Anon Switching coaches

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Anonymous (6ea4)

Hey just looking for an outside point of view on a decision I’m trying to make. For a bit of background information I’m a level 8 gymnast trying to go 9 next season. This will be my last year of gymnastics as I am graduating. Recently my coach went off on surgery so I have been with a different coach since June and will be with her tell September.

I’ve been with this new coach for a few months now and she is absolutely amazing. She is so sweet and seems to truly care about alll her athletes. Before my coach went off on surgery she had given me what she would like to see in my level 9 routines. She had me working backhand backhands on beam for my connection but I really struggle with just a singular backhand spring as I was never taught proper basics for them so a backhand backhand is almost impossible for me to do. I asked my coach if I could do a connection with side Ariel in it but she refused. Anyways this new coach saw the BHBH was clearly not realistic and was much more understanding so she has started to let me work side Ariel round off as a connection. I was feeling a lot more confident and proud of myself as beam of as finally coming along.

Well my real coach came into watch and this new coach was scared she would get mad if I was works side Ariel round off so she told me to work BHBH that day. While my coach saw them on a low beam and was not happy at all she went on a rant about how they should be on a higher beam and that I wasn’t trying hard enough. She was super passive aggressive and asking me questions about what else I was working on cause I clearly hadn’t been working on BHBh hands. I explained to her that we were trying to fix the basics on my BHS but I was hesitant to tell her that I had also been working Ariel RO because I new she would get mad at the other coach. Anyway I ended up telling her that I was working a different connection and she was livid. Which I don’t understand why cause this connection will give me bonus. I ended up almost in tears about this and was so nervous the rest of practice that I would make her more mad. I had forgotten how anxious she can make me feel and honestly the entire day my gymnastics was off. Well at the end of the day this new coach pulled me aside to make sure I was ok and told me that i shouldn’t listen to my coach and that I should be proud of myself and the progress I have made. So the next day at practice I had a pretty scary fall and they ended up thinking I had a concussion so I had to go home early while I was waiting for my ride to pick me up I was approached by a different coach asking if I had ever considered switching coaches which yes I have but didn’t say that straight up. She kind of tried to hint at the idea but didn’t push too hard. Anyways turns out I didn’t have a concussion so when I went back to the gym the next day I was approached by our head coach and she also hinted at me switching coaches.

My parents want me to switch coaches and the other coaches want me to switch coaches my one friend in my group has already switched coaches and is trying to push me to switch coaches I want to switch coaches but then I don’t. My coach has known me since I was 3 and we share a special bond. In some ways I feel like I’m betraying her if I switch. But also this other coach is so kind and sweet but maybe that’s just because I have only been with her 2months. But this is not the first time I have had issues with my old coach. I thought I had made up my mind and told myself I would switch groups but then my coach texted me today asking how I was feel after my fall and it made me feel like I couldn’t leave her. Is there any point in switching coaches when I only have 1year left? I just don’t know what to do. Any advice?
If other staff/athletes at the gym and your parents are telling you to switch - I think that is very telling.
You said this coach makes you anxious. I am sure you have both changed since she started coaching you and maybe the relationship is not what it was or productive anymore.

In your situation there is no real point for the coach to make you stick with a skill she was unable to teach you correctly/fix when you only have a year left. Ideally you would be able to do it, and you should continue to try and fix it - but now is the time for other connections even if they may be seen as less progressive/harder to connect.

Ultimately if the head coach of the gym decided you were switching coaches would you be upset? If the answer is no - that tells you a lot - perhaps your parents can discuss it with the HC. I think at your age you can probably make a decision and be accountable for it, but if you are worried about your old coaches feelings -clearly they have some issues around keeping their emotions in check. Perhaps the decision was made by parents/HC.
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Ultimately you will need to do what is best for you. If a coach gives you anxiety, they are not the right coach for you, no matter how long they have been in your life. I think now is absolutely the right time to switch. If this is your last year, choose the coach that is going to make your last year an amazing one, choose the coach that will make it is fun final last year, choose the coach that helps you work on skills that work for you. Enjoy your final year!
You don't have to worry about hurting your old coach's feelings. You are not responsible for her, she is supposed to be responsible for you. You feeling anxious around her is a big sign that she's not the right fit for you. Do what makes you feel better.
Hey thought I would give a bit of an update. All your suggestions were super helpful. I ended up switching groups my new coach thought it would be good to blame it on the age gal between me and the rest of my group because there are more girls in her group that are closer to my age. She also thought that maybe I could train one day a week with her just to help me feel a bit better. Anyways I talked with my coach today letting her know I was switching groups and she straight up told me I was not allowed to trains with her. I think that hurt me the most. I’ve been with her for so long and now just because I’m switching groups she wants nothing to do with me. I feel a bit better now that she knows but also worse that she doesn’t want me training with her.
I am sorry that your old coach is being so unpleasant to you. If they really had your best interests at heart they would have supported your decision. It shows that you made the right choice.

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