Parents Training alone

[nycgymmom]

So like many of our DDs mine has big dreams...that being said mines hates to train "alone". How do you explain to that her big dreams aren't shared by all and she has to get accustomed to traiming with different group or by herself.

 

[HoldThePhone]

We've been through this...are still and I have no good answer. When it first happened she was a little apprehensive but overcame all that and has done really well. Until the last few months. She's a couple years older than we she started it and being in a gym full of girls and feeling alone has been very hard recently. It sucks, quite frankly. Now that school is back in its a little better, but Summer brought up a lot of feelings she didn't even realize she had.

 

[John]

I can see how this feeling of being alone could cause a problem. We are lucky enough to attend a gym with girls close in age and desire. DD has always been the youngest and still is. I would think being the youngest or oldest could cause a problem. The old gym girls treated her well, like a mature little sister.

Does your DD feel alone because of age or other reasons?

 

[HoldThePhone]

I'm not sure if you were asking me or not but I'll answer.

DD has always been the youngest in her group, that's not the problem. It's more that there is no one she trains directly with. She "trains" with a small group, but is often not actually with the group at all, or there at some different times. It makes it hard.

 

[John]

I was asking the thread yes. I think this youngest girl thing is an issue many girls must face. It is a hard thing to face being youngest and feeling left out.

I took this into consideration when looking for a new gym. This sport is hard enough with team and friends supporting you. I can't think about DD doing it alone.

 

[dancingimmie]

We are dealing with this right now too. It can be difficult but her main coach is very good at keeping it as fun as possible. When she's with the group sometimes she's with girls her age but are 3 or more levels lower or sometimes she's with the big girls that are 5+ years older. She doesn't fit in anywhere. At first it was more difficult for me then for her. But she has grown to really enjoy her time with her coach, with her friends and with her big sisters. It's not ideal but she is making amazing progress so I can't complain, although I really wanted to in the beginning of summer.

 

[HoldThePhone]

I was asking the thread yes. I think this youngest girl thing is an issue many girls must face. It is a hard thing to face being youngest and feeling left out.

I took this into consideration when looking for a new gym. This sport is hard enough with team and friends supporting you. I can't think about DD doing it alone.

To be clear, DD loves the girls in her training group, they all get along great and support each other...but, the rest of them are basically in one group, and she is in another, with no one else. Most of the time, they have different coaches. It's a different situation, and often times we are very grateful for our coaches dedication, but it definitely comes at a price.

 

[mom2557]

It's like she is getting a private at every practice. Take it while you can get it

 

[HoldThePhone]

It's like she is getting a private at every practice. Take it while you can get it

Again...everything comes at a price. I'm sure as an outsider it's easy for you to make that statement...having a practice where you have a training plan, etc is not nearly the same as a private. Even if there is just one kid, trust me it's very different.

 

[mom2557]

Again...everything comes at a price. I'm sure as an outsider it's easy for you to make that statement...having a practice where you have a training plan, etc is not nearly the same as a private. Even if there is just one kid, trust me it's very different.

I didn't mean to offend you. It was my impression the OP DD was happy with her group and the gym but wasn't always with them to, I assume, uptrain? Anyway, when you are 1 of 20 some individual attention sounds like heaven!

 

[HoldThePhone]

Not offended, just clarifying. And like I said before, we are very grateful, she and her coach have goals and he's doing what he feels is in her best interest to help her accomplish them. That said, bad days happen, aND she doesn't have other kids to sort of help her shake that off. All eyes are on her mistakes amd that can be a very situation for a young girl.

 

[nycgymmom]

I can see how this feeling of being alone could cause a problem. We are lucky enough to attend a gym with girls close in age and desire. DD has always been the youngest and still is. I would think being the youngest or oldest could cause a problem. The old gym girls treated her well, like a mature little sister.

Does your DD feel alone because of age or other reasons?

