OT Setting a good example/responsibilities off the clock

[Geoffrey Taucer]

To what extent do you think coaches are responsible for setting a positive example off the clock?

I was recently out shopping, picked up a bottle of whiskey, and ran into a former student on my way out of the liquor store; my immediate reflex was to hide the whiskey so she wouldn't see me with it (despite the fact that I don't even coach anymore), and it got me thinking about this.

When a coach is outside the gym and off the clock, are they still responsible for setting a positive example for any students they may run into? Is it okay for a coach to smoke cigarettes in public? Post pictures with drink in hand on social media? Have an OnlyFans? Smoke weed, or make social media posts supporting legalization?

(We're assuming here that none of this is done or discussed at the gym, and that the coach is showing up for work stone cold sober without smelling like booze/weed/tobacco, but that off-the-clock activities are something a student or parent could potentially stumble upon.)

 

[JPC13]

this is an interesting topics. I was initially going to say say zero percent responsible, so long as whatever you’re doing isn’t egregious. I.e., an adult coach hanging around a high school giving booze to underage girls is a lot different than an adult getting sloppy drunk at some bar at 2am. I’m not sure where the line between “ok” is, though.

However your OF example gives me pause. I’d be totally fine with a coach having an OF or posting nonstop thirst traps on Instagram, but only if it doesn’t become a topic among the girls at gym — that is the dicey part. I’m not sure that I’d be happy if some gym kid pulled up pictures on their phone and showed my daughter her favorite coach twerking for dollar bills or something like that.

That’s no judgement call on the behavior. People should do what they want. But, I’ve worked too hard to keep that sort of thing out of my kid’s life.

This is a subtle topic.

 

[Flicfliclay]

One of my daughters coaches a few years back ( wasn't a head coach, but came in a few days to assist ) always came in smelling like a bad hangover ( weed and alcohol ) almost every time they came in to coach. My daughter was only maybe 10/11 at the time and would always mention it. ( The older girls told her that was what the smell was ). It seemed like the entire team always thought lesser of the coach because of that.
Wouldn't a coach be on the same level as a teacher? I have seen lots of teachers in the news getting fired from their jobs because parents/students have found their Only Fans accounts.
I personally don't care, but think as long as its not talked about or plastered flagrantly everywhere, it would be their business.

 

[Coach Kate]

I know at our gym, all of our social media is required to be private and we cannot be connected to our athletes until they are both 18 and we no longer coach them. We can choose to be connected to parents if we wish.

In person is something we laugh about all the time and everyone I've talked to just laughs and shrugs it off, particularly around being seen buying alcohol in public.

Personally, I feel more self conscious about other issues - religious and political ones in particular. I am somewhat more conservative about what I share in those areas.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

One of my daughters coaches a few years back ( wasn't a head coach, but came in a few days to assist ) always came in smelling like a bad hangover ( weed and alcohol ) almost every time they came in to coach. My daughter was only maybe 10/11 at the time and would always mention it. ( The older girls told her that was what the smell was ). It seemed like the entire team always thought lesser of the coach because of that.
Wouldn't a coach be on the same level as a teacher? I have seen lots of teachers in the news getting fired from their jobs because parents/students have found their Only Fans accounts.
I personally don't care, but think as long as its not talked about or plastered flagrantly everywhere, it would be their business.

I definitely think showing up to coach smelling like booze/weed/tobacco is unacceptable.

 

[Flicfliclay]

I definitely think showing up to coach smelling like booze/weed/tobacco is unacceptable.

thankfully the coach is no longer there!

 

[GymDadWA]

I don't know if it is double standards for different sports but often for my end of season gifts from the team I get gift certificates to a brewery/distillery. So at least my athletes/parents think consuming alcohol is something that coaches like to do and don't have a problem with.

Personally I did look up to all my coaches when I was younger as role models. I didn't expect them to be perfect, but thought a lot of them and thought they were all cool people and I respected what they did/said.

 

[JBS]

Have an OnlyFans?

Feeling really old right now... what is OnlyFans?

 

[JPC13]

Feeling really old right now... what is OnlyFans?

Per the internet:

OnlyFans is an internet content subscription service based in London, United Kingdom. The service is used primarily by sex workers who produce pornography, but it also hosts the work of other content creators, such as physical fitness experts and musicians.

It's primarily a way for internet models to get paid for posting content that violates Instagrams rules around nudity.

 

[JBS]

To what extent do you think coaches are responsible for setting a positive example off the clock?

It's probably partially determined by the gym owner in many cases. In other words... what an owner would fire a coach for.

I would say it is more the parents job to block things than it is for a coach to be a good example.

