Parents Time to consider a switch?

DON'T LURK... Join The Discussion!

Members see FEWER ads

Akl597

Proud Parent
You guys have given me great advice in the past, so hoping you can help me out again! Sorry this will be long!

We have been at our gym for 5 years. My older daughter is almost 11 and has competed L3 the last 2 seasons. She has worked hard and is finally ready to move to L4. It's a big deal for her to stay with her friends and I think this may be her last season. I'm doubt she'll be ready to move up (current gym skips 5 and goes right to 6) next year and I think she may choose to do new things once she gets to middle school.

My younger daughter is 8 and competed L4 last year. She broke her arm in August falling off the high bar, right before the beginning of the season, then had another injury, and then some emotional issues and anxiety getting over the injuries. She didn't have a great season, but placed 8th on bars at the state meet. Since then she has been doing great at practice. According to her latest evaluation, she is on track to move to L6 next season. But they told me she only has a 50/50 chance of moving up. All the other girls were told they would train 6 for the summer and then the final decision would be made. But we were told she may train 6 or she may stay at 4, even though it seems like she has similar skills. They also gave me a hard time about taking a lot of vacations over the last couple months.

They have also decided to introduce an invite only turbo group starting in the summer which will continue into next year. Only some of the girls were chosen (mine were not) and it has seemed very secretive. In the past they have always told us that all girls can benefit from turbo, and it was open to everyone. I'm not surprised my older one wasn't selected, but I am surprised my little one wasn't. She's the youngest one on the team, is super strong, and super flexible. I'm upset about the new philosophy on invite only, and I also feel like maybe they are overlooking her since she didn't compete well last season.

On top of that, we have been thinking about moving closer to school, which would take us farther from the gym. I'm wondering if now is the right time to start looking for a gym in the direction we would like to move. Our gym is very strong and is consistently at the top of the state at all levels. The other gyms that are closer do not have consistently good teams. I would feel terrible moving my older one away from her friends, but I'm upset about the new developments that are happening. Thoughts? Am I overreacting?
 
If you are thinking of moving because of your life, absolutely look at other gyms in super secret mode. If your gym finds out they may kick you out immediately.
 
I agree if ur moving because life choices then have a look closer. However in regards to your youngest. We get many parents at our gym who don’t understand there are lots of reasons behind a gymnast not moving up a level. And not many gymnasts go through gymnastics not repeating. Sometimes it’s skills. Sometimes it’s age. Sometimes it is even due to injury. It is so important to realise that repeating a level is not a bad thing. With gymnastics you have to give leeway for a year of puberty and a year of injury. As ur little one has recently been injured the coaches may not want to push ur child into a situation if she is not ready whether she feels like she is or not the coaches would have ur gymnasts best interest at heart. (Hopefully) there is no problem with giving your youngest the chance to improve on her strength and skills to then when she does move up be completely prepared. It is a huge jump from level 4 to 6. I’m not sure why ur gym skips 5 but to then move on after level 6 to levels 7-10 it is even harder.

In regards to the selected group she may not have been chosen now again for reasons like age, time to fully recover from injury or her skills. She may be chosen in the future. She is still at a good age where she won’t be discouraged to take a step back and let her go through her reps and take advantage of the time she has to recover from her injury and come back even stronger

I know it is always so hard when people say don’t compare your gymnast to others in the gym but with this situation I think you might have to just not stress about the other gymnasts being selected for certain things and moving up as every gymnast has their own path. And your gymnast deffinatly won’t be impacted negatively in any way if she does repeate level 4 and if she doesn’t get chosen right now for the selected training as she has plenty of time to become stronger and better herself where when she is ready for level 6 she will kick butt even harder and be able to achieve the level to her 100 percent.
 
She broke her arm in August falling off the high bar, right before the beginning of the season, then had another injury, and then some emotional issues and anxiety getting over the injuries. She didn't have a great season, but placed 8th on bars at the state meet. Since then she has been doing great at practice. According to her latest evaluation, she is on track to move to L6 next season. But they told me she only has a 50/50 chance of moving up. All the other girls were told they would train 6 for the summer and then the final decision would be made. But we were told she may train 6 or she may stay at 4, even though it seems like she has similar skills. They also gave me a hard time about taking a lot of vacations over the last couple months.

