Very upset and do no know what to do.

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I came home yesterday from a very hard training sesion, to descover that 2 of the girls out of my team of 7 have been saying verry horrible things about me on facebook to the extent that they said they wanted me to die. My mom went to they gym today to talk to the head coach about it , but now i dont feel comforable going back to the class with them in, but i need gymnastics for my GCSE(its the exams we do when we are 16 in the UK) now i dont know wat to do, my options are:
1- meet with the 2 girls and their parents w/ my parents
2- stop training on monday and friday and loose my place on team and only train on mondays in the rec
3-join another gym, i have emailed the other "local" gym, thats 30-40 mins away about what class i would be in, and one of my freinds from school who is at the same level as me goes there.
4- quit altogether train trampolining 4 days a week and do 1 day of tumbling.
thanks for reading/replying
 
I'm so sorry to hear this. Sometimes girls can be mean. I think it's a lack of maturity. Do you actually feel physically threatened by them, or is it more about hurt feelings? I wouldn't let them make you stop gymnastics. That would be like punishing the victim. What did the coach tell your mother? It seems to me, if this is an issue of physical safety, the gym has an obligation to do everything it can. Even if it's just mean words, that shouldn't be tolerated either, but may be a little more difficult for the gym to justify taking severe action against them.
 
The gym told my mom that the dont want them to move groups, and seens as one of them is our groups coaches favourites.I do agree it is a lack of maturity( evan though they are14-15). It is deffiantly hurt feelings but now if we were to be helping each other out i woulnt feel same as i would be worried they would purpopsly let me get hurt.
 
Maybe you could talk to your group's coach about it. Tell him/her in a way that makes him/her realize that you are worried of getting hurt if you're working together with those girls. Maybe even print the page to show him the proof if he doesn't believe you. If you're good friends with the other team members maybe you could ask them what to do.
 
You do not deserve that and should not be expected to put up with such behavior in any aspect of your life. You also don't deserve to have to leave something that you love as a result of these girls. Your mom did the right thing by alerting the coach, I would also suggest talking with the gym owner and any other authority figure who could help sort the situation out. Talking with their parents could be a solution, but sometimes it is not. The girls could become angry and act even more cruelly towards you, or their parents could possibly just excuse their behavior as that as teenage girls. If you/your family are familiar with their parents and comfortable with them, it could be a potential solution though.
Like ek2 said, if the gym does not take these concerns seriously, you should think about looking into the other gym. As a 9-11 year old I trained at a gym where one of the coaches actually encouraged tension and mean behavior between teammates, it was a toxic situation and my parents got me out of there.
I am so sorry you are going through this, it is a rotten situation and not fair at all. I hope things work out for the best for you, but certainly do what you can to make sure this behavior is brought to the attention of authority figures. If there is no punishment for what they are doing, they will have no reason to stop.
 
Well my mom did show the page to the head coach today.And one of the girls has sent me an email saying that she apolgies( although if feel it is a falso apology) and it was the other girl who first said lets kill her the girl who has apologise just went along.
 
I have decided on saturday to talk to my trampolining coach about what class i would be put in if i moved gym. We had few kids at trampolining picking on a kid and they got told if they did it again they would get kicked out of the club and i feel this polocy should be in place in the gym as when i joined i had to sign a form saying that i could respect my team mates and not bully we arnt evan alloud to laugh when someone falls. I want to go to the club where my trampolining coach teached gymnastics as I am very close to her( shes like a mom to me and her daughters are like my sisters) but that gym is 45 mins away.
 
The real issue here is the sign of the time/age. Girls nowadays are found very out-spoken on public sites such as FB and other un-moderated social sites. They tend to use it for private conversations (like supposedly stuff found in IM) where everyone can see what they write (amongst other things). I couldn't believe the language they use. I think all that it's intentional. It's almost like saying here is a private conversation but feel free to eavedrop. And, yes, many of these conversations are meant to be seen by others and at times are meant to be hurtful. I, for one, as a parent am quite bothered by this trend/movement.

