I’m wondering if the 7s and 8s are older than your daughter? None of us can really know what’s going on without being there, but it sounds like this is a mixed optionals training group. Many of our Level 7s and 8s are 10-14 years old. An 8 year old Level 6 has all the time in the world to work through optionals levels and is probably lacking in strength/conditioning just due to the sheer amount of time the other girls have been training compared to her. If we’re assuming the most neutral motivations ever, the coach probably doesn’t feel the same time crunch to get your daughter to a certain level as she does the older/higher level optionals girls.
The tearing up thing: our gym is pretty strict about that. Yes, once in a while a kid is going to get overwhelmed or emotional, and they excuse themselves to the bathroom or take a break by the chalk to take some breaths. But if it’s to the point of missing stations or conditioning, then she needs to learn to manage it. By even Level 6, skills get legitimately dangerous, and a coach can’t necessarily take a break from spotting to check on someone who is emotionally overwhelmed. It’s also distracting to the rest of the athletes and can shift the mood of a workout in a bad way.
The favorites thing? Can’t do anything about it. I’ve seen it happen since my daughter’s mommy and me rec class days. When girls are training different skills and are different ages, it’s even harder to pin down true favoritism versus different athletes needing different levels of attention.