Parents Watching practice

[kellyb]

My daughter is a young Level 3 (going into next season). She's only been practicing about 4-5 hours /week so far at Level 2. My husband and I split the time at practice so that one of us is always there. She likes that we watch; and I have to say-- I really enjoy it too! I have other children though who join me. They have fun with other siblings, etc...but do reach their limit. As practice time increases to 8-9 hours this next year--I know I'm going to have to start dropping her off some-- for the sake of my other kiddos. It's not fair to them--as they haven't chosen the sport. But I'm nervous. She doesn't really need me there the whole time--I'm sure coaches would call me if there was an emergency-- it's mostly just me being anxious. I drop her off at school--but that feels different--they don't fly off of high equipment there. How do you all balance watching practice with other family demands etc. What age/other factors helped you feel better about leaving them at the gym?

 

[gymhorsemom]

How old is she? I can understand not wanting to leave at a certain age. But as you say it's a lot of hours to expect your other kids to stay in the gym waiting. I only wait in the gym on one (out of 3) of DD's (she's 7.5) practice days b/c I don't want my other kids to have to spend too much time waiting in the gym. On the other days I might arrive 15 mins or so before the end of practice to watch. I think it is good for them to not have us there all of the time -though I can see if your daughter is less than 5 or 6 that this might be the case. I started dropping DD off at gym at age 6.5 when her practices got longer and she was a little unsure about it at first.

 

[Rockygym]

Well my DD was also very young when she started longer 4 hour practices and as you point out you just CAN'T be there all the time. It's hard on you and on siblings. You do have to trust the coaches would call you with any issues and in the past year I have only been called once for a bloody nose! She will do fine without you guys there and it can also help develop their independence.

 

[CameraShy]

That first time that you start just dropping her off will feel weird, but you and she will get used to it. I used to bring all of my kids with me to DD's practices when she was on pre team. Once she was doing Old L3, it became less and less only because it was too hard to stay with the little guys (3 year old & 2 year old as well as a 6 year old) for those longer stretches. She was 5 at the time. Now as a 7 (almost 8) year old, she's doing 20 hours a week and there is even two days a week with the carpool that she leaves home on the bus for school at 8:25am and I don't see her until she's dropped off at home from gym at 7pm that night. You figure it out and I know DD's independence has grown a lot.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

We have been at 2 gyms. Once my girl was on team (age 6), both gyms request you not stay for practice. They don't insist but discourage it.

We don't stay for practice. I get errands done, meet up with friends, have a date with my husband. Occasionally I stay but it's mostly to connect with other parents.

I stayed when she was little and practice was only an hour. It didn't make sense to leave. I was thrilled when it went to 2-3 hours so I could leave. I call gymnastics expensive babysitting.

 

[billise]

DD started level 3 (9 hours per week) not long after she turned 6. Up until then I still watched most of her practices. Once she moved up to 9 hours a week, watching got old really fast. It didn't take long for me to get used to the "drop and go"

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

I do like watching! I like watching BOTH of my kids (my other daughter is a dancer) and since they practice for long hours, at the same time, in different places I have to go back and forth. Add in that I also coach at the gym during practice hours (at which time I really can't pay attention to what MY kid is doing, lol) and it's just a fact that I no longer can watch any of them the whole time. I do cherish the parts I get to watch, because I love watching them do what they are passionate about, but I no longer feel the need to be there every moment of practice. In an ideal world I would love to have the time to share their moments as they happen, each and every time, but truthfully it's also really good for them to be able to tell me afterwards about what happened in gym/dance that day.

 

[z2akids]

I used to watch pretty often when DD was at the gym for 4 hours a week. At that point, she had only been at the gym for a couple of months and I wasn't ready to turn over control. However, I don't have enough time in my day to watch the 10+ hours a week that she is there now. I have 2 other children who deserve my attention. DD didn't even know or care if I am there. Gym is her thing and she is totally focused when she is at practice.