OTOH, boys, who are traditionally known to be show-offs and all talks (especially in public) tend to be much more reserved in these days.
 
my personal opinon of people who cyberbully is that they are more pathetic than noraml bullies as they dont have the guts to say it to your face.
 
aww..i'm sorry they said that.. when some people talk about me i use it as a motivator and try my hardest to kick their butts :) i wouldn't stop gymnastics just because of them..and that's only 2 people..if they are that mean you don't need them to be your friend..
 
aww..i'm sorry they said that.. when some people talk about me i use it as a motivator and try my hardest to kick their butts :) i wouldn't stop gymnastics just because of them..and that's only 2 people..if they are that mean you don't need them to be your friend..
Yes i agree that i shouldnt give up but when there is 7 in the squad including me and these two girls influence the other girls it makes it very hard.
They are also very sneak so that the coach or any one else wont notice and when the talk about me they alsways call me B.B.B which stands for big but beckie( which compared to them i have but they are both underwight and very weak physicalls so really strugle on bars(i find it funny as my best event are bars and vault that require alot of strength))
 
I would try to stick it out a little longer. The girls have been talked to so hopefully it won't happen again. I would stick it out and show the girls that what they are doing is not affecting you like they are probably wanting it to. With them saying the means things they are probably hoping that you will get so mad and quit the team. Don't give them that satisfaction. Just go into class and work your hardest and do what you are there for.

P.S. I hope the gym had a very good conversation with these girl and also their parents. That is unexceptable what they did.
 
my personal opinon of people who cyberbully is that they are more pathetic than noraml bullies as they dont have the guts to say it to your face.
You said it. But, that is how it is until someone does something about it or the trend fakes away.
 
Blazing15 said it right. THey could be very jealous of you to the extent that they would do such things for you to leave. They also could feel threatened by you as you are maybe progressing faster then them, getting better scores than them, or something along those lines.Do not give them the satisfaction of you leaving what you love, this is your sport just as it is much theirs.
 
I doubt they feel threatened by them as in competition terms they always beat me but they have been doing gym for 5 years and i have only been there for 2 and a bit.
 
as a mom I would want to talk to the parents of these girls and show them what their darling daughters are doing online then I would bring it to the attention of the gym. To move or not to move I would leave that decision up to you. At your age I think you can make that choice and I as a mom would support that choice. So if you wanted to change gyms I wouldn't have any issues with that.

Good luck and let us know how things turn out.
 
My heart goes out to you. Nasty unacceptable behaviour both in training and on facebook. As a parent I would call for a meeting with the headcoach/ owner, the girls parents and your parents. I would write down all the things they say to you at training and a print of the online page. I would put these on the table and ask for the behaviour to stop. No whispering, names, comments, looks etc. I would want the coaches and their parents to agree to enforce that. I don't know what your legal system is in USA but I know in the UK I would threaten to report any further bullying to the police and to the head teachers at their schools. At 14 and 15 they need to grow up and face the music. I would also tell the gym if they do not deal with it you will be reporting them to USAG.

Your mum has done very well to go in and talk to the coach. Encourage her to go back. If you don't get this sorted out and feel comfortable again walk away and go elsewhere. Being happy and confident is your priority not standing up to bullies. That isn't giving in it is moving on and putting your emotional wellbeing first. Believe in yourself and big hugs.
 
I'm not sure what advice I can offer, but I did want to let you know that I think it is terrible what these girls did to you, and hope that they stop. I also agree that they need some form of discipline to discourage their behavior. If you do not feel supported at this gym, and have friends at another gym, I would at least try-out the other gym. However, do not let these girls make you quit, or do less hours. You deserve better.

MamaofEnS
 
I am not sure what advice to give but big hugs to you!! It is horrible what they did and don't let them knock you down nothing can do that! you're a gymnast you are meant to fly and not fall! flips and tricks can break your bones but words can never hurt you! Don't let these girls make you quit something you love! i promise you that if you quit you will regret it! keep holding on!

^^Dunno, i don't think you can say facebook is evil, it can be perfectly innocent and great way to keep in touch. It is only when someone abuses the website that it is criticised. The person can be evil but it is impossible for a website to be evil.
 
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