Hi. My dd age 14 did Level 8 for two seasons. Strong gymnast, made it to regionals and placed. This summer she was moved to Level 9. A few weeks ago she developed a few blocks and lost some L9 skills. First meet is in 6 weeks. Coach wants to put her back to Level 8 and move her to a different training group. I think there is a fine line between working through the issues and staying in L9 until she is ready to compete and going back to 8 for a third time and feeling demoted and defeated (that's how she is feeling with that idea). She wants to stay with her L9 group. Once she is in L8 they will require her to stay there for the season. She's been thinking about quitting and going back to L8 might be the nail in the coffin. Thoughts?
Parents Repeating a level for a third time
- Thread starter Greyhound
- Start date
- Status
That's a tough one - would they let her do 9 and scratch the event(s) she's having blocks on? Or does your gym have an all four events or nothing policy (unless injured)?
If it were me, I would probably prefer my kid train with whatever group she will be happiest with and most likely to progress to getting back the skills she needs for the higher level - I wouldn't worry so much about winning medals, scores and scratching events/meets as I would about progress. If she was put in the L8 group, would they still work on L9 skills with her? What do you think about the coaching and group dynamic in that L8 group vs. the L9 group?
If it were me, I would probably prefer my kid train with whatever group she will be happiest with and most likely to progress to getting back the skills she needs for the higher level - I wouldn't worry so much about winning medals, scores and scratching events/meets as I would about progress. If she was put in the L8 group, would they still work on L9 skills with her? What do you think about the coaching and group dynamic in that L8 group vs. the L9 group?
I agree......lots of delicate issues with an older gymnast who is training upper optionals......I would fight to keep her in her group and totally throw her a carrot of competing L9 and giving her a goal....say the goal is to scratch one event for the first meet only, or something similar.......At this stage the objective is to keep them IN and by making her repeat L8, and locking her in for the whole season, it IS defeating....
Im not sure how attrition is at the gym but many quit around this age for similar reasons.....
Was she injured? What is she having problem with?
Im not sure how attrition is at the gym but many quit around this age for similar reasons.....
Was she injured? What is she having problem with?
The gym wants you to compete all four unless you are injured. She wants to be in her L9 group. They are all progressing and so it's tough, but I agree with your point. Just get skills back, meets will come later. If she was put in the other group they do train some L9 skills but really focus on the skills needed for meets. She likes the coaches in the L8 group and the group itself. She really is close with the L9 group and they are very supportive. The L9 coaches are a little rough on her because of the blocks.
Thanks. Yes, we have had a bit of attrition. I think going to the other group might not be good. She was given the choice and wants to stay in her L9 group (BTW, she took a week off because she was trying to figure out if she wanted to quit). Coach says ok but that she thinks she fits better with the other one. I am not sure I agree. She trained with her L9 group all summer and was on par with all of them. I don't think this is a capability issue I think it is a block issue and her confidence getting creamed. She lost her HS HS and BT on high beam. She also lost her 1 1/2 punch front on floor.
D
Deleted member 18037
Devils Advocate here. The goal is supposed to be what the child is wanting. And she is thinking about being done. Why would the goal be to keep her in? The goal should be to get her to a place where is at peace with whatever decision she comes too. And one of the options is being done.
Since you didn't mention where the blocks are, for all we know they could be across events. It could be problematic as she would be scratching multiple events.
I would think (actually really hope) the point from the coaches perspective, is by putting her back the pressure to get the skills will be completely off. So she has no pressure and can still train the skills and have to get them back and solid before competing them. I rather think of that as a good thing. And that is how the coaches (and by extension you) should be presenting, again at least I hope they would.
Also if the L9 coaches are reluctant to have her there, that adds further pressure on her. Why would she or you want to be in a group, who is not 100% on her side.
Perhaps its time for a meeting with the coaches to come up with a plan that works for everyone. For me it would be back to L8, perhaps add some new more difficult skills to that, continue uptraining L9 stuff. She gets it when she gets it. Once solid, move her back to 9. Just because they have never moved up mid season, doesn't mean that can't change. Or train with L9, don't compete at all until she has the skills solid, or compete L8 while training with the L9s.
