Parents The dreaded mental block

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MerriWeather

Proud Parent
Hi! My daughter is a competitive level three with just three meets under her belt so far. She is on a team of 8, and the only one to not do her roundoff back handspring and her beam dismount. :(

The thing is, she CAN, and when she does, it's really good! But she's got a mental block and is struggling to the point of tears last week. :( I did find an awesome video from a sports psychologist that seems to have helped her a bit, but I'm not sure what else I can do as a parent other than encourage, remind her that her coach really isn't doing anything (just there, not even with an arm out), etc.

This is the video I had her watch that seemed to help her a bit:

After trying those techniques, she did do her roundoff back handspring on the rod floor, but now she has to do it on the regular floor.
 
I don't know if this video link will work, but it's a clip of her doing one unassisted last week. You can see she sure doesn't look like she is struggling... :confused:

 
If she likes to read I recommend a book called "Bring Your 'A' Game". If she is on the young side (like under 12) you may want to pre-read it and have her read the chapters you think she will benefit from.
 
I have absolutely no advise but I've been there and just want to say it is so frustratingly common.

Lol I had a long response but decided it really wasn't going to help so I deleted it!

Really just wanted to send positive vibes and tell you it's common. Different things work for different kids . Hang in there . All I will say. Try not to talk about it to much outside the gym .
And give her time
 
My YDD is also having a rough time with the ROBHS. I just keep telling her to trust herself and her coaches. No other advice-just know you are not alone. :)
 
When my kids have the occasional mental block I do three things.
1. tell the parents NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT
2. Back off of the skill, (or remove it if the blocks are spreading)
3. DOC ALLY
My definition of a mental block is not going or stopping mid skill.
 
I don't know if this video link will work, but it's a clip of her doing one unassisted last week. You can see she sure doesn't look like she is struggling... :confused:



Sommer, you have the privacy settings set so we cannot see the video if you want it public then change the video setting to public ( the little globe). Instead, I recommend that you leave it private and change your username and photo to something more generic. We are a large forum and most of us prefer not to be found in our public lives. If you want to change your username start a" conversation" with me or with Bogwoppit and let us know the new name you would like to use and we will make the change for you.
 
CoachP - what is "DOC ALLY"?

I know I can link a FB photo despite privacy settings - wasn't sure if it's the same with a video. Here is a repost that should work, though the quality went to crap when I converted it to a format that would work. Hopefully you get the idea:



So the thing is, she won't do it on the regular floor which means she stops in a meet and only does the round off. :confused:
 
What she does in the video is fine. She should attempt that hundreds of times. This may require privates but otherwise I agree with coachp to back off it. Just arrange the lessons if that will allow her the repetitions she needs. And let the coach go from there.

She shouldn't even be attempting it in competition if she's never done it in the routine before. She would be better served doing hundreds of what she did in the video instead of routines. Until SHE is the one begging to move on. I have them do standing BHS and then at some point the kid tells me "I want to do two" and then they do two BHS. Then they are ready. They always tell me. Some kids will do this in a month, some in six or more months.

Have a kid with a similar issue, had perfect RO BHS then lost it, I just stopped her doing BHS for three months then the other day she begged me to let her do them on a mat, I said "sure" she did a hundred and begged to do more. It is often out of their conscious control , if you push it then they will lose confidence and possibly want to quit the sport. It's better to just wait for it to pass - their body catches up.

But I guess that is mostly the coach's decisions. I would just make sure the coach knows you're okay with DD not attempting it in competition. Personally I think that is likely making it worse.
 
I was thinking about this last night, and a lot of the advice is "don't talk about it at home". But what happens when she holds it together in practice and then sobs the whole way home? I can't NOT talk about it, right? We encourage her and tell her it's normal, I give her examples of when it happened to me as a gymnast, and I showed her a YouTube video about sports and concentration. We don't bring it up otherwise, but if she's sobbing her eyes out, I do feel like she wants more from us than just a pat on the back.
 
When my kids have the occasional mental block I do three things.
1. tell the parents NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT
2. Back off of the skill, (or remove it if the blocks are spreading)
3. DOC ALLY
My definition of a mental block is not going or stopping mid skill.
=
oops sorry
ALI not ALLY, :)
 
I was thinking about this last night, and a lot of the advice is "don't talk about it at home". But what happens when she holds it together in practice and then sobs the whole way home? I can't NOT talk about it, right? We encourage her and tell her it's normal, I give her examples of when it happened to me as a gymnast, and I showed her a YouTube video about sports and concentration. We don't bring it up otherwise, but if she's sobbing her eyes out, I do feel like she wants more from us than just a pat on the back.

No she shouldn't hold it in. What you need to be careful with is adding more pressure and making it into a big deal. My daughter did not want to talk about it. When I tucked her in I would ask how she was feeling and if she wanted to talk about it and with very little exception she did not. She was 11 at the time and I printed an article or two out for her and suggested she watch some old videos of herself doing the skill. Don't know if that helps at all. It's such a difficult thing for everyone - the gymnast, the coaches and the parents.
 
Well, I feel like things are getting worse. She's still only doing her ROBH on the rod floor and now other teammates are doing ROBHx2 and she still can't/won't do one. She was in tears last night. It's not just floor at this point.

I don't know what to tell her. She said her coach tells her to do X and she is trying, but her coach keeps telling her she's not doing it. She says, "I AM doing it, I am doing what she tells me but she says I am not!" and she says she doesn't know how to work any harder than she is. I suggested when the coach is saying she isn't doing something and she feels like she is, that she should tell the coach she feels like she is doing what she was told, so maybe the coach can explain it a different way? I just don't know.

She's getting so distraught and I want to help her, but I am at a loss. :(
 
Well, I feel like things are getting worse. She's still only doing her ROBH on the rod floor and now other teammates are doing ROBHx2 and she still can't/won't do one. She was in tears last night. It's not just floor at this point.

I don't know what to tell her. She said her coach tells her to do X and she is trying, but her coach keeps telling her she's not doing it. She says, "I AM doing it, I am doing what she tells me but she says I am not!" and she says she doesn't know how to work any harder than she is. I suggested when the coach is saying she isn't doing something and she feels like she is, that she should tell the coach she feels like she is doing what she was told, so maybe the coach can explain it a different way? I just don't know.

She's getting so distraught and I want to help her, but I am at a loss. :(
==
She just got one, it's going to take time .
 
The coach and you need to let it go for now. If she's doing it on rod floor I still don't understand the problem. I put them where they can do it, when they're ready they go to next step. Doesn't matter is the other girls are doing double backs. She is not getting worse, she is just on a different step. Reiterate to coach and DD that it is okay if she does not compete floor and in fact would likely be best until she gains more confidence. And inquire about the possibility of private lessons so she can have more repetitions where she's comfortable.
 

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