WAG Retiring

[gymnastrose]

Hi, first post here. I'm a 16 year old level 7 and I have a bit of a dilemma regarding "retirement".

It has been well known to my parents, coaches, and team that I and a few teammates of my same age were going to retire at the end of this competitive season (next friday). It was always something I was so sure I was going to do, just because of the time commitment, was having a rough winter and didn't want to go to practice, school is hard, etc. These last few weeks after our last meet I've been feeling like I want to stay for another year and stick it out until I graduate. I feel like I'll miss it too much and regret not staying.

I have no idea how to tell my parents this, or my coach. Summer training starts soon and I don't want to be a burden and mess up the training groups, or make my coach irritated by saying I was stopping and then changing my mind at the last minute. Any advice on how to approach both my parents and coach about this? And help would be appreciated!

 

[gymnast_la]

Hi, first post here. I'm a 16 year old level 7 and I have a bit of a dilemma regarding "retirement".

It has been well known to my parents, coaches, and team that I and a few teammates of my same age were going to retire at the end of this competitive season (next friday). It was always something I was so sure I was going to do, just because of the time commitment, was having a rough winter and didn't want to go to practice, school is hard, etc. These last few weeks after our last meet I've been feeling like I want to stay for another year and stick it out until I graduate. I feel like I'll miss it too much and regret not staying.

I have no idea how to tell my parents this, or my coach. Summer training starts soon and I don't want to be a burden and mess up the training groups, or make my coach irritated by saying I was stopping and then changing my mind at the last minute. Any advice on how to approach both my parents and coach about this? And help would be appreciated!

Tell them what's on your mind first then ask if they agree. I do that to my parents and they understand. They'll make there opinion on it. Hope it turns out well.

 

[Tumble_flip_fly]

If I were you I would talk to your parents first, think about it and tbh make a pros and cons list of gymnastics[emoji23] when I left my first gym (mind you, I was in 4th grade so it's a but different) but I told my parents and then I kinda hinted a bit to my coaches but didn't tell them then when I was sure I told them a few days before I left then just kinda......left. Anyway I would make your decision, talk to your parents, and then just tell your coach. That's my opinion but do what works for you[emoji23]

 

[Redford]

I had to smile a little. It's the first time I hear a gymnast being unsure about how to approach coaches and parents about not quitting.

Are you sure about wanting to commit for another year?

If so, just go ahead and talk to your parents about it. Tell them what you told us, how you feel about gym. They might give a heavy sigh at another year of financial and time commitment, but I'm sure they'll ultimatly understand an will want you to be happy.
And I bet your coach will be rather happy to have you around for another year, why shouldn't he/she be? I absolutly love having expirienced and mature gymnasts in the gym who can be role models for the younger kids!

If not, can you somehow manage to take a few weeks off in order to sort out how you feel about a life without gymnastics?

 

[Tuppy]

Yesterday, in a different context, a coach said to my daughter, you will never know if you don' t ask. Hassle or not, you should address so that there are no regrets, and no what ifs. I'm sure many change their mind on the sport. I would encourage you to talk to your coaches and family to discuss. Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Hi, first post here. I'm a 16 year old level 7 and I have a bit of a dilemma regarding "retirement".

It has been well known to my parents, coaches, and team that I and a few teammates of my same age were going to retire at the end of this competitive season (next friday). It was always something I was so sure I was going to do, just because of the time commitment, was having a rough winter and didn't want to go to practice, school is hard, etc. These last few weeks after our last meet I've been feeling like I want to stay for another year and stick it out until I graduate. I feel like I'll miss it too much and regret not staying.

I have no idea how to tell my parents this, or my coach. Summer training starts soon and I don't want to be a burden and mess up the training groups, or make my coach irritated by saying I was stopping and then changing my mind at the last minute. Any advice on how to approach both my parents and coach about this? And help would be appreciated!

From a coaches perspective. You and others advertised in the middle of the season that you were going to retire, which in teenage land is a negative to the team. This is not good for the team and typically other girls will jump on board with this. Now I don't know if you brought it up to the other girls or one of them brought it up to you, but one thing is certain....you all didn't bring it up at the exact same time. Simply put , girls will jump on board with each other. This is destructive behavior. It is normal to find it difficult during season and easier in the summer . My rule is if you bring up quitting in the middle of the season to other athletes , I hold the child to it . Now if you are quiet about it (which is a rule on our team) and announce you are retiring after season ends and then change your mind , sure no problem! As a parent I know it's extremely annoying when a teammate brings up quitting and typically it puts that question in your child's mind (I actually get frantic emails from parents regarding this when it occurrs) . So my message to other kids out there is please keep it to yourself.

 

[gymnastrose]

I had to smile a little. It's the first time I hear a gymnast being unsure about how to approach coaches and parents about not quitting.

Are you sure about wanting to commit for another year?

If so, just go ahead and talk to your parents about it. Tell them what you told us, how you feel about gym. They might give a heavy sigh at another year of financial and time commitment, but I'm sure they'll ultimatly understand an will want you to be happy.
And I bet your coach will be rather happy to have you around for another year, why shouldn't he/she be? I absolutly love having expirienced and mature gymnasts in the gym who can be role models for the younger kids!

If not, can you somehow manage to take a few weeks off in order to sort out how you feel about a life without gymnastics?