At our gym which is small all the optional girls train together, they just have smaller break outs for skill specific drills and practice so we don't have the clique type thing of different groups and coaches for levels.
I don't know your child but my child went through this last spring at a lower level. She was L4, told she would be moving to L6. There was a lot of pressure on her to get her BHS on beam and lots of work on bars was needed. She was struggling and worried about getting the skill, not blocked but worried. For the first time we had tears about going to gym. She got the BHS but bars weren't there yet. She ended up hurting her wrist and had time off. Due to the time off, no level 6 for her L5.
I have to say for her, she is happy kid again about gym. It took her a bit to get her BHS back, and L5 gives her time to work on bar skills that are not ready. My kid is the type who wants the skills solid. We can see her skills getting better and she is a much happier kid then she was in spring.
Also from a being done level. We have had a few girls quit this summer. It was harder on the parents then the kids I think. I can tell you all the girls are at peace with their decisions. And they were variousl levels from 4-9.
I hope you daughter comes to a place that she is at peace about.
Since you didn't mention where the blocks are, for all we know they could be across events. It could be problematic as she would be scratching multiple events.
I would think (actually really hope) the point from the coaches perspective, is by putting her back the pressure to get the skills will be completely off. So she has no pressure and can still train the skills and have to get them back and solid before competing them. I rather think of that as a good thing. And that is how the coaches (and by extension you) should be presenting, again at least I hope they would.
Also if the L9 coaches are reluctant to have her there, that adds further pressure on her. Why would she or you want to be in a group, who is not 100% on her side.
Perhaps its time for a meeting with the coaches to come up with a plan that works for everyone. For me it would be back to L8, perhaps add some new more difficult skills to that, continue uptraining L9 stuff. She gets it when she gets it. Once solid, move her back to 9. Just because they have never moved up mid season, doesn't mean that can't change. Or train with L9, don't compete at all until she has the skills solid, or compete L8 while training with the L9s.
At our gym which is small all the optional girls train together, they just have smaller break outs for skill specific drills and practice so we don't have the clique type thing of different groups and coaches for levels.
I don't know your child but my child went through this last spring at a lower level. She was L4, told she would be moving to L6. There was a lot of pressure on her to get her BHS on beam and lots of work on bars was needed. She was struggling and worried about getting the skill, not blocked but worried. For the first time we had tears about going to gym. She got the BHS but bars weren't there yet. She ended up hurting her wrist and had time off. Due to the time off, no level 6 for her L5.
I have to say for her, she is happy kid again about gym. It took her a bit to get her BHS back, and L5 gives her time to work on bar skills that are not ready. My kid is the type who wants the skills solid. We can see her skills getting better and she is a much happier kid then she was in spring.
Also from a being done level. We have had a few girls quit this summer. It was harder on the parents then the kids I think. I can tell you all the girls are at peace with their decisions. And they were variousl levels from 4-9.
I hope you daughter comes to a place that she is at peace about.
If you take a look at my post you will see that she decided that she is NOT done. She wants to go back to the gym. That was her choice. She was given the option to quit.
Our gym is not small. We have over 100 girls. Level 4 is also a completely different experience than Level 9. And trust me, the gym has been around for more than 25 years. Nobody moves up mid season
Grey -
I feel for you (and your dd); BTDT. The upper optional levels are brutal on many different levels - athletic, mental, social - to name a few. As someone up-thread said, the focus should be on getting the confidence and mental toughness back rather than competing. In doing this though, she has to feel challenged and be able to see the goal from where she is. I would most likely resist the effort to change her training group; she most likely will feel the demotion of it and potentially shut down, feeling as if people have given up on her.
I am sure she is starting to feel the pressure as she nears high school - it becomes very hard for them to continue to justify the time spent if there isn't a goal out there. In my opinion, its time for a 2-part discussion with the coach; part one between parents and coach and part two between the coach and athlete.
Good Luck.