I think her team have become like her sisters and training by herself or even in smaller group that isn't her team makes her sad

 

[txgymfan]

[QUOTE="EmilyisOk, post: 523542, member: 12022 All eyes are on her mistakes amd that can be a very situation for a young girl.[/QUOTE]

In elite gymnastics, athletes have said nothing is ever good enough ever. We've had members whose DD's have quit elite, while scoring well becaus of the constant corrections. Many elites train alone, it's hard, it stinks. I don't have answers. I do know she is not alone in being alone.

 

[HoldThePhone]

So long as she chooses this, we will choose to support her, doesn't mean it's not hard sometimes as her parent! I believe elite is a lonely path, amd we didn't go into all of this blind (and she's not elite, just hopes to be one day), we knew it would be hard, but there is good along with it too. Right nown I'm thankful that we have a coach we can communicate with, and that DD still is at an age where she wants to talk to me about everything!

 

[nycgymmom]

. Many elites train alone, it's hard, it stinks. I don't have answers. I do know she is not alone in being alone.[/QUOTE]
That is what I tell her hope she finds comfort in training alone.

 

[wgagym]

Mine is starting the same thing. Training with others around but not a part of a group. Right now she is loving it but we shall see how it progresses.

 

[GYM0M]

It is a difficult thing to describe, lol. My DD has struggled with this along her journey. Coming from a small, virtually unknown gym, with very few optional gymnasts, she can definitely attest to the loneliness, & I can attest to the passive aggressive parents that have to 'pay' for all the attention. It sucks........The hardest year for her was when she surpassed the highest level gymnast we had in our gym. Taking a long held position from someone much older than you can create some tension, & when there's a schedule conflict, my DD's event usually prevails, more passive aggressive comments and what-not. I mean, what do they want me to do? Go to the coaches and tell them, "Hey, um, you're paying too much attention to my child and you're neglecting your other gymnasts..." I absolutely adore DD coaches, but my stomach is still always in knots when I go to them with a coaching/gym concern. They don't take too well to coaching suggestions, & I can only imagine how they would react to someone telling them how to run their business......BUT things have gotten better, continue to get better. DD is still 'alone' but others are starting to catch up.....

 

[dancingimmie]

This. This is what we are dealing with. My dd is surpassing the highest level and oldest girls in the gym with less hours. Right now she's number two but it's only a matter of time. It's throwing everyone for a loop. How did you and your dd navigate the teen drama? Some days they cheer for her and some days they talk behind her back.

 

[gymbeam]

U

This. This is what we are dealing with. My dd is surpassing the highest level and oldest girls in the gym with less hours. Right now she's number two but it's only a matter of time. It's throwing everyone for a loop. How did you and your dd navigate the teen drama? Some days they cheer for her and some days they talk behind her back.

Unfortunately, that aspect of it exists for all of them. Regardless of the training group, age or their trajectory, they are all going to experience the internal competition and drama. From the bottom to the top, each girl has strengths and weaknesses and those are always going to be noticed and discussed.

My DD is not at the top or the bottom but she gets her feelings hurt sometimes too. She also tells me how she overhears the "older" girls talking about each other behind their backs, yet they all turn around and act like best friends when together. She's also noticed when they are talking about her.

If we're honest with ourselves, it still happens among adults as well. It's life. Granted, it's amplified when you have these young kids spending so much time together in a highly competitive sport, but it's not escapable in any setting really.

I just constantly remind my daughter to maintain her integrity and in the end, she will be who people trust and want to be friends with- not because of her gym "ranking" but because they will notice who does the backstabbing and who doesn't. I help her understand it reflects badly on the "mean" kids and just as she has been able to recognize who they are, others do too.

 

[dancingimmie]

Gymbeam, you are completely correct. It happens in school, at the work place, etc... I was just hoping we had more time before having to deal with it and I think it's hard when they are so young for them to understand, maybe I'm not giving her enough credit. My dd has always been kind of oblivious to any drama until this summer. But unfortunately there was no avoiding it.