Parents What do you really wish you could tell the coach?

[2gymkids]

First would be can we PLEASE get the summer schedule?? I work and I really need to figure out my camp and childcare options before they're all gone!

Second would be thank you, thank you, thank you. You've known DD since she was 2 (although you haven't had her in your group the whole time) and it's been wonderful to watch the relationship grow, especially this year. Thank you for hugging her when she's hurt, pushing her through frustrated and scared tears to the other side, and screaming with joy across the gym to the other coaches when she gets a skill that was hard or scary for her. Thank you for giving a very shy, anxious little girl something to be proud of as she cartwheels her way around the park or the playground at school. Thank you for making her proud of her strong body.
And please don't ever break up her little pre-team group. I love them. They're such a small group of sweet girls and I love the bond they're creating. It doesn't hurt that the parents are pretty nice, too.

I did try to express at least some of this in my Christmas card to her coach. I'm not sure how eloquent I was as I was crying as I wrote it.

 

[tooootsie]

I would tell our HC and owners the following:
You are amazing kind people who took my children in like part of the family. You have encouraged and challenged my girls to better themselves not only in the gym but also in their everyday life. My girls spend most of their free time there and I am so thankful that they have you all as a second set of parents. Thank you for everything you do.

 

[luvmygymdtr]

What would I love to say to my daughter’s coaches? I would love them to know why I enjoy being an active member of CB. I’m certain it’s not for the reasons they think.

I’m a researcher/fact checker by nature...a trait, I’ve discovered, many of us on this forum shares. In fact, I discovered CB researching back fractures. And, after already doing my fair share of research on the sport of gymnastics, I couldn’t believe the treasure trove of information found in one spot. Have I used CB to answer questions I should have come to you, as my daughter’s coaches, to answer? Maybe, however, these questions pop into my head, sipping coffee at either 5:00 a.m. in the morning, or early on a weekend morning, or around dinner time, when I’m habitually in front of my computer. Times that I’m certain you would not welcome a phone call regarding a trivial question about “rest” or “talent” or “what-not”. Trust me, I’m not the shy wall-flower you all think I am. When I have a real problem you have always been the first to know and, when you don’t hear from my husband and I it’s because we are happy with how things are going. You will always hear from us when we aren’t. And, I promise, we will always look to you when there are “real” decisions to be made. And frankly, with 100+ girls on your team, that’s 200+ parents, I consider myself doing you the favor by staying “out of the way”.

CB has helped give me the framework I’ve needed to identify what will make my daughter a successful gymnast. With that framework, and the research I’ve done regarding other area gyms, not to mention the current success, and philosophy of your gym, it has led my husband and I to strongly believe our daughter, barring any great changes within your facility or with our daughter’s goals or happiness, is at the best place in the area to reach her potential. I drew that conclusion on my own. She is at your gym, not because we have settled on the gym that’s 5 minutes from our home, not because you have told me your gym is the best, but because I think I have well researched the topic and drawn that conclusion. I didn’t reach that conclusion overnight, that was nearly 2 years worth of “looking into it”. In addition, When I go to watch, I am there strictly because I miss my daughter, and it’s my way to spend some time with her, not to check up on what’s going on. I am confident that when she is at the gym, she is at her second home where she is safe, having fun, and progressing in a way that is perfect for her….all things I have learned are important because of CB.

Thanks for all you do for her, each one of you is amazing to her, she thinks everyone of you is amazing, and wants nothing more than to please each and everyone of you. My husband and I are eternally grateful.

 

[cbifoja]

Oh! Add I want a freakin' summer schedule already to my list too!

 

[ShesAMonkey]

I had a dream recently. At first, when I woke up, I thought it was an odd dream. Now that I have analyzed it further, it's not so odd.

In the dream, one of dd's coaches (head girls coach) was sitting next to her on a couch. She was speaking to dd, telling her that she was so proud of her. All of her accomplishments this season. All of her hard work and sacrifice. She said she hoped dd would continue to soar. That she knew that dd could do it.

This is exactly the opposite that we get, in reality. This coach is notorious for being negative and overly tough on the kids. Thankfully, she is not the coach who works with dd most often. It would be nice to hear some praise once in a while, instead of hearing all the things she still is doing wrong.

Don't get me wrong, she is a good coach, but a little positive feedback goes a long way. So I guess that is what I would tell this one coach, in particular.

I would also remind them all that these girls are 9, 10, 11 years old. They sacrifice a lot of free time and social stuff for the sake of gymnastics. Please allow them to giggle and goof off sometimes. They are just little girls, even though they are also fierce competitive gymnasts...

 

[Flipflopz]

We are on the same team, and want the same things.

 

[Lynn]

If I had read this a year ago, my response would be entirely different.

HC1N...words cannot express how much I appreciate what you have done for my DD. She has had a few challenges over the season and you were by far the only one to work her thru them and pull her out on the other side. You had faith in her and knew what she was capable of. She admires you and looks up to you. You handle yourself well in the gym and never waiver to outwardly show your disappointment, anger or anything along those lines. You are what my girl needs in a coach. Pushes her but also takes the time to realize what she as an individual gymnast needs from you! I look forward to the new season.