I feel for you (and your dd); BTDT. The upper optional levels are brutal on many different levels - athletic, mental, social - to name a few. As someone up-thread said, the focus should be on getting the confidence and mental toughness back rather than competing. In doing this though, she has to feel challenged and be able to see the goal from where she is. I would most likely resist the effort to change her training group; she most likely will feel the demotion of it and potentially shut down, feeling as if people have given up on her.
I am sure she is starting to feel the pressure as she nears high school - it becomes very hard for them to continue to justify the time spent if there isn't a goal out there. In my opinion, its time for a 2-part discussion with the coach; part one between parents and coach and part two between the coach and athlete.
Good Luck.
Thanks. Just to clarify we have had two meeting with head coach. One with DD and one without. Your comment about feeling a demotion and potentially shut down, as if people have give up on her, is spot on, especially given her personality. Unfortunately, the coaches are not warm and fuzzy so a nurturing pep talk won't happen. Where we netted out is that she is going to go into her L9 group and see how things go. I don't care if she competes any time soon. I just want to see her get her skills back because that is what she wants. The gym does put a lot of emphasis of competing though. It kind of adds to the pressure. The thinking is that if you are on the team and not injured you compete where you can.
Maybe she doesn't need warm and fuzzy, but rather firm and with expectations and willing to help her achieve her goal at her pace. My dd would not have wanted warm and fuzzy; she wanted to know they hadn't given up on her and still expected her to get to her goal. Honestly, at level 9 and 10 it really gets individualized; maybe she needs to work with the coaches to find some other skills rather then those that she is blocked on to put in and then still be expected to work the blocked skills on her own. The gymnastics mental game is a multi-player game: athlete-coach-parent and all have to do their part to see the athlete thru to a healthy conclusion.
Good Luck!
I think a coach can be nurturing while having expectations and be willing to help her achieve her goal at her pace. Many of the coaches are very old school.....if you are afraid then go home..kinda thing. She is not afraid of firm, but that kind of talk is not inspiring.
My DD is only 10 (almost 11), but we were faced with something similar last year. Sit out and prepare for next season, or go for it even if you get your bottom handed to you. Coaches were supportive, but let her know ahead of time that it was HER choice to go for it and that they were going to push her. I thought another year of prepping and competing L8 would have been the best option. I was dead wrong. She didn't quite make her goals last year, but she gained so much confidence and experience that I have no doubt that she will accomplish them this year. IF she had opted to do things my way, I think we would be in the same boat this year. I think it's best to listen to the gymnast. At these levels, they know what they want and what it's going to take to get there. Lots of tears of frustration and so many it ok's, you're getting there! But as a more seasoned parent, I'm sure you know the struggle much better than I do.
I can sympathize...my DD is around the same age and has been walking the L7/L8 line for a couple seasons. She has dealt with injuries and mental blocks. Nowhere near L9 but I can understand the mental piece. When she repeated 7 the coaches made the awesome decision to keep her with her old training group (who all moved up) half of the time. It kept her connected to her friends and she didn't feel a demotion since she had some time with her old group. This year she has been moved completely to her old training group even though she's a level or so behind in skills. This has kept her happy and in the gym. If she'd have been moved back a group completely at any time (much younger kids) I don't think she would have hung in there.
In your DD's case I don't see that moving to a new training group would be beneficial at all, mentally or gymnastics wise. She had the skills, she's just blocking. She could do progressions back from wherever she needs to in her same training group. I would fight hard for that. As far as competing, it just depends on what she wants out of it. My DD is going to 8 with a couple issues instead of repeating 7, again. She doesn't expect to win, and may scratch some events, but she's motivated to stay in gym (this is her 10th year!).
Sorry I don't have great advice, but I hope hearing my experience helps. Good luck and I hope you can all make a decision together that works. A teenage L9 is definitely a very complex puzzle!
In your DD's case I don't see that moving to a new training group would be beneficial at all, mentally or gymnastics wise. She had the skills, she's just blocking. She could do progressions back from wherever she needs to in her same training group. I would fight hard for that. As far as competing, it just depends on what she wants out of it. My DD is going to 8 with a couple issues instead of repeating 7, again. She doesn't expect to win, and may scratch some events, but she's motivated to stay in gym (this is her 10th year!).