In addition, I see the crazy coming out in the moms who sit in the gym for all that time. They have become a clique that gossips and excludes other families. Too much time watching which girl got an extra turn on a station or who was allowed to work on higher level skills during a practice, etc. Their girls look to the viewing area for approval (and they often gesture to each other during practice rather than focusing on the coach). Don't fall into that trap.

I definitely see more confidence in the girls whose parents don't stick around. I think the girls pick up on the parents' confidence in the girls and the coaches and that in turn increases self confidence.

 

[wallinbl]

It's only hard the first few times. After that, it's pleasant and freeing. If you're worried about it, start running some short errands during practice, so you're gone for 30-45 minutes at a time. Expand that until you're gone except for drop off/pickup. At that point, you're done!

 

[TxGymMom1]

I know how you feel! It freaked me out about a year ago when my DD (7 y/o) was moved to the L4 group and her practices went from 12 hours per week to 16. The first time I dropped her off, I did NOT like it -- thank goodness for the moms who did stay to watch in giving me text updates. Trust me -- it DOES get easier. Because my DD asks for me to watch, I try and catch ONE practice per week and we are all happier with this situation. As someone else said ... start running errands during her practice times and stay gone progressively longer each time.
PS -- Staying away also helps me NOT to worry as much as she is learning the higher level skills. The last time I watched I thought -- GO SIT IN THE CAR and don't think about how close her head is to the beam!

 

[Mrs. Puma]

You are a good Mommy for asking! It is hard! But as you've seen from all the responses, it is VERY common in this world to drop and go. I LOVE watching practice but with my crazy life and my other daughter's schedule, I only occasionally get to watch for more than a few minutes. I have been leaving her there alone the majority of the time since the week she turned six. You could start "weaning" it? Every family and gymnast is different. Good luck!

 

[TTW3]

This is what I am experiencing now. I have a young one, but also have a need to detach to avoid the numerous pitfalls of me sitting in the viewing area. It's tough, because with so many other activities, you have an opportunity to view them at a game/show etc. and she is not competing yet so practices are it. I now arrive at the end and catch the last 10-15 minutes. Unfortunately, the first thing I saw at the last practice when I arrived at the end was my child releasing the bar in a "gasp" scary way on a super secure skill and it was due to her being silly and trying to go big. Once she saw me, she shifted to laser focus (made me wonder what I missed before then, lol)... So, that independence of knowing she has to be on-task, use proper technique and remain focused even when she doesn't feel that eyes are on her 100% of the time, is work in progress. She's not a big talker after practice and may embellish what happened, so I will rely on coaches feedback when received and need to know that's the right choice for all in our scenario.

 

[gwenmom]

The transition from watching to not watching is so hard. But I'll let you in on a little secret, once you stop watching and then have to for one practice, you'll be thankful don't have a sore butt from uncomfortable chairs/bleachers, other people's scream out of control children and don't have to watch the 300th sit up they are doing for conditioning.

That said I know it's hard. But I find I love DDs gymnastics even more that I am not there for every single step. Once they get into team it is a lot of repetition and watching it over and over will drive you mad. You start to compare you child to others (don't they all progress at their own pace) and you will start to flinch every time they fall on something (and they will notice and it will undermine their confidence).

Just prepare your DD. Let her know that you support her but mommy can't watch all the time anymore. Tell her it's her thing and you can't wait for the surprise of all she can do when you see her at the meets.

 

[samsmama]

The transition from watching to not watching is so hard. But I'll let you in on a little secret, once you stop watching and then have to for one practice, you'll be thankful don't have a sore butt from uncomfortable chairs/bleachers, other people's scream out of control children and don't have to watch the 300th sit up they are doing for conditioning.

That said I know it's hard. But I find I love DDs gymnastics even more that I am not there for every single step. Once they get into team it is a lot of repetition and watching it over and over will drive you mad.

