Parents Update on my extra passenger

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Feb 4, 2008
Region IV
Went with everyone's advice and let dh decide. It's pretty common for dd2 to squeeze in an activity between 2:45 when school gets out and 4:00 when gym starts. Dh just didn't feel like juggling in another kid when it's unlikely we'll be leaving for the gym from our house. It's more likely we'll be going from school to piano lessons to gym or some such other arrangement. Our new coach is also way more laid back and doesn't care if dd2 is late because of another activity. She knows dd2's days in the gym are numbered and would rather make some accommodations and keep her in for another year.

So, today I told the other parent that while I would happily bring her dd home after every practice, dh could not pick her up and take her.

The other gym mom is not very happy with me at all. She just kept saying that she couldn't get her dd to practice and then asking again if I would take her. It was a really awkward conversation.
That would make me very uncomfortable too. Especially since I am plagued with a serious case of Catholic Guilt :D and have trouble with the word No :D

Sorry she was not more accepting of your decision. while I understand her dilema of getting her dd to class, appreciating the offer to bring her home would have been nice
Good for you for letting hubby decide, men often don't enjoy carpool time as much as we Moms do.

The other mother's reaction speaks volumes, would n't a very nice thank you sound much better than her continuing to ask? I think that this was a wise choice for all concerned, but I can only imagine how hard it was to do the right thing for your family with that kind of guilt being poured on.
You tried to meet her halfway and were honest with yourselves and this other mom about what you could and could not do. Better to not be in a bad situation and then have to back out. Personally I would be thrilled if someone could bring my gymmie home, but know it won't happen.
That is not fair for her to try to guilt you into it. You offered to take her home, which is very nice of you. I would just let it go and try not to worry about it.
I just feel that you have to define the boundaries in your life yourself and not let anybody else set them for you.

Congratulations on defining a boundary that is right for you and your whole family. You have no need to feel any guilt.

Go well!!
"The other gym mom is not very happy with me at all. She just kept saying that she couldn't get her dd to practice and then asking again if I would take her. It was a really awkward conversation"

I'm sorry but people like this are REAL trouble. Stay away from her!

We can 'serve' others in many ways. I DO believe in being self-less and giving to others. BUT, it does not always HELP a person like this to help them. She needs to take responsibility for her life and that of her daughter.

Sorry to sound harsh, but this woman just gives me that yucky 'co-dependent/ problem' feeling!

Glad you let the dh decide. Sometimes we need our hubbies to help us say 'no', we ladies are are sometimes just too nice (not me, I'm famous for saying 'no'-ha-ha)!

I'm so thankful for my dh in these situations (and others of course-like his doing the taxes, getting the cars fixed, handling plumbing problems) he is more than happy to 'take the heat' or be the 'bad guy' when necessary! (OK he is great in so many ways- I was just being facetious!) :p
Way to go! saying no is tough and you aren't really saying no since you are doing the drive home. Stick to your decision. No need for guilt.
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