Parents Quitting

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ego248

Proud Parent
I have learned so much from this site. This is my first time posting.

DD (just turned 9) who just completed level 4 has decided to quit. She decided this right after she learned she would have to do another year at level 4. I think she is upset and not thinking about the real consequences. She has said she would feel differently if "the paper said something different."

She has said she wants to try soccer because her friend told her she would be good at it. She has also said she is confused but then insists she is done with gymnastics.

I did meet with one of her coaches who said she could do a trial at level 4 just for the summer. I do understand why she needs to repeat and how it would help her in the long term and have communicated this to DD- build her confidence and not be rushed to learn new skills. She says it would be boring.

Originally we were told xcel was not an option but now it is. We do have a meeting with the xcel coach next week and then she needs to make a decision.

In the end if she insists she wants to quit - I will support her decision. I am just sad about it now. She is slower to learn new skills but is very strong and graceful.

Not really looking for advice. Just thought this would be a safe place to vent. Thanks.
 
If she decides to leave gymnastics, don't refer to it as quitting. She completed her season. Quitting is what happens when they are done mid-season without a medical or financial reason.
When they leave in the off-season, they are retiring.

Hopefully the meeting with the Xcel coach goes well and she chooses that route, but if not, soccer is a good sport.
 
Gymnastics should be fun for her to continue to commit. Hopefully meeting with the Xcel coach will put another option for your daughter. Good luck working through the thought process. Hugs.
 
they have to truly love gymnastics to get through the rough spots.
and it needs to be fun. is there anyway you can let her try a new sport and still keep her in the gym? there has to be some one day soccer clinics in your area you can sign her up for. she may try it and hate it. or love it. or like it but realize she prefers gymnastics.

we went (and still are) through something similar with my gymmie. we are working on expanding her horizons and we took her rock climbing and discussed other sports she might want to try (there are none).

work with her and let her try something new. at level 4, she can still fit something else in. at least some of our 4s did.

it's tricky and the best thing you can do is support her, show her all the options and cry silently behind closed doors if she decides to retire. :rolleyes:
 
Around me repeating level 4 is a very common thing, but if that's how your daughter feels there is nothing wrong with her retiring to do different things. Good luck w/ whatever she decides.
 
Mine "retired" about a year ago after competing for 6 years (6 to age 12). The thing is, even though she was as sure as a 12 year old could be, when she got to that final month she was still ambivalent about leaving even though she was excited about trying other sports. I think what helped her move forward was telling her (both me and her coaches) that the door was always open to return to gymnastics if she ever changed her mind. After talking to the coaches about options, maybe look at encouraging your daughter to take time off and see if she misses it? Well, best of luck! I was pretty sad when mine left the sport but it's worked out really well and she's thriving in other sports and in school. She says that she misses her friends and she misses training bars but not enough to return.
 
Agree 100% with wallinbl. This sport is full of disappointments (repeating levels, injuries, low scores, etc.) and these girls learn how to overcome them. If she is just disappointed with having to repeat a level then I would encourage her to stay and work through it. Repeat the level and she may find that she has a great season and her confidence will soar. And she will need that confidence as she goes into optionals.
 
It would be a nice option if she would do both gym and soccer for the summer and then make a decision!
My dd10 is similar, she is strong and flexible but slower to get skills than some of the girls. She has decided she wants to switch to tramp. I'm a little sad since the skills she has look beautiful and I love to watch her. Dh is happy about the switch, he thinks tramp is more 'useful' *eyeroll*
 
I would "make" her try one week with the Xcel practices (hopefully the gym allows that) and then tell her she can be done at the end of the week if she wants to no questions asked. Meanwhile sign her up for once a week soccer and swim/dive.
 
they have to truly love gymnastics to get through the rough spots.
and it needs to be fun. is there anyway you can let her try a new sport..l

I 100% agree with this.

A few of my DD's closest gym BFFs have quit over the last year, and another is currently strongly considering it, which is making her feel left behind. To add to that, she had to give up he secondary sport last year due to conflicting seasons. Lastly, it's become a lot more "serious" at practice the last year or so, and she's had a couple scary but minor injuries which have spooked her a bit.