So true! I used to watch every practice when DS was on preteam, then I stopped once his hours doubled. I thought I would miss it, but it was amazing how much time I got back! Now I watch for maybe half an hour to an hour once a week or so and I enjoy the times I am there so much more.

 

[billise]

I have definitely found that the more I watch, the more critical I become of DD. I do find myself sitting there a bit irritated that my 8 year old only stuck 5 of her 10 beam handstands when she's been "doing that skill since she was 5". HOW CRAZY IS THAT!?!? Of course I don't say anything to her but I can definitely feel the CGM in me coming out the more I watch. Time constraints, boredom and fear of becoming a CGM have me watching maybe an hour of practice a month if that

 

[Mom2-4]

I have definitely found that the more I watch, the more critical I become of DD. I do find myself sitting there a bit irritated that my 8 year old only stuck 5 of her 10 beam handstands when she's been "doing that skill since she was 5". HOW CRAZY IS THAT!?!? Of course I don't say anything to her but I can definitely feel the CGM in me coming out the more I watch. Time constraints, boredom and fear of becoming a CGM have me watching maybe an hour of practice a month if that

I watched a couple hours of practice last month and noticed my DD taking a long time to chalk and talk and getting annoyed. I asked her about it she said she feels like that's her favorite time to catch up with teammates. I guess a few reps lost to bonding. I watch way less now lots more time for my other kids. I used to watch thinking "One more thing than I'm out" now I usually watch last half hour if at all of the 4 hr practice.

 

[xxStumpyxx]

I have definitely found that the more I watch, the more critical I become of DD. I do find myself sitting there a bit irritated that my 8 year old only stuck 5 of her 10 beam handstands when she's been "doing that skill since she was 5". HOW CRAZY IS THAT!?!? Of course I don't say anything to her but I can definitely feel the CGM in me coming out the more I watch. Time constraints, boredom and fear of becoming a CGM have me watching maybe an hour of practice a month if that

I can relate to that a lot. I still stick around the gym due to the logistcs of it but I will admit that I found myself falling in a similar trap. I gave myself two choices - either to leave the gym and find something else to do or stay at the gym and keep away from the viewing area, our viewing area has a cafe attached to it and it is possible to sit where you cannot see what is going on in the gym. As it is still horrible weather in the Uk I have to stay in the gym so option two is best for me at the moment, hopefully better weather and lighter evenings will make it easier to leave. I live in walking distance to the gym (25 mins) so could walk home after dropping off at the gym. Everything is changing at the gym and I will need to go to the gym 5 times a week (on one of the day's twice), both of my girls will be on different nights except a Saturday when they will both be in on different times.

I do like watching but it can have its problems if I don't behave lol. I will always hide at the back if I feel any crazy building up lol

 

[SignHere]

At DDs old gym, there was basically a no viewing policy. Parents were allowed in the gym once every 6 weeks or so to watch. At DDs new gym, there is a very nice viewing area. Now that I can watch any time I want, I don't really want to! Watching 4 hours of gym practice is boring!

 

[Gymdad2]

A very happy day for me was when dd got her driver's licence.

 

[Anna's_Mom]

When practice was only an hour I stayed and watched just because by the time I went home I would have to turn around and go back to pick her up. Now that they are longer I never stay. Partly because it is boring, partly because it is uncomfortable (there is a viewing area but the chairs kill my back and the crying toddlers drive me batty) and partly to avoid becoming a CGM. But mostly because if I stayed and watched I would never be able to get anything done at home. And two days a week practice is while I am at work anyway, so that's not even an option. If I were at practice no one would eat, have clean laundry or a clean house.

The gym gets annoyed at me because I drop her in the parking lot and you are supposed to walk them in. She's 12 -- I'm not going to park, get out of the car, walk 20 yards to the door and then reverse. I watch her from the car into the gym but that's it. I do have to go in and pick her up as they won't let them leave without an adult in evidence.