Parents Quitting because of nerves?

[GymMom033]

DD age 10 is training to repeat L4 this year. This year she moved from a more laid back gym to a more competitive gym. She has gotten much stronger and her skills look great, but she has just told us that she thinks she is ready to quit gym. She says that 'it is very hard', which she says is not about the conditioning but more about the pressure she feels. Her coach says that she is a very hard worker and that she is doing well with her skills.

Do you think that it is a good reason to let a child quit because they don't like the pressure? She seems to still love gymnastics but the nerves that she feels even at practice have gotten her to the point of not wanting to participate. One day last week she threw up a bit early in practice because she was so nervous. I am guessing that if she feels this much pressure at practice that the meet season could really send her stress level into overdrive. She is poised to have a much more successful season this year due to her better training, though, and I am saddened to think that she would miss out on that experience. We really like her coach and there are no issues with yelling or harsh coaching practices. She is firm but fair and encouraging. Any advice?

 

[John]

@GymMom033 Anther tough spot for a parent. My daughter has a friend, best friend, who experiences the throw up from stress problem as well. Her parents took her, at 11ish, to a psychologist who gave her some coping mechanisms to use when she was feeling pressure. She is 13 now and doing well. Occasionally, like after vacation, she feels the pressure and upset stomach but uses her coping skills to triumph over those feelings. She is open about it and askes me or her parent to stay at gym until she feels better.

So long story short possibly you could have her speak to someone who could give her some techniques. Let her try those techniques and see how it goes before giving up before she retires and has regret. Just my two cents.

 

[twinmomma]

I have a nervous daughter too. If she loves gymnastics, then I would advise quitting due to nerves is a bad idea. Her whole life will be filled with nerves inducing events - interviews, presentations, etc... Gone are the days where you can take a job where you just put your head down and not have to interact with anyone in a high pressure way. These are the life lessons of gymnastics. And as long as it isn't debilitating or impacting other areas of her life, it's a great way for her to learn how to channel the nervous energy and make it work for her.

 

[2gymkids]

To me it would depend on if it's nerves, as in getting nervous before a meet? Or if it's more constant nerves/anxiety. We just went through a similar scenario, repeating L4 at a much more competitive gym, and DD ended up deciding to quit (she wanted to quit halfway through the season, we asked her to finish the season and she did). For her, it was an overall anxiety- anxiety about the next level and uptraining, anxiety about meeting her coaches expectations, dreading going to practice, etc. To her it was "nerves" but it wasn't nerves like just nervous about a meet. It was nerves about gymnastics in general and she couldn't shut it down. So, she stopped, and her overall anxiety really decreased once that was out of the picture. Yes, we sunk a lot of time and money into a sport she walked away from, but...it's an extracurricular activity. If she's getting sick about it, it's not worth it imo. (And, since leaving gym, my DD has had to work some major nerves in other, new scenarios, so it's not like she isn't learning to cope with nerves. It's just that gym was TOO much).