Parents Switching gyms

[nettyinpa]

Well, I never thought I'd see the day that this would ever happen but it looks like it will. We will be changing gyms. This has not been an easy thing to deal with. Over the last couple of months, Olivia hasn't been training 100% because of a stress fracture to her ankle. Before she was diagnosed, the one coach never believed her when she said she was in pain, and made her work out anyway. My dd isn't one to complain. She's a hard worker and does as she's told. Then, recently, she started telling me more and more about how the coaches have been making the girls cry. She started dreading going to practice. This is not what I want for her. When she got released from the doctor to do tumbling on the tumble track and dismounts into the pit off the bar but still no vaulting or tumbling for another month, the coach didn't believe me! She was like, What???? No way. Um, yeah, why would I lie?

Well, with all that, plus a bunch of other issues that have happened over the last few months, I've had it. Our gym has a tendency to cater to the few they think will succeed. The rest of us are just there to help pay the bills, IMHO. Plus, we are a team of 8 girls. We share the 2 main coaches with the Lev.7/8 girls. We have a 3rd coach 75% of the time. Had I known that this would happen, I may have made a switch sooner. We went to visit another gym a couple times over the last 2 weeks and she loved it. She wanted to go back, not continue on with her current gym. Last Saturday she actually cried when I told her we weren't visiting the other gym again at that point. Well, I took her there last night and she loved it, once again. So, dh and I have to take care of some carpooling issues but it looks the the switch will be happening!

Sorry to get so wordy. Just needed to vent to those that understand!

 

[Blackie6]

Nettyinpa

Can't type too much, on hubby's laptop...just wanted to give you a ((HUG)) cause I know this is hard. I felt the same pain and frustrations last year when we made our change. Ours wasn't for coaching though, so I imagine this really hurts you more knowing that they've been verbally abusive, and not believing a child's injury is just not acceptable. There are greener floor mats at other gyms, lol, and both of you will survive and make new friends. As long as gymnastics is still in her heart than all will be well at new gym. Sounds like she likes it already! Now the the foot is healed it's time for her heart to mend too. I would leave ASAP. You'll probably see familiar faces of others who left for same reasons.

 

[nettyinpa]

Yeah, there's a former member there that just moved over a few months ago. I haven't heard dd complain about the coaches until recently so I never gave it a second thought. She just doesn't seem happy there any more so why stay? We'll leave on good terms, it won't be a bad thing. I'd like to keep it a positive thing for everyone, especially her.

 

[gymnut1]

A lot of it is to do with trust. She will have lost her trust in the coach that didn't believe she was in pain. Even with the best will in the world on both sides that is hard to regain. Definitely a good time to start again elsewhere on a positive note. Hope it all goes well.

 

[bogwoppit]

Congrats on making a choice, and being able to leave without any drama. I know your club and I can understand how the environment might not be the best fit.

Thrilled that you have found a new gym that seems to be a great fit. Good luck with the switch and let us know how it goes.

 

[mariposa]

HUGS! Switching gyms is hard, but I think you are making the right decision. Your daughter isn't happy and who would be in that situation?

I can't believe the coach didn't believe her about her injury and that they questioned you when you told them her limitations. We are going through an injury and there is no proven fracture, but her coaches have been fully supportive of her taking it easy and have respected my choice to err heavily on the side of caution. Your daughter has a proven injury and a doctor directing her care, they should respect those decisions.

Good luck to her at her new gym!!

 

[gymjourneymom]

(((hugs))) to you & DD! Sounds like this a switch that HAS to happen. As gymnut says, your DD can't trust those coaches anymore. Time to move on. She deserves to have coaches that have her best interests at heart. Good Luck at the new gym!!!

 

[MdGymMom01]

Big hugs to you as well (((HUGS))). Switching gyms and going into the unknown is always hard but like everyone has already said, TRUST is something that needs to happen between a coach and a gymnast. And also, your dd being happy is a very important factor (if not the most important). Good luck and keep us posted! I am sure your dd will do great at her new gym!

 

[ZJsMom]

Good luck with the switch. My dd changed gyms last year. I know it can be hard at first, but you'll be surprised how quickly she adjusts.