Sorry I don't have great advice, but I hope hearing my experience helps. Good luck and I hope you can all make a decision together that works. A teenage L9 is definitely a very complex puzzle!
It's a tough call (on both sides). I don't see anything wrong with multiple years at the optional levels. It seems their is a stigma with repeating more than once and really, it's just training and competing where you are at depending on your skills.
In a big gym like your daughter's, I can see where it would be beneficial for the gym as a whole to have kids training where they are skill wise, so it would make sense to have her with the 8s. But I'm sure they can work around it.
As a parent of a kid same age and level (though as of right now, she has 3 of 4 events ready to compete for 9, so different story), I would definitely want my kids input, but also would want to look at the whole situation. She's been through blocks and they really suck. But she's usually been of the attitude of compete where she can safely and competently compete all events. This year she was prepared to do 3rd year of 8 because she doesn't like feeling so stressed out if she doesn't have all her skills. She figured she'd just add in her higher skills where allowed.
Seems your gym isn't very flexible, can't compete unless 4 events and I imagine they have pretty standard requirements for levels and won't work with her for alternative ways to meet the requirements for level 9? Definitely hard. Maybe if the pressure is taken off, "don't worry, train 9, if you get skills you compete, if not, no biggie", she will get her skills. Hopefully! Hang in there. It is rough at these levels.
In a big gym like your daughter's, I can see where it would be beneficial for the gym as a whole to have kids training where they are skill wise, so it would make sense to have her with the 8s. But I'm sure they can work around it.
As a parent of a kid same age and level (though as of right now, she has 3 of 4 events ready to compete for 9, so different story), I would definitely want my kids input, but also would want to look at the whole situation. She's been through blocks and they really suck. But she's usually been of the attitude of compete where she can safely and competently compete all events. This year she was prepared to do 3rd year of 8 because she doesn't like feeling so stressed out if she doesn't have all her skills. She figured she'd just add in her higher skills where allowed.
Seems your gym isn't very flexible, can't compete unless 4 events and I imagine they have pretty standard requirements for levels and won't work with her for alternative ways to meet the requirements for level 9? Definitely hard. Maybe if the pressure is taken off, "don't worry, train 9, if you get skills you compete, if not, no biggie", she will get her skills. Hopefully! Hang in there. It is rough at these levels.
Another question that is a bit different, but is related to the mental side of things and the confidence issue - does your DD know that blocks/losing skills happens and is normal - and that she is very normal?? Yes, it is frustrating, and not every gymnast gets it to this degree, but it is normal and understandable that it happens, and there are ways to work through this.
My DD was in a very similar situation, and is moving up to L8 this year but has a couple of skill issues. It all worked out that my DD is staying with her group, she has firm but supportive coaches who are aware of what is going on and have a plan to work through it, AND my DD has been able to keep her confidence up and still looks forward to going to practice each day as she does understand this is normal struggle. This was not easy at all when the fears and blocks came out, but she is now able to see that even though it is a very slow (and painful to a degree) path, she is on a positive path forward and has confidence she will (eventually) get her skills.
One thing I have thought about with my DD since I don't know how long she will want to be in the sport - when it IS time for the end, I want it to be on her terms, and not because of fears/blocks. Yes, easier said than done, but that is my goal for her.
My DD was in a very similar situation, and is moving up to L8 this year but has a couple of skill issues. It all worked out that my DD is staying with her group, she has firm but supportive coaches who are aware of what is going on and have a plan to work through it, AND my DD has been able to keep her confidence up and still looks forward to going to practice each day as she does understand this is normal struggle. This was not easy at all when the fears and blocks came out, but she is now able to see that even though it is a very slow (and painful to a degree) path, she is on a positive path forward and has confidence she will (eventually) get her skills.
One thing I have thought about with my DD since I don't know how long she will want to be in the sport - when it IS time for the end, I want it to be on her terms, and not because of fears/blocks. Yes, easier said than done, but that is my goal for her.