Wants to quit, but wants to stay. It's heartbreaking to watch and sad to think of her deciding the be done, but it is what it is. We're introducing a "new" second sport later this summer, just for fun, and I think the distraction will help her. She's getting excited about trying it. Might also add in a track camp at her future high school for the heck of it.

As other have suggested, they really do have to love it to make all the choices they have to make. Do I try this super scary-looking skill? Do I skip my BFF's bday party for a meet? Do I really have to do 45min of strength every practice?

I'd let her try soccer. In our area you can often find week long clinics, or 1x/week intro classes for the summer, so maybe peek around at the options. And if she really wants to try xcel, that may be a great route. DD has several former teammates who have moved to xcel while focusing on a different sport, and they're very happy with he choice.
 
Thanks all. We have been using the term - being done with gymnastics rather than "quitting.". We meet with the Xcel coach tonight. She is signed up for a basketball camp for the week the gym is closed. I have also found a few soccer camps she can attend. We kind of went through this last summer and she did participate in several sports camps but then decided to stick with gymnastics. I hope she can do a trial with Xcel before making a final decision. In the end I will support whatever she decides.
 
Someone gave me great advice about "retiring" once, wish I remembered whom it was. It went something like this. Never make a decision to leave something when anger or disappointed. In that moment the decision will always be to retire. Wait till things are going well and if the desire to leave is still present then you know moving on is the right path.
 
Meeting with Xcel coach did not go as I expected. She didn't support switching to Xcel and suggested trying level 4 for the summer. This coach has know DD since she was in classes- age 5. She did say she could switch to Xcel after summer if she really wanted to. Seems like they want to keep her on JO track. Or maybe they don't have room in Xcel program. May just "make" her try level 4 for the summer while also giving her opportunities to try some other sports. I don't think DD really knows what she wants.
 
She is going to have to repeat a level sometime if she moves up levels because of not quite being ready to move up or injury. It just about happens to every gymnast.
It is best that she do it at Level 4 because this is , IMO, the most inportant learning level. This is where they get the basics that are going to carry them the rest of their career in gymnastics.
 
I will say that repeating a level is definitely not the end of the world. You have to keep the end game in mind. I'm fortunate in that my gymmie understands this and actually wants to repeat level 4. She knows she's not ready for 5 and she won't be successful if she forces it. I would encourage your dd to think of her end game. What's her goal? Can she successfully accomplish that if she repeats level 4? Can she if she stops gymnastics altogether? Things to consider... and I totally agree, don't make the decision while things are tough, or disappointing, or not what she wanted. See it through to the other side and then decide. Best wishes to your dd!
 
my dd repeated lvl 3. we knew she was going to going in to her first year. it was tough to see her left behind but it was a fabulous meet season for her and she was more than well prepared for level 4. she was able to skip 5 and have a really good lvl 6 season as well. i'm fully anticipating that if she sticks with it, she will have to repeat a level again. level 8 seems like one a lot of kids repeat. even the good ones.
 
I made her go to practice this week. She was not happy when I told her - but once she got in the gym her attitude completely changed. She participated fully and came home in good spirits. It was as if all the discussion before about quitting never happened.
 
I made her go to practice this week. She was not happy when I told her - but once she got in the gym her attitude completely changed. She participated fully and came home in good spirits. It was as if all the discussion before about quitting never happened.
It's fantastic you made her go. I too agree that you never "retire" on a down note. My DD got injured four times in her L6 year. If she had stopped at the end of the year, I would have understood completely. But I struggled with ending that way. Once she came back and made it through the summer uninjured, she made a decision to keep going - to figure out how much she was thinking of retiring bc of the injuries and the struggles vs just not liking the sport anymore. One day at a time.
 
This below is what I've heard too! L4 can be a great one to repeat. Glad to hear her practice went well too!

She is going to have to repeat a level sometime if she moves up levels because of not quite being ready to move up or injury. It just about happens to every gymnast.
It is best that she do it at Level 4 because this is , IMO, the most inportant learning level. This is where they get the basics that are going to carry them the rest of their career in gymnastics.
 

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