For Parents Tearing up during practice and favoritism

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On every event, my younger DD 8 in level 6 says that she tears up because her coach is devoting all her time to a level 7 and 8 so she is not improving. She says that her coach always yells at her on her form, but at her last comp she scored above 9.5 on every event. She says that her coach dislikes and makes her do extra conditioning. The level 7 always i mean always is with her coach talking and sucking up to her coach. My DD is not very happy and she says she tears up and tries to hide it but then her coach gets mad at her for not working. Help please
 
then she said that my DD was just being sensitive... but I watched practice yesterday...
 
Sorry your kiddo is going through this. Is she a sensitive kid outside of gymnastics? What is the coach to athlete ratio? Is it possible the other gymnasts are learning new skills that require more spotting/attention from the coach, so it feels like she's getting less attention? For reference, I notice there are times on our team where a certain girl/group of girls gets more individual coaching but it's always because they are about to throw a new skill outside of the pit/tramp, etc so the coaches are making sure they are ready. I do not have a problem with this and appreciate it actually.
 
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I’m wondering if the 7s and 8s are older than your daughter? None of us can really know what’s going on without being there, but it sounds like this is a mixed optionals training group. Many of our Level 7s and 8s are 10-14 years old. An 8 year old Level 6 has all the time in the world to work through optionals levels and is probably lacking in strength/conditioning just due to the sheer amount of time the other girls have been training compared to her. If we’re assuming the most neutral motivations ever, the coach probably doesn’t feel the same time crunch to get your daughter to a certain level as she does the older/higher level optionals girls.

The tearing up thing: our gym is pretty strict about that. Yes, once in a while a kid is going to get overwhelmed or emotional, and they excuse themselves to the bathroom or take a break by the chalk to take some breaths. But if it’s to the point of missing stations or conditioning, then she needs to learn to manage it. By even Level 6, skills get legitimately dangerous, and a coach can’t necessarily take a break from spotting to check on someone who is emotionally overwhelmed. It’s also distracting to the rest of the athletes and can shift the mood of a workout in a bad way.

The favorites thing? Can’t do anything about it. I’ve seen it happen since my daughter’s mommy and me rec class days. When girls are training different skills and are different ages, it’s even harder to pin down true favoritism versus different athletes needing different levels of attention.
 
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After seeing the ages of the other girls, I agree with bailing out. It sounds like a small group/gym with expectations of hitting higher levels early and not a great atmosphere in general. There is other stuff out there that is equally fun for an athletic girl!
 
This situation does not seem good for her mental health. Talk to the owner. Ask the owner to watch practice. If things don’t change before the end of the season, tell your daughter that her mental health is more important than any one sport. As a parent tell her to try a few different sports this summer and make a final decision before you commit to team for the next season.
 
On every event, my younger DD 8 in level 6 says that she tears up because her coach is devoting all her time to a level 7 and 8 so she is not improving. She says that her coach always yells at her on her form, but at her last comp she scored above 9.5 on every event. She says that her coach dislikes and makes her do extra conditioning. The level 7 always i mean always is with her coach talking and sucking up to her coach. My DD is not very happy and she says she tears up and tries to hide it but then her coach gets mad at her for not working. Help please
If there is no other gym nearby - find another sport. This is not worth it.