Sounds like you have a plan for now at least. Given that she had already been training with the 9s, It doesn't sound like it would be helpful for her to go back down, and especially after 2 years in 8 and her on the fence about being done (at least she was), but it is not like she can't work on those skills in 8. A lot of girls compete bhs/bhs and bt on beam in L8. Have you asked the coaches whether they feel this block will be a long standing one and whether they see the similar issues with her next series - presumably bhs-lo? As a side - my dd hated bhs-bhs. She competed bwo-bhs in L7/8 and then went to bhs-lo in 9/10.
No solutions for you, but just letting you know that my DD hit a wall around that same age and really stopped progressing for several years. It is such a hard age with their bodies and brains going through massive changes. In our case, we "made" DD switch to Xcel Diamond for a year... not so much because she was not progressing, but we just wanted her to get some distance from the sport and decide if she really wanted to be spending every minute that she wasn't in school in the gym or if she was just doing it because she didn't know how to do anything else. I'm oversimplifying... there was a lot of stuff going on. But a year of Xcel did re-ignite her passion for gymnastics and now she is back in the levels (repeating 8 for the 3rd time) and gaining new skills again. I am not suggesting that this is what your daughter should do. I'm just commiserating that 13/14-ish can be a really difficult age to be a gymnast! Really, for me I think I'd fight to have her in the group with her friends. If that's level 9, that's where I'd want her, even if she ended up competing with the 8's. These girls have given up so many of the "normal" social opportunities that teenagers get to have so they need to get it somewhere. If the coaches want to keep her in the sport, keeping her with her friends is in their best interest too!
I agree with you on many points! Especially that level 4/5 stuff is not the same as level 8/9 stuff.
My dd is looking at possibly repeating level 8 for a 3rd year. Due to injury she was out a year. It is frustrating to me to watch (but I do understand the why) and I am letting her be the guide. Right now she would rather struggle at level 9 than rock it at level 8. She wants level 9 SO BAD! I don't think repeating level 8 three times is all bad. When my dd was a level 5/6 I remember seeing girls at our gym repeat level 8 several times. I couldn't understand it at all! But now we are there and I totally get it. Stuff happens. They grow, they have other interests, gymnastics gets really hard, and they do get hurt. There is a lot of room for growth at level 8, so repeating frequently makes sense. The jump to 9 is big.
For your dd - it sounds like keeping her with the level 9 group and allowing her to work through her blocks is the best thing. I hope your gym allows her to do that without much pressure. Each gymnast has their own path in this sport. Hopefully your dd will keep on her path and make this work for her. (**and get over her blocks quickly**) Hugs!
My dd is looking at possibly repeating level 8 for a 3rd year. Due to injury she was out a year. It is frustrating to me to watch (but I do understand the why) and I am letting her be the guide. Right now she would rather struggle at level 9 than rock it at level 8. She wants level 9 SO BAD! I don't think repeating level 8 three times is all bad. When my dd was a level 5/6 I remember seeing girls at our gym repeat level 8 several times. I couldn't understand it at all! But now we are there and I totally get it. Stuff happens. They grow, they have other interests, gymnastics gets really hard, and they do get hurt. There is a lot of room for growth at level 8, so repeating frequently makes sense. The jump to 9 is big.
For your dd - it sounds like keeping her with the level 9 group and allowing her to work through her blocks is the best thing. I hope your gym allows her to do that without much pressure. Each gymnast has their own path in this sport. Hopefully your dd will keep on her path and make this work for her. (**and get over her blocks quickly**) Hugs!
I'm going to make this simple - it's mid to late October - what level 9 skills/routines does she have right now? If she doesn't have floor or beam (the two easiest events) - does she have a bar routine? What is it?
Many many girls spend 3 years in level 8 or 9. It won't make a difference in the long run if she isn't ready and does another year of 8, and two of 9, or if she goes up to 9 now and does 3 years of 9. Only difference it makes is if she has no 9 routines, it's going to be a crushing season and potentially dangerous.
Many many girls spend 3 years in level 8 or 9. It won't make a difference in the long run if she isn't ready and does another year of 8, and two of 9, or if she goes up to 9 now and does 3 years of 9. Only difference it makes is if she has no 9 routines, it's going to be a crushing season and potentially dangerous.
- Status
Similar threads