 

[Pickle's Mom]

I now this sound cliche, but the hardest part is making the decision to switch. Everything that follows is easier as long as you don't waste time second guessing yourself.

 

[gymmom14]

Good luck to you on your decision. I know it must be hard. Remember all things happen for a reason and this move is the right decision.

 

[thnkGd4kds]

You definitely are making the right decision; I wouldn't want my daughter in that environment, either. How insulting to your dd and you that her coaches didn't really believe either of you regarding her injury, and it's awful to treat kids the disrespectful way that they obviously do.

While your dd may have to work to establish trust with her new coaches, I think it will be easier for her since she knows that you are watching out for her and are sensitive to the situations she is in, ready to take action if need be.

 

[NOG]

I'm so sorry that you have been put in this position! Good luck in your transition!

 

[Granny Smith]

Sorry to hear about the displeasure with dd's gym, but the fact that you have made up your mind to switch will make the transition easy (plus the fact that your dd is already sold on the new gym .)

Good luck with pulling everything together!

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I can TOTALLY relate to what you are going through. My DD Alex had a stress fracture on the top of her foot that at first could not be seen on the x-rays. In fact it took a whole month before they saw anything on x-ray. During that time that we were unsure the coaches were not to easy on her. So much so that some of the other gymnasts were starting to think she was faking it and starting to call her "faker". What I did was have Alex bring a note from the Dr. to the gym outlining what she could and could not do until it was healed. I too have been contemplating a switch. Best of luck to ya'll in the switch. It sounds like it will be an easy one since your DD seems to be totally ready!!!

 

[nettyinpa]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. It really makes me feel better about our decision. Last night was the last straw. She went to ask the coach to tape her and he actually said to her, "your ankle is fine, you don't need the tape any more!! Who says you need tape?" She responds that her doctor said she has to remain taped for the rest of the year, whenever she's at practice. Well, her coach says back to her, well, your doctor's stupid. OMG! I was in total disbelief and shock at that response. How dare him ignore a doctor's order and my dd's desire to not want to hurt herself!! Tell you what, he just made our decision even easier.

I do have another dilema, though. Our sectional meet is April 24-25th. What gym should she compete with? The new gym wants her but wants her to start next week. Or, do I make her stick it out, compete with her team or do we make the switch now? She's so close to these girls, they're like sisters, been together for almost 5 years. It won't be easy but I think it may be in her best interest to move ~ NOW!! Any advice?

 

[gymmomntc2e6]

I would move her now. We had a girl switch to our gym 2-3 weeks before States. She didn't want to stay even through States. She did great.

 

[Swiftli]

Will she still be able to compete sectionals and states if you switch? If so, I would think the new gym would want her in now to get used to the new girls and coaches before sectionals.

There is going to be no perfect time to jump over but if the coach isn't providing her with a safe enviroment...I say jump now!



on a side note-- I too am on that proverbial fence of do I stay or go to a new gym. I know there is drama everywhere you go but really...how much is enough. I think with your safety concerns...enough would be enough for me.

 

[gym law mom]

We went through something very similar at our previous gym. Gymmie had a knee problem and the main coach basically told her there was nothing wrong and to suck it up and keep practicing. When we took her to an ortho who was a knee specialist, he had her sit for 2 weeks and then gradually increase activity with PT guidance. In all, it was about 6 weeks before she was allowed to practice all 4 events. Funny, she was a L6 at the time also.

We could see she started putting distance between herself and the coach--didn't really trust him anymore and didn't feel he really cared about her. Yes, this gym is like yours---trains some kids up to elite and others are simply window dressing paying the bills. Looking back, I wish we would have left that gym before we did. When we finally left, gymmie took alot of emotional baggage with her.

My advice would be to switch gyms NOW. Don't chance her getting injured because a coach won't tape her ankle or having her feel horrible about herself. She needs to find that enjoyment again in gymnastics and the sooner the better.

 

[bogwoppit]

I would've been out of there last night. To tell your little girl that the qualified professional is stupid is beyond belief and is creeping down a road that no adult should go with a child entrusted to his care. Kind of creeps me out.

Your DD will adjust quickly with a new gym and a meet right around the corner. Staying where the coach does not care for her physical, or mental, well being cannot be good for her or you.

For me always safety first, emotional safety is just as important as physical safety.