 

[estamey21]

My personal rules:

1. Follow the rules of your gym and other relevant governing bodies (e.g. USAG Safe Sport, state laws, etc.).
2. If your gym has no official rules, don't give them a reason to implement rules or discipline you. Respect the honor system!
3. When in doubt, follow your heart and accept the consequences. No matter who you are or what you do, your beliefs and behaviors will be offensive to someone. This fact should not stop you from living your greatest life. But be prepared to accept (dare I say "embrace"?) the consequences of your actions if they are called into question.

 

[estamey21]

I’m not sure that I’d be happy if some gym kid pulled up pictures on their phone and showed my daughter her favorite coach twerking for dollar bills or something like that.

I would say it is more the parents job to block things than it is for a coach to be a good example.

I'm kind of on the fence about people who work in the childcare industry and the sex industry. I definitely think it's the parents' responsibility to censor content for their children. But I also think that these two professions are "oil and water," and it is risky to do them simultaneously.

Risky short term: You might lose your job.
Risky long term: You might unwittingly reinforce negative stereotypes that carry on to the next generation.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Feeling really old right now... what is OnlyFans?

The internet equivalent of a strip club. I hear some have found it quite lucrative in the covid era.

 

[estamey21]

To what extent do you think coaches are responsible for setting a positive example off the clock?

I was recently out shopping, picked up a bottle of whiskey, and ran into a former student on my way out of the liquor store; my immediate reflex was to hide the whiskey so she wouldn't see me with it (despite the fact that I don't even coach anymore), and it got me thinking about this.

When a coach is outside the gym and off the clock, are they still responsible for setting a positive example for any students they may run into? Is it okay for a coach to smoke cigarettes in public? Post pictures with drink in hand on social media? Have an OnlyFans? Smoke weed, or make social media posts supporting legalization?

(We're assuming here that none of this is done or discussed at the gym, and that the coach is showing up for work stone cold sober without smelling like booze/weed/tobacco, but that off-the-clock activities are something a student or parent could potentially stumble upon.)

Follow-up question:

What about coaches who have done something bad/tasteless/taboo before employment but are now upstanding citizens? Should these coaches be held to the same level of scrutiny as coaches who currently engage in bad/tasteless/taboo behavior?

Unfortunately—by the properties of the internet—some pasts are hard to hide. I'm curious to know if you think these two situations are different.

 

[Aussie_coach]

As a gym owner this is a big issue that we discuss regularly.

Our coaches are not allowed to connect with any gymnast or parent via social media.

But it all goes a lot further than just being a coach, anything you do or say in front of people, anything you do or say in public and anything you do or say on the internet can come back to haunt you.

Not just as a coach but for future jobs, future relationships etc. It's in all of our best interests to be wary of this.

As coaches we have chosen a profession which is about promoting a healthy lifestyle, I don't know many coaches (none at our gym) who smoke, or smoke weed (which is not legal anywhere in Australia). When you choose a job that is about fitness and keeping kids healthy usually that does fall in line with your belief system.

 

[JBS]

Our coaches are not allowed to connect with any gymnast or parent via social media.

I’m not really sure how this would work for us. We hire people from the local community that are already connected in real life and online with many of our customers. I would actually have to ask our last 6 hires to de-friend people before we hired them.

 

[WV Gym Mom]

Maybe its because we are in a small, more rural area, but I wouldn't expect our coaches and staff to uphold any particular standards in their private lives that I wouldn't expect any human to. I think its actually important for kids not to "idolize" coaches and think they are above the issues that all people face, and to see them as people. Should they be privately interacting with minors? Of course not, but I think that goes without saying. But as for drinking, smoking, partying, onlyfans, you name it...that is not my place to judge if its in their own time!

 

[Aussie_coach]

I’m not really sure how this would work for us. We hire people from the local community that are already connected in real life and online with many of our customers. I would actually have to ask our last 6 hires to de-friend people before we hired them.

It’s actually very rare for our coaches to have already had contact with the gymnasts or their families on social media prior to them becoming a coach.

We are located in a major city and we are a very large gym. It’s not one of those communities where everyone knows everyone.

The basic rule is, if you knew the family before
, from outside the gym, example if they were your neighbours it fine. If you met the family through the gym, they are clients and it’s not okay.

 

[JBS]

We are located in a major city and we are a very large gym. It’s not one of those communities where everyone knows everyone.

Got it... we are in a small town and serve a group of small towns. For example... we are in a town of approximately 9,500 people.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

As coaches we have chosen a profession which is about promoting a healthy lifestyle, I don't know many coaches (none at our gym) who smoke, or smoke weed (which is not legal anywhere in Australia). When you choose a job that is about fitness and keeping kids healthy usually that does fall in line with your belief system.

That is.... um.... a major cultural difference, it sounds like.

Between alcohol, tobacco, and weed, I think like 90% of coaches I've met consume a significant amount of at least one of those three.

(The other 10% are vegetarian teetotalers who run 10 miles every morning)