They are probably looking at the bigger picture with your younger DD and possibly a perceived lack of commitment on your part with the vacations. The jump from 4 to 5 (or 4 to 6) is big. Especially on bars. They might be figuring that she needs more time to get the skills and if your family lifestyle takes your kids out of the gym more frequently, it may be more difficult for her to get the skills. Your DD's fears may just be short-lived and a direct result of her injury. Or this may be part of who she is and the coaches are anticipating a longer curve getting her to the next level.

I'm sure you know this already but lots of gyms skip either L5 or L6. The jump from 4 to these levels is about the same and L6 can be easier than L5.
 
They are probably looking at the bigger picture with your younger DD and possibly a perceived lack of commitment on your part with the vacations. The jump from 4 to 5 (or 4 to 6) is big. Especially on bars. They might be figuring that she needs more time to get the skills and if your family lifestyle takes your kids out of the gym more frequently, it may be more difficult for her to get the skills. Your DD's fears may just be short-lived and a direct result of her injury. Or this may be part of who she is and the coaches are anticipating a longer curve getting her to the next level.

I'm sure you know this already but lots of gyms skip either L5 or L6. The jump from 4 to these levels is about the same and L6 can be easier than L5.
I was thinking that the perceived lack of commitment might be part of why OP's younger DD didnt get asked to the turbo group too.
 
If it make sense to look for another gym because of location/logistics, then you should certainly shop around. However, if you are considering the move because of the current gym situation, then I might consider waiting a year. When I balance your considerations, I personally tip in favor of giving your oldest DD an opportunity to compete Level 4 with her gym friends since it is likely her last season. You might also find it is hard to find a new gym home for her given age/level. And it sounds like your younger DD is still on track for Level 6 consideration (you indicated that her level next year was still undecided), so no real damage there.

With respect to the turbo group, how does your younger DD feel about it? Is she upset (or are you)? Does it impact her regular practice group, or is just like an extra day of practice? Have you talked to coaches about what needs to happen in order for your DD to be considered? In my limited experience, some type of invite-only group/track is pretty common. At our current gym, it is the TOPS group. There are always some ruffled feathers when selections are made (trust me, I've been there!), but if the coaching is good and your kid is still making progress, then it's probably not worth jumping ship quite yet. I mean, the turbo group hasn't even started yet. See how it goes. Also, a wise CB veteran once reminded me that coaches are not going to walk away from a super talent; it's to the gym's benefit to foster the growth of their gymnasts. So trust the process. Try not to compare ("why was this girl picked but mine was not"). And you might find that your younger DD (given time to progress without injuries, etc.) finds her way into the turbo group in the future. She sounds like a talented kid!

Just my two cents... Good luck.
 
CLgym gave excellent advice above. I am in agreement that you've got time and it's in the better interest of your older dd to stay put one more year and let her enjoy what is likely going to be her last year in the sport. What I've seen time and again with the younger, stronger gymnasts that seem to be "held back" or "overlooked" is that the parents get upset, which upsets the gymnast and then they pull the gymnast to look for greener pastures. Sometimes it works in their favor, sometimes it doesn't, but nearly every single time I've heard from the coach later that they had a plan for that gymnast and are disappointed that they didn't get a chance to see it through. If you are happy with the gym in general and happy with the coaching, then I think it's ok to trust the plan. Your younger dd is 8, even if she repeats 4 she'll be on track to compete level 6 by age 10 which is still fantastic. I think you can afford to wait a year to make a decision about moving gyms - it gives your older dd a great final season and it gives you a chance to see what the coaches want to do with your younger dd.

Best wishes and good luck!
 
I think that if you are looking to move gyms because of your family/ life situation, I would go ahead and do it. If it is a reaction due to the groupings, I would caution you to not be hasty. I think that your DD has been through a LOT this past year. And she is young. I would think there are possibly a couple of things going on here- the coaches could feel that she needs a less stressed pace due to her age and injuries as well as the anxiety from her injury this year, or they think that possibly your family does not WANT to have the kind of commitment that a "turbo" group would require. They could also just feel that she has time and there is no need to push hard right now. My DD is a L9 (one more meet to go!) and has always been "the youngest" in her group by a year or so. There have been times that other girls were selected for things that she wished that she was picked to do. However, I always told her that a training group is just a group. What you do in that group, what you do with the coaching that you receive is what makes the difference. Just because a kid is in the "super star" group does NOT mean that the kid in the "stinky terrible" group can't really focus and work extremely hard, absorbing every correction that she gets and progress faster and do BETTER than the "super star" kid. I also have told her (heck, all of my kids!) that if you don't trust the coach to put you in the correct group for YOU, then you don't trust the coach - and we need to go elsewhere. If we can't trust that they know what is best on that small thing of a training group, then we can't trust that they will spot you correctly, progress you correctly, heck keep you alive and in one piece! Deep breath, let it sit a few days or a week and see how things look then. Hugs to you!
 
