Parents Update on big DD and gymnastics

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Gymmonkeymomma

Proud Parent
Well it's been a few weeks since big DD's announcement about "hating" gymnastics and wanting to quit. Since then 2 of her Level 8 teammates have left, as well as 1 level 7 who was her age and a good friend. The 2 8's left the sport, the 7 is doing Joga at a gym 10 mins from her house, and she is very happy.

I've tried to be supportive and not push DD but I do bring up little bits every once in a while to try to get into her head. I just cannot accept that she "hates" it and is so quick to give up something she has enjoyed for 9 years.

Cheering is definitely an issue...I did not allow her to try out for competition this year because I told her I was not going to go nuts running from one practice to the other several times a week, with neither one getting her full dedication. She wants to do comp next year, it will be her last year eligible (on the Rec squad).

The biggest pull is the pressure she is feeling about the skills and the coach. It is not even head coach, whom she has butt heads with since she was little. She wants to do Open Tumbling which is offered 3 times/wk for an hour, with HC. The person she is resistant to is Coach S (ironically, the one that Little Monkey loves). He is very strict and no-nonsense, which big DD is so not used to. He rides her, hard, because he sees her potential but this does not sit well at all with her. She keeps saying he is mean to me, he hates me, blah, blah, blah. She takes everything very personally even though I've tried to explain every which way that he is not being mean that is just his way and he is trying to teach her things she should have already learned, and could be improving on... That is a no-win there, she is stubborn and not going to change her mind.

The Program Director thinks it will be a good idea to give her a month off after the Jan 30th meet. During this time, DD says she wants to do tumbling and she also wants to go to IGC this summer, but knows she has to keep up her skills. Ditto for wanting to do HS gymnastics (starting Summer 2011). She won't consider Joga even though it's fewer nights and different coaches. She doesn't want to compete right now....

If you're still with me, thanks for reading.
 
GMM,

You poor thing! She sounds very confused, I guess like a teenager... ;)

I think if you were to check in with her on a weekly basis that you would get a different answer from her everytime! I guess you just have to ride the roller coaster for as long as it lasts.
 
Hugs to you and her, too. I am sure it is hard for her to have all this confusion and probably uncertainty of what to do as well since gymnastics has been part of her life for so long. I think a break might do her some good and give her some clarity. She will either really miss it or she won't. I hope that she can make her decision then and that you can come to peace with whatever that decision is. Sending you both lots of hugs and clarity!
 
I have been waiting and waiting for an update on your DD. This is so hard on US, isn't it?!?! Hopefully some time off will clarify things for her. I just have to add that my own DD is EXTREMELY happy where she is now. I still have my own regrets, but I have to just keep those to myself, right?!?!?
 
That month off may be just what she needs. The end result may go either way, she may decide it's definitely not for her any more, or that she misses it and she'll go back better than ever. I think that whatever she decides you will have to stick by her and support her decision. She may come to realize that she was taking HC's comments too personally and want to stick with it. Whatever happens, I hope the decision is one you can all agree on. Good luck! :)
 
Give her a break and maybe she'll figure out what she really wants to do. I'm sure having her friends leaving the gym doesn't help either. Glad you posted---I wondered how it was going.
 
Hopefully the time will give her a chance to work out what she wants. I know us moms of teen girls totally undestand, this seems to come along with the hormones.

Thanks for letting us know, I had been wondering.
 
I too think that maybe that break will make her realize how much she still loves the sport. Either way.... just know that we moms of teens are with you! Tough road and I currently have 2 in the house and a 12 year old who might as well be a teen. Emma is still sane thank goodness! Hugs! You'll make it!
 
Oh....poor thing and poor mom who just wants her to be happy.......it's hard to grow up isn't it?

Karen
 
I think there is a lot of mixed messages here. The bit about wanting to do IGC and not do gymnastics is so off-the-wall. Yeah, she is just a "complicated" teenage. Offering additional options probably isn't going to make things better.
 
Very confused indeed, and not even going to be a teen officially till Jan 30th!

They had a mock meet last night with a "real" judge, and oh, it was UGLY. Not only for my DD but her teammates as well. Her FX actually was not bad, and got an 8.6 with some very obvious deductions (legs apart, extra steps, etc). I thought for sure she was going to come out bawling about wanting to quit NOW but she didn't, she just was unhappy that she was "the worse one" out of all the girls. That, I firmly believe has more to do with attitude than skills. Today, they are baking a cake after school for HC's birthday..... I'm just going to keep coasting along until she figures it out.....
 
Ahhh, the teen years, I can't wait. It might not apply here, but the thing I hear often with teenagers when they quit is that one day they look around the gym and realize that they are spending most nights of the week with a bunch of little kids while all their friends have a life. Glad she wants to stay connected with the sport. Good luck
 
Ha! These crazy teens! When you get her all figured out, will you fill me in on how to deal with mine! My oldest is now 17 and starting to become human again! Although no break for mom and dad because we have a hormone raging 14 year old DD that we can barely talk to without her screaching about something! Gotta love them, and I do. Hang in there!
 

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