For Parents Vacation over training?

Parents... Coaches... Gymnasts...
Gymnastics Questions?
Don't Lurk... We've Got Answers!

New For 2022
MEMBERS ONLY Parent Group!
Join for FREE!

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
Hi, everyone! This is my first post. I have an 11 year old daughter who is training level 5/6. We just made a gym change at the end of May because her former gym shifted to an all-Xcel model for the compulsory levels. The new gym has set practice days for each training group and her group trains for 12 hours per week over three days. We had some gymnastics camps that were already scheduled before the gym change so she has missed two weeks of practice this summer thus far. The gym is closed the week of August 22nd and then the fall training schedule starts the week of August 29th. My daughter has been invited to go on a beach vacation with one of her best friends for next week. Originally when the parents discussed it with me, she was invited for a few days. Now it is for the entire week. Of course they mentioned it to my daughter without asking me first (love that) so she is excited and wants to go for the whole week. I am annoyed because she would miss another week of practice--the last week of practice for summer training. If it was the week that the gym is closed, I would have no problem with her going. But the timing is really bad given some short term goals she has (she is trying to have the chance to test out of level 5 and move up to 6--we aren't sure how the training groups factor in and the coaches are still getting to know her, plus in the handbook they mention that advancement is dependent on attending practices). Beyond that, she (like most gymnasts) has big dreams for college and all the rest but is on the older side--started rec at age 5, competed (starting at age 7) one year each of levels 2 and 3, and just finished her second year of level 4. I told her that this is her sport and these are her dreams/goals but that I thought it was a mistake to miss the week of practice given these goals and the timing. She still wants to go so I am struggling with how to proceed. I appreciate any thoughts/perspectives.
 

BusyMomof2

Member
Feb 2, 2022
57
44
It sounds like the practice she's missed this summer was gymnastics related, correct? If so, I wouldn't worry about this one week. If it derails her ability to move up, she perhaps wasn't getting moved anyway. Talk to the coaches, explain it just how you've explained it here and see how they react. I would let her go on vacation. They get one chance at being a kid.
 

Aussie_coach

Staff member
Gold Membership
Coach
Proud Parent
Gymnast
Club Owner / Manager
Jan 4, 2008
3,891
Of course it’s important to live life outside the gym. But, your situation is unique.

You have gone to a new gym, they don’t know her and are deciding what her potential is and where to place her. Where they place her can have a massive effect on her future development and she seems to want to do a lot with the sport.

One hard truth is that the gym will look at her commitment over the Summer and make judgements about her commitment as an athlete in general as a result. It seems unfair but it is part of the human psyche to use what little information we have on someone when we meet then to make judgments.

You have options of course. You can just not worry about it, take the week off and if it affects her, so be it. In life we make choices, we don’t always know the consequences but we must deal with it.

You can chat to your daily and let her know just that. She can go if she wants, but the new gym doesn’t know her and may decide she is less committed. Her choice is important because it will depend which means more to her.

You could chat to the gym and explain the situation and see what they say. If I had a new gymnast come to my gym, who missed a lot of training initially I would probably feel they were uncommitted. But if the parent explained it the way you did, I would reconsider that. Some gym owners will some won’t.

Alternatively could she just go to the beach fir a few days and you could pick her up early, or bring her down late and then have the best of both worlds.
 

JPC13

Proud Parent
Mar 25, 2022
185
Of course it’s important to live life outside the gym. But, your situation is unique.

You have gone to a new gym, they don’t know her and are deciding what her potential is and where to place her. Where they place her can have a massive effect on her future development and she seems to want to do a lot with the sport.

One hard truth is that the gym will look at her commitment over the Summer and make judgements about her commitment as an athlete in general as a result. It seems unfair but it is part of the human psyche to use what little information we have on someone when we meet then to make judgments.

You have options of course. You can just not worry about it, take the week off and if it affects her, so be it. In life we make choices, we don’t always know the consequences but we must deal with it.

You can chat to your daily and let her know just that. She can go if she wants, but the new gym doesn’t know her and may decide she is less committed. Her choice is important because it will depend which means more to her.

You could chat to the gym and explain the situation and see what they say. If I had a new gymnast come to my gym, who missed a lot of training initially I would probably feel they were uncommitted. But if the parent explained it the way you did, I would reconsider that. Some gym owners will some won’t.

Alternatively could she just go to the beach fir a few days and you could pick her up early, or bring her down late and then have the best of both worlds.
Not only that, recency bias is strong. If her blowing off gym is the last thing they remember while making the decision of where to place her… that’s not a great impression.

My family? We wouldn’t go and it wouldn’t be a hard choice. Your daughter needs to decide.
 

Gymx2

Proud Parent
Oct 9, 2015
835
How is she doing with her skills? That would have a big impact in my opinion. Some kids can miss a bit and still get all of their skills in plenty of time, while others really need to be in the gym. If she's solid on her 5 skills and close on her 6 skills I wouldn't worry too much. If she's still struggling with a lot of them that would be a good reason not to miss another week.
 

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
Let her go on vacation with her friend. She will always remember the trip and may always resent you if that is the reason you say no.The odds of anyone doing college sports is extremely small and this one week won’t make a bit of difference in the long run.
I was more concerned about her short-term goals but of course want to support/encourage her to take steps that would make sense for her future goals (no matter how lofty) if possible. Thanks for your comment!
 

