For Parents Switching gyms

[raven23]

Long time lurker...first time poster.

My DD has been with one gym since she was 4 years old. She has just finished JO Level 4. Her season was good, if not great: She medaled at most meets, although she did not medal at State.

We recently had a parent meeting with the coaches where JO parents were in attendance. The coaches explained the gym philosophy and then gave out envelopes that had letters explaining where each girl was going: Moving up a level, repeating a level, going to Xcel, or going to AAU. It was the first time we had any sort of meeting like that, and it was a bit strange.

Here's the issue: My DD has always had problems with one of her 3 coaches. He likes quiet, subdued kids, which she is not. The other two coaches like her and work with her personality no problem, but this coach has no tolerance for her. He has made her cry in the past, and has stopped coaching her. Is she perfect? Of course not. Did I mention he co-owns the gym?

Well, of course the moms all talk: My DD was the only one asked to go to Xcel despite having a better season that many of the other girls. The letter stated that would be better for her since "she is a less serious gymnast".

So, we are switching gyms. Another gym wants her. I can only suspect that it's her disconnect with this coach that has caused this decision to be made. Should I have a conversation with the other two coaches, or is this a waste of time considering their coaching partner is basically their co-boss?

 

[Seeker]

I would leave - just say she wants to continue JO so will do so at another gym. As a co-owner, he’s not going anywhere.

 

[raven23]

I would leave - just say she wants to continue JO so will do so at another gym. As a co-owner, he’s not going anywhere.

That's what I thought - thanks. I don't want to flame out of there because she still has friends there, and no doubt we will see them at meets. It's just a shame because she has spent literally half her life there.

 

[Seeker]

That's what I thought - thanks. I don't want to flame out of there because she still has friends there, and no doubt we will see them at meets. It's just a shame because she has spent literally half her life there.

Definitely agree - be friendly, gracious, thank them, etc. They essentially asked you to leave if you want to stay in jo, so this is their doing. But you’ll certainly see them, so always be nice as you walk away. It is a shame, but hopefully will be better for her in the long run.

 

[amiandjim]

Exactly what Seeker said!

 

[Really]

Make the switch, and never doubt your daughter's ability to be in JO. I've seen the exact situation you're describing happen so many times, I wonder if you're from my DD's old gym. The families in question who made the gym switch have had their gymnasts thrive in optionals, with coaches who believe in them. Usually it was a failure on the part of the former coach to work with certain types of personalities, or they did not want to invest time in working with older gymnasts. Don't give that coach another thought and get your daughter happily settled in her new gym. Her former teammates will understand your choice.

 

[raven23]

Make the switch, and never doubt your daughter's ability to be in JO. I've seen the exact situation you're describing happen so many times, I wonder if you're from my DD's old gym. The families in question who made the gym switch have had their gymnasts thrive in optionals, with coaches who believe in them. Usually it was a failure on the part of the former coach to work with certain types of personalities, or they did not want to invest time in working with older gymnasts. Don't give that coach another thought and get your daughter happily settled in her new gym. Her former teammates will understand your choice.

Thank you! I doubt we are at the same gym, but apparently this problem is pretty common sometimes with certain personalities. Hey, not everyone clicks with each other: As an adult, I don't click with every adult out there. However, as one person told me, we parents pay for the coaching. When someone stops coaching your kid, it's a problem.

Thanks everyone!

 

[Aussie_coach]

Interesting that they would make the assumption that she is a less “serious” gymnast.

Each gym/coach, of course, has their own preferences for the ‘type’ of gymnast they are looking for for their team. And a lot of the time it comes down to the ones who have personalities they prefer, not the greatest talent.

Was there any negotiation allowed at all? Can a parent say, my kid wants to do JO, will you reconsider. Or is it totally set in stone?

 

[sce]

Interesting that they would make the assumption that she is a less “serious” gymnast.

Each gym/coach, of course, has their own preferences for the ‘type’ of gymnast they are looking for for their team. And a lot of the time it comes down to the ones who have personalities they prefer, not the greatest talent.