Thanks for the advice everyone - you make some great points and as usual, have managed to talk me off the ledge. I'm thinking we will stay put for now and see how things play out. Thanks again!
It wouldn’t be out of line for you to respectfully ask for an opportunity for your younger dd to be allowed to try the turbo group. Clarify your/her desire and commitment and maybe ask for a trial period?
 
It wouldn’t be out of line for you to respectfully ask for an opportunity for your younger dd to be allowed to try the turbo group. Clarify your/her desire and commitment and maybe ask for a trial period?

If she trains 6 for the summer and stays at 6, then I will probably leave things as is. If she stays at 4 or they move her back to 4 after the summer, I will absolutely ask for her to be included in the turbo group. She'll need to keep working on more advanced skills so she doesn't lose them or get bored. Either way I would like to understand the criteria for selection and the goal of the group. I think a lot of this could have been avoided with some communication explaining what is happening. Some of the other girls have been very upset about it (I'm not sure mine even know what's happening - I'm not planning to say anything unless they bring it up). I know it's hard when they are managing so many girls and so many details, but a quick note to help us understand the changes would have gone a long way to preventing some of the upset it's caused.
 
Quick update: I emailed the coach and she is still 50/50 on whether dd should move up or stay at 4. She says some days she thinks she'll do great at 6 and some days she doesn't have the skills or the maturity (I question this, she is only 8 but she is definitely mature, so not sure what she means by this). Meanwhile, dd wants to stay at 4 because she wants to get higher scores. But it seems like she has most, if not all, of her skills (at least according to her). And if it was up to her, she would have stayed at 3 last year - she doesn't love change. Should I push to have her train 6 for the summer and then make the final decision, tell them she wants to stay at 4, or just keep my mouth shut and accept whatever they decide? I'm guessing it's option 3, but it's so hard.

On the turbo front, I also got more information there. They have 9 criteria, and the selected girls need to meet all 9. Apparently they made this switch in the fall, but I'm not sure anyone on the compulsory team was invited at that time. During the school year, turbo starts at 1:30, so anyone participating needs to pull their kids from school. I'm not willing to do that, so it doesn't really matter if they invite her or not.
 
My dd had been in a similar situation. Lots of injuries level 6 year and summer before level 7. Was on the cusp of moving up then got injured again. Got her skills back and was able to move up midseason if she wanted to. What she wanted all year suddenly was not necessarily the most motivating. She didn't have all of her confidence back yet and was not ready to sacrifice the high scores (although she kept saying she would). Her coaches decided to keep her in 6 because of maturity. Not maturity in the typical sense (she is very mature otherwise and a super hard worker), but in a gymnastics mentality sense. Although she said all along she was ready to move out of her comfort zone, when given the choice she wasn't. This could be the "maturity" your dd's coaches are talking about.

Good luck in whatever happens and keep us posted!
 
She is young, no reason to push to optionals so quickly, the skills are tougher as you move up. Cast requirements, split requirements etc. I would let her repeat 4 and be really ready for the next year.
 
Quick update: I emailed the coach and she is still 50/50 on whether dd should move up or stay at 4. She says some days she thinks she'll do great at 6 and some days she doesn't have the skills or the maturity (I question this, she is only 8 but she is definitely mature, so not sure what she means by this). Meanwhile, dd wants to stay at 4 because she wants to get higher scores. But it seems like she has most, if not all, of her skills (at least according to her). And if it was up to her, she would have stayed at 3 last year - she doesn't love change. Should I push to have her train 6 for the summer and then make the final decision, tell them she wants to stay at 4, or just keep my mouth shut and accept whatever they decide? I'm guessing it's option 3, but it's so hard.

