Anon Sensitive Kid or Mean Coaching?

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Anonymous Post

Secret Identity
Feb 16, 2022
424
I know there was a question already posted like this before mine. I wanted to post this before, but I didn't know if it was that important, but thank you to the person who posted their question before mine.

My DD just started gymnastic classes as an early teen. The gym offers competitive levels 1-10 and there are no tryout dates, you just get asked if you want to join the team when they think you're ready. She's wanted to join a gymnastics team, I believe since the beginning of covid, but you know.. covid. When it got better, I just didn't have the time to let her join. But we moved, so I signed her up for a gymnastics class. We had a meeting with the HC before signing her up, he said that it would be best for her to try the pre-team first so they could evaluate her before doing competitive. They did have an option of putting her in beginners, but they said pre-team would work better because of her age and skill level. They evaluated her, and said pre-team would be best for now. The classes are once a week, because that's just how their pre-team classes work. She started a little over a month ago.

Apparently, in last weeks class, the coach raised his voice pretty loudly at her. "I know you've been practicing at home. You're ruining your skills. You're throwing your head back in your tuck."
DD said that she just nodded and tried again and he said it was better.
Then when a girl around her age tried her tuck, he said "Good, but you're throwing your head back. Try again,"

She just spoke about this now, and she says that her coach always congratulates, smiles and claps for others, but when it comes to her it's as if the sunny weather was suddenly replaced with thunder and lightning. Now, my DD is pretty sensitive. I think she let his words get in her head, because she cries when she talks about it. This is the only gym with competitive gymnastics around us, so there's not really a choice to move. DD really, really wants to have fun and do competitive, but I can't see her cry anymore. There was a similar, but minor situation like this the class before. I don't know what to do. Is this just another sensitive case and she's just comparing herself, or is something else? All the reviews for this gym and the coach are good.

Thanks for the responses
 

gymgal

Gold Membership
Proud Parent
Aug 22, 2008
4,599
I would recommend watching the class. Compare what you see with what your dd says happened in that class. Coach behaviors can change when they know a parent is watching so you may not see what she is experiencing but it's worth taking that first step. I will say that if she is practicing at home, the coach may be irritated by that and may be letting that show through their interactions. I am just saying that based on the comment you mentioned.
 

Anonymous Post

Secret Identity
Feb 16, 2022
424
Agree the coach may be trying to get through to her that she is not allowed to practice big skills at home. If this is an issue week after week he may be getting frustrated. Also - I was a very sensitive quiet kid that internalized and didn’t react outwardly, so some adults thought that meant they needed to pile it on to get through to me, while in reality I was a wreck about things as soon as I got to a private space. If it’s her reactions that he is misunderstanding, a talk with the coach should be beneficial. He may also be stricter with her because she is older.
 

Anonymous Post

Secret Identity
Feb 16, 2022
424
I would really rather my gymnasts not practice a lot of the skills at home.... but kids will be kids. I ask them not to, but I don't berate them for doing so. The consequence is natural and if they are that child that struggles to change something once they have started doing it a certain way - they will be spending a lot of time on drills to correct the bad habit while others move on in the gym.

I would absolutely expect a child of your daughters age who only does gym once a week (basically recreational) to be playing and experimenting with skills at home. With my rec kids in that situation, I try and give them guidance to make good choices in what/how they do gym at home rather than straight out saying it's forbidden because they probably won't listen especially if they do things with their friends.

It's a little sad that there are not other class options for your daughter to get her gym fix in -so she doesn't feel so desperate to practice at home. Are there trampoline or tumbling classes at any gym's near by?
 

Anonymous Post

Secret Identity
Feb 16, 2022
424
I would absolutely expect a child of your daughters age who only does gym once a week (basically recreational) to be playing and experimenting with skills at home.
This 100%. When my daughter was training 1.5 x 2 a week she was constantly practicing at home and asking for private lessons. Now that she's doing 4 x 4 a week all she wants to do at home is play with her toys, play switch, or read.

I think it's natural to want more when you have little of something that you like.