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
It sounds like the practice she's missed this summer was gymnastics related, correct? If so, I wouldn't worry about this one week. If it derails her ability to move up, she perhaps wasn't getting moved anyway. Talk to the coaches, explain it just how you've explained it here and see how they react. I would let her go on vacation. They get one chance at being a kid.
Yes, the previously missed practices were gymnastics related. Thanks for your thoughts!
 

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
Of course it’s important to live life outside the gym. But, your situation is unique.

You have gone to a new gym, they don’t know her and are deciding what her potential is and where to place her. Where they place her can have a massive effect on her future development and she seems to want to do a lot with the sport.

One hard truth is that the gym will look at her commitment over the Summer and make judgements about her commitment as an athlete in general as a result. It seems unfair but it is part of the human psyche to use what little information we have on someone when we meet then to make judgments.

You have options of course. You can just not worry about it, take the week off and if it affects her, so be it. In life we make choices, we don’t always know the consequences but we must deal with it.

You can chat to your daily and let her know just that. She can go if she wants, but the new gym doesn’t know her and may decide she is less committed. Her choice is important because it will depend which means more to her.

You could chat to the gym and explain the situation and see what they say. If I had a new gymnast come to my gym, who missed a lot of training initially I would probably feel they were uncommitted. But if the parent explained it the way you did, I would reconsider that. Some gym owners will some won’t.

Alternatively could she just go to the beach fir a few days and you could pick her up early, or bring her down late and then have the best of both worlds.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. I appreciate hearing from a coach perspective.
 

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
Not only that, recency bias is strong. If her blowing off gym is the last thing they remember while making the decision of where to place her… that’s not a great impression.

My family? We wouldn’t go and it wouldn’t be a hard choice. Your daughter needs to decide.
Right. That is what I was thinking too. Thanks for your reply!
 

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
How is she doing with her skills? That would have a big impact in my opinion. Some kids can miss a bit and still get all of their skills in plenty of time, while others really need to be in the gym. If she's solid on her 5 skills and close on her 6 skills I wouldn't worry too much. If she's still struggling with a lot of them that would be a good reason not to miss another week.
She is solid on her 5 skills and has most of the 6 skills (I think). Thanks so much for your reply!
 

JPC13

Proud Parent
Mar 25, 2022
185
She is solid on her 5 skills and has most of the 6 skills (I think). Thanks so much for your reply!
If she's hoping to compete 6, at my daughter's gym being at that point right now would put her clearly in the "coach's discretion of where to place" and missing time might be enough to keep her in 5 -- depending on how well the coach thinks of her.

You should share this feedback with your daughter before she makes a choice, and if she decides to go for a week you should talk to her coach about it first. At least give them the impression of signing off on it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: GymAir and txgymfan

flippiestwists

New Member
Jun 24, 2022
8
11 year old is old enough to understand and accept consequences of their actions but with some parental guidance. Sometimes it may seem like they understand the ramifications but they really don't until you spell out every single possible scenario and how it may affect her short-term goals. In the end, she needs to make the decision of whether going on vacation outweighs possibly moving to level 6.

I suggest talking it over with her coach. She is new to the gym and the coach may have certain expectations or they may have already decided if she's moving up or not. Also, you may want to ask when testing is and what is the criteria for moving up. Some girls bounce back fast after a 2 week break. Some girls need more time to adjust after vacation.
 

skygirlpc

Proud Parent
Mar 3, 2016
140
I'm still fairly new but I think I would see if the coach would talk it through with you and your daughter present so you could all discuss goals and how this would affect them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Tammie

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
Thank you all for taking the time to comment and give suggestions. We are going to talk it over with the coach and then make the final decision.
 

gymgal

Gold Membership
Proud Parent
Aug 22, 2008
4,608
late to the conversation - coming from a mom whose dd competed for 10+ years, I would let her go to the beach. And I wouldn't ask the coaches - I would Just inform them that it was a preplanned vacation that you are unwilling to switch it. Gymnastics is a long haul sport and kids need to know they are more than just a gymnast. They also need to know that they can step away from the gym for a week or two and it wont hurt them. Is it possible that she doesn't make the cut for L6? yes. and as long as she is fully aware of that, and still wants to go, let her. She is old enough to make those decisions. Don't try to use L6 as a guilt measure for her not going, just make her aware as at that age, they need help seeing the consequences.
 

Lovegymmom

New Member
Jun 20, 2022
9
45
Thanks again, everyone, for the thoughts and advice. I wanted to share that my daughter did end up making the trip and she is having a great time. To make a long story short, I was having anxiety about her missing practice and stress about what if she doesn't move up, will she be able to compete in college, etc., etc. [Side note: it is crazy to me that on the one hand we have to say this is their journey, we can't rush the process, etc. but on the other hand they have to make it to level 10 by a certain age to have a chance at college scholarships, etc.]
I then started acting like a crazy gym mom and putting pressure on her (her words). I was devastated that I was not handling my anxiety well and was causing her pain--though I am trying to help her achieve her goals and I mean well, it was not the right way to handle things. So I told her we will not discuss levels, move up, etc. again unless she wants to or has a question or needs help with something. I also gave my blessing for her to go to the beach with her friend and be a kid for a week without worrying about gymnastics.
 

WV Gym Mom

New Member
Mar 7, 2022
42
48
Came back here for the update...so glad she got to go to the beach. You are only young once. My Level 4/Gold (my gym does both) daughter just took two weeks off to travel and go on a family cruise...then dealt with Covid so was out of the gym for close to a month. I did get her a private before her first team practice to 'ease' back into it, but she took off like she never left and honestly looked better than she had before her break.