On the turbo front, I also got more information there. They have 9 criteria, and the selected girls need to meet all 9. Apparently they made this switch in the fall, but I'm not sure anyone on the compulsory team was invited at that time. During the school year, turbo starts at 1:30, so anyone participating needs to pull their kids from school. I'm not willing to do that, so it doesn't really matter if they invite her or not.
I'm glad you gained more of an understanding of the process. I would let the coaches work with her and decide the best path.
 
In case anyone is interested in the update - things took an unexpected turn last week. The anxiety returned and now DD is crying and not wanting to go to practice. She says she is scared of her RO/BHS/BT, her flyaway on bars and backwards vaulting, even though she's been doing those things for months. I talked to her coach yesterday and asked if we should move her back with the 3's (who will be 4's next month). She said she will talk to all the coaches and they will make accommodations to make her comfortable - more mats, more spotting, whatever she needs. She would like to try and get her to finish things out with her team and ideally to train 6 for the summer. She doesn't want her to lose all the skills she has gained (which has been my thought all along). So now I'm just worried about keeping her in gymnastics, regardless of what level she's at.

I thought we had gotten through all this in the fall. Do kids who go through things like this ever get over it completely? Or will we just have to deal with it as it occurs? It's so difficult when she's crying and I just want to make her feel better. The easy thing to do would be to quit, but once she's in the gym she's laughing, running all around and having a great time. After her difficulty in the fall she reached a point where she was happy to go to practice again, always wanting to get there early, loving learning new skills, and told me she was really glad she didn't quit. So this has all come as a bit of a surprise.
 
In case anyone is interested in the update - things took an unexpected turn last week. The anxiety returned and now DD is crying and not wanting to go to practice. She says she is scared of her RO/BHS/BT, her flyaway on bars and backwards vaulting, even though she's been doing those things for months. I talked to her coach yesterday and asked if we should move her back with the 3's (who will be 4's next month). She said she will talk to all the coaches and they will make accommodations to make her comfortable - more mats, more spotting, whatever she needs. She would like to try and get her to finish things out with her team and ideally to train 6 for the summer. She doesn't want her to lose all the skills she has gained (which has been my thought all along). So now I'm just worried about keeping her in gymnastics, regardless of what level she's at.

I thought we had gotten through all this in the fall. Do kids who go through things like this ever get over it completely? Or will we just have to deal with it as it occurs? It's so difficult when she's crying and I just want to make her feel better. The easy thing to do would be to quit, but once she's in the gym she's laughing, running all around and having a great time. After her difficulty in the fall she reached a point where she was happy to go to practice again, always wanting to get there early, loving learning new skills, and told me she was really glad she didn't quit. So this has all come as a bit of a surprise.

Is this your younger daughter having these fears or your older one? When my DD turned 11, she developed all sorts of gymnastics fears. Because of this board, I realized it is actually pretty common, particularly at the 11-12 age range, regardless of level. Do a few searches on fears and blocks -- lots of great advice on here. if coaches are making accommodations like you mentioned, that is awesome. My DD's coaches resorted to screaming and belittling her, which absolutely does not make fears any better. To answer your question, yes, kids can absolutely get over it with time and patience. Try not to make a big deal of it, and it can work itself out -- coming from a mom who has been there!
 
Is this your younger daughter having these fears or your older one? When my DD turned 11, she developed all sorts of gymnastics fears. Because of this board, I realized it is actually pretty common, particularly at the 11-12 age range, regardless of level. Do a few searches on fears and blocks -- lots of great advice on here. if coaches are making accommodations like you mentioned, that is awesome. My DD's coaches resorted to screaming and belittling her, which absolutely does not make fears any better. To answer your question, yes, kids can absolutely get over it with time and patience. Try not to make a big deal of it, and it can work itself out -- coming from a mom who has been there!

It's my younger daughter actually. My older one has always been more cautious, the little one was always fearless until she broke her arm last summer. It seemed to totally rock her world, I guess because it's the first time she's ever had any kind of injury. I am really happy with how the coaches are handling it and makes me feel bad for even considering leaving. She is super sensitive so yelling at her or being mean would completely turn her off and she would never go back. I will definitely do a search! Thanks!
 

New Posts

DON'T LURK... Join The Discussion!

Members see FEWER ads

Gymnaverse :: Recent Activity

College Gym News

New Posts

Back