Was there any negotiation allowed at all? Can a parent say, my kid wants to do JO, will you reconsider. Or is it totally set in stone?

My daughter at 7yo was told she would move up to pre-team when she could be less silly. No definition of the behaviors that were too silly, Just a peronality judgement. She worked hard, she just had a lot of fun doing it. The other, ironically more strict, pre-team teacher took her and never complained about her being too silly.

 

[raven23]

This coach prefers quiet kids. Here’s what I mean: The girls are lined up to do Tumble Track and there are about a dozen girls waiting to do their stuff. One girl goes at a time. These are 8/9/10/11 year olds and they are in their 2nd hour of practice. He wants no talking - just watch the other girls before you. That’s great in practice, but unrealistic. Kids will whisper to each other, shuffle, look down, etc. he wants eyes forward at all times and silence. If you don’t comply, you do push ups. Once, one kid ended up doing 80 pushups. This was a less serious gymnast.

My kid is not perfect, but she’s a kid - she’s not supposed to be perfect. Kids have left over the years for a variety of reasons, but this coach is sometimes named as one of them.

 

[CLgym]

We made a gym switch for the same reason -- first gym said my DD was Xcel only (not because of her personality - but because of body type preferences at that gym). After one year of Xcel Bronze, we switched gyms so my DD could compete JO (L4 at age 8, L6 at age 9, L7 at age 10). She loves her new gym -- well, it's not new any more! -- and continues to make steady progress although she is rarely top of the podium.

We left old gym on good terms, and I am always friendly with the old gym owner/coaches whenever we bump into them. Prior to leaving, I did have several communications (mostly by email) with DD's Xcel coaches to ask whether a HC would reconsider DD for JO after her very successful Bronze season. They checked with HC and the answer was pretty clearly no -- or at least not in the foreseeable future. So we left.

Good luck. Changing gyms is no fun, but you'll probably be surprised at how quickly you and your daughter acclimate! And honestly, even if she were allowed to stay in JO, it doesn't sound like an ideal coaching situation for her anyway!

 

[jamieintexas]

This coach prefers quiet kids. Here’s what I mean: The girls are lined up to do Tumble Track and there are about a dozen girls waiting to do their stuff. One girl goes at a time. These are 8/9/10/11 year olds and they are in their 2nd hour of practice. He wants no talking - just watch the other girls before you. That’s great in practice, but unrealistic. Kids will whisper to each other, shuffle, look down, etc. he wants eyes forward at all times and silence. If you don’t comply, you do push ups. Once, one kid ended up doing 80 pushups. This was a less serious gymnast.

My kid is not perfect, but she’s a kid - she’s not supposed to be perfect. Kids have left over the years for a variety of reasons, but this coach is sometimes named as one of them.

12 kids in a line is too many. There is absolutely no way to keep that many quiet, plus what a gigantic waste of time. There should be side stations, plus that is a large group. Was a coach out sick or is this normal?

 

[raven23]

12 kids in a line is too many. There is absolutely no way to keep that many quiet, plus what a gigantic waste of time. There should be side stations, plus that is a large group. Was a coach out sick or is this normal?

It's a small gym and they share with the boys. It's hard to get kids to every side station and some of the teams overlap and share coaches.

 

[John]

This coach prefers quiet kids. Here’s what I mean: The girls are lined up to do Tumble Track and there are about a dozen girls waiting to do their stuff. One girl goes at a time. These are 8/9/10/11 year olds and they are in their 2nd hour of practice. He wants no talking - just watch the other girls before you. That’s great in practice, but unrealistic. Kids will whisper to each other, shuffle, look down, etc. he wants eyes forward at all times and silence. If you don’t comply, you do push ups. Once, one kid ended up doing 80 pushups. This was a less serious gymnast.

My kid is not perfect, but she’s a kid - she’s not supposed to be perfect. Kids have left over the years for a variety of reasons, but this coach is sometimes named as one of them.

Find a gym that appreciates kids and has high expectations for gymnastics and the same high expectations for fun, these are kids.