

[MILgymFAM]

Thanks guys, that makes me feel better. I am an introvert myself but little DD is hard to classify as she is known to live life to 150% enthusiasm. I am always worried because people always say that this military lifestyle is rough in kids. I haven't seen that personally but am always on watch for problems, should they start.

 

[skschlag]

My oldest is very very introverted. He does not like to have friends over, or go to friends' houses but maybe 1 time a month. And when he does, it takes time to recover. She is basically around people and friends a lot of the day, and probably realizes that to charge her batteries, she needs to be alone.

 

[Rockygym]

There is nothing pathologic about being an introvert I have mentioned before, I was a military brat, moving every 3 years until high school and yes it is hard on you during the process, but I think it gave me many great things in return - resilency with change and a more complete "world" awareness.

 

[All Chalked Up]

I know this is a question for parents... but your daughter's personality fits mine to a T. I think this kind of personality is found fairly often in gymnasts... this sport and this personality (quiet, focused & independent are traits that come to mind) meshes well together. I also feel as if kids of this personality may be mentally more mature- I know I was at age 10, and had little interest in playing with other 10 year olds because I found them to be immature. Could be the case.

 

[emilykatherine]

I don't like having friends over... Except my best friend who lives down the street I see her more than my mom

 

[Flossyduck]

I wouldn't worry about it, but I do know how you feel. You could have described my dd perfectly. She enjoys being with her school friends, when she's at school, and she seems to get along with kids very well when she's amongst them. She just seems to find it a bit stressful having them around to play. I think she worries about what they will want to do. She is quite happy reading a book or chilling in her room in the small amount of free time she has, rather than trying to keep friends happy.
I used to worry about it and make effort to get her friends round, but now I let her be the guide and she seems fine.

 

[Tbrov]

Mom of gymnast introvert here. DD enjoys her time at home alone. She has very close friends at gym, and she spends a lot of time with them there. But she needs her downtime. I've learned to follow her lead and leave her alone. Sometimes she likes to hang out with her friends, and it's become more so as she gets older (she's almost 15) but she still needs a lot of alone time to stay cheerful and even keeled.

 

[txgymfan]

Also, when spending time with friends us introverts like to do it one-on-one or small groups.

 

[MaryA]

My non-gymnast DD is like this. They go to a charter school that has students from a number of different districts so she doesn't really have friends in the neighborhood. She has friends at school and at dance, but rarely seems to want to get together with them on weekends. This year we have an exchange student staying with us and the two of them have really bonded, which is great, but now she has even less inclination to make plans with anyone else...