We are actually taking about 3-4 weeks off in July to give everyone time off so that might work out really well! Thank you for your advice

 

[gymnastrose]

From a coaches perspective. You and others advertised in the middle of the season that you were going to retire, which in teenage land is a negative to the team. This is not good for the team and typically other girls will jump on board with this. Now I don't know if you brought it up to the other girls or one of them brought it up to you, but one thing is certain....you all didn't bring it up at the exact same time. Simply put , girls will jump on board with each other. This is destructive behavior. It is normal to find it difficult during season and easier in the summer . My rule is if you bring up quitting in the middle of the season to other athletes , I hold the child to it . Now if you are quiet about it (which is a rule on our team) and announce you are retiring after season ends and then change your mind , sure no problem! As a parent I know it's extremely annoying when a teammate brings up quitting and typically it puts that question in your child's mind (I actually get frantic emails from parents regarding this when it occurrs) . So my message to other kids out there is please keep it to yourself.

Hi! Thank you for sharing your perspective as a coach! The funny thing is we actually did bring it up at the same time, as we are all the same age and very close friends since we were very small. The other girls were sad to hear that we were going to go, but I don't think it ever really came across to them as "well, if they're quitting, maybe I should too?" as we are quite older (at 16 years old, haha ) than most of the other girls. I could be wrong though, this is definetly something to think about.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Hi! Thank you for sharing your perspective as a coach! The funny thing is we actually did bring it up at the same time, as we are all the same age and very close friends since we were very small. The other girls were sad to hear that we were going to go, but I don't think it ever really came across to them as "well, if they're quitting, maybe I should too?" as we are quite older (at 16 years old, haha ) than most of the other girls. I could be wrong though, this is definetly something to think about.

No you did not all say at the exact same time , out of the blue "I going to quit at the end of the season". Impossible

 

[gymmomx2]

No you did not all say at the exact same time , out of the blue "I going to quit at the end of the season". Impossible

Just because they didn't all say it at the exact same time doesn't mean they hadn't been thinking of it at the same time. That wouldn't be at all surprising for 16 year olds to think of retiring.

 

[dmbgymnast]

No you did not all say at the exact same time , out of the blue "I going to quit at the end of the season". Impossible

This is the time (around 16) where gymnasts start thinking about retiring. I'm doubting this was a monkey-see monkey-do sort of situation.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

From a coaches perspective. You and others advertised in the middle of the season that you were going to retire, which in teenage land is a negative to the team. This is not good for the team and typically other girls will jump on board with this. Now I don't know if you brought it up to the other girls or one of them brought it up to you, but one thing is certain....you all didn't bring it up at the exact same time. Simply put , girls will jump on board with each other. This is destructive behavior. It is normal to find it difficult during season and easier in the summer . My rule is if you bring up quitting in the middle of the season to other athletes , I hold the child to it . Now if you are quiet about it (which is a rule on our team) and announce you are retiring after season ends and then change your mind , sure no problem! As a parent I know it's extremely annoying when a teammate brings up quitting and typically it puts that question in your child's mind (I actually get frantic emails from parents regarding this when it occurrs) . So my message to other kids out there is please keep it to yourself.

Do you spell this out to young ladies in a crystal clear way so the girls know how you deal before they get to the thinking about quitting point

 

[Deleted member 14190]

Do you spell this out to young ladies in a crystal clear way so the girls know how you deal before they get to the thinking about quitting point

Yes we simply ask them to keep quiet about potentially quitting if they feel that way until after season. I usually find out from an upset parent that a child is talking to the other about quitting. It's just rude to do to your teammates and coaches. Keep it quiet

 

[Deleted member 14190]

This is the time (around 16) where gymnasts start thinking about retiring. I'm doubting this was a monkey-see monkey-do sort of situation.

Yes this is the time , but keep quiet until season is over. How would you like to play on a jr league baseball team if a bunch of the kids were talking about quitting...

 

[l_gymnast]

I am going to have to disagree as I've witnessed this myself. If a group of super tightly knit gymnasts of the same age are all thinking of retirement at the same time it's not unusual. I don't think it's something to share with the entire team but if it's just with a couple of super close friends than I understand.

 

[LindyHopper]

To the OP, does your gym have an Xcel program? The whole point of Xcel, as I understand it, is to keep gymnasts in the sport. It was meant for girls who want to try other sports. It was meant for girls who wanted less hours. It was meant for girls who find school getting more difficult. It was meant for families who wanted a lower financial commitment.

If you did Xcel, perhaps you could find a happy medium between retiring, and doing another season of 7/8.

Just think about it.

 

[gymnastrose]

To the OP, does your gym have an Xcel program? The whole point of Xcel, as I understand it, is to keep gymnasts in the sport. It was meant for girls who want to try other sports. It was meant for girls who wanted less hours. It was meant for girls who find school getting more difficult. It was meant for families who wanted a lower financial commitment.

If you did Xcel, perhaps you could find a happy medium between retiring, and doing another season of 7/8.

Just think about it.

Thank you for your advice! My gym does not have Xcel, nor does any program near me unfortunately. That sounds like a great option for those that are lucky enough to have it! However, my coach already approached me a few months ago about coming in for less hours as a way to keep me in the sport so I might see if that is still an option.