HC2Z...I sure wish I (and DD) understood what has changed with you since last season. Last yr you were super supportive of all girls and rarely showed favoritism. This year, you have been less than encouraging and your behavior at state was appalling with regards to the girls who weren't doing as well as others. You need to remember that the girls and parents as well can see you at any given time during a meet. And I know a few who did see this behavior. My girl came back from 2 injuries under your watch and the second one you had already given up on her before she had a chance to get back in the game. Thankfully, she surpassed and excelled when it came right down to it. I hope whatever challenge has come over you in the world of gymnastics or our gym, you can deal with it and get your head back into it.

Gym owners...well you have once again caused a stirring with your disorganization behind the scenes. You send out one set of information, then a few hours later send out a revised email. Not long after that, send out another basically sounding upset that parents have asked questions and none of which have been clarified to this point. This back peddling business isn't working and sadly you have been called out on it.

Now with that all being said...on a personal level with the gym owners, I have a good relationship with them and they have worked with me many times. Several parents have issues with them personally and with HC1N. So much that we feared HC1N when DD started training with her. She has not shown any of what the rumor mill reported.

 

[kandkfunk]

I can't believe how many of you still haven't received a summer schedule! That would drive me nuts.

 

[profmom]

I expect that many folks are in the same boat as us -- owners and program directors are coaches with athletes competing at nationals this weekend, and they just haven't had the head space to put together the whole jigsaw puzzle of various levels/groups of team gymnasts (perhaps both boys and girls), rec schedules, and summer camps. Yes, late next week is getting kind of close to summer, but I'm pretty confident that they won't choose to reinvent the wheel. The only questions for me are which spokes each of my gymnasts will occupy, and how they will configure the groups. I have my own hopes and fears for my prospective L8 girl and L6 boy, but I'm confident that whatever happens, no matter which parents/gymnasts are outraged, elated, disappointed, shocked, or smug, it will all settle down in a few weeks.

 

[Midwestmommy]

Let's see, to one former coach (not a coach at current gym): why could you not see that your eye rolling, mean-spirited, cell-phone holding, genetic expert without any college science courses, thinking you were above-it-all self not see that you were not really cut out for working with little kids with fun gymnastics dreams? A group of really awesome kids and parents have now out of necessity scattered to no less than five gyms who are giving them opportunities and seeing potential in them to acheive dreams that you laughed at.

To my daughter's coaches: You are all very different and bring your unique talents and entertaining personalities and love of kids into my daughter's life. Thank you. And thank you for understanding that gymnastics is what she does, not who she is. Who she is, is a bunch of amazing qualities that will hopefully bring her through her stages of life with health, happiness, kindness, success, spiritual growth, and humility.

 

[Natalia]

Let's see, to one former coach (not a coach at current gym): why could you not see that your eye rolling, mean-spirited, cell-phone holding, genetic expert without any college science courses, thinking you were above-it-all self not see that you were not really cut out for working with little kids with fun gymnastics dreams? A group of really awesome kids and parents have now out of necessity scattered to no less than five gyms who are giving them opportunities and seeing potential in them to acheive dreams that you laughed at.

To my daughter's coaches: You are all very different and bring your unique talents and entertaining personalities and love of kids into my daughter's life. Thank you. And thank you for understanding that gymnastics is what she does, not who she is. Who she is, is a bunch of amazing qualities that will hopefully bring her through her stages of life with health, happiness, kindness, success, spiritual growth, and humility.

Amen

 

[Ariekannairb]

Oh, now I want to talk to our former coach:

I realize that being 24 means you know EVERYTHING, and I was more than willing to give you a shot because for a while, you did know more than I did, but the moment you started bringing your boyfriend into the gym with you, you lost me. I could tell when you were not really "there". You would come in with your makeup on and hair fixed and tell us all you were going dancing after and I could tell you had already checked out. And yes, I know the level 2 girls are cute and fun and I know that the level 4-5 have super fun skills, but you just sort of left our level 3 girls hanging and that was so unfair to these girls who work so hard for you when you obviously didn't want to be bothered with them! By the time we left, I was so sick of looking at your FB page and seeing picture after picture after picture of the level 2's when I had to beg for a picture with the level 3 girls at their first meet. And if we had stayed and heard "Level 2 is our dream team" one more time I might scream! You do realize that at 4 most of the girls there are there because their parents don't yet understand what gymnastics takes from their families and once they realize it, they will find something else? And to top off this, HOW DARE YOU punish my child for doing incorrect form on her skills when you are not doing anything to help her correct it. HOW DARE YOU sit on your cell phone during a meet, yes DURING a meet, while my daughter is sat beside you wondering why you aren't helping her warm up. She was so excited to be with you that day and so nervous being the only one that was competing from her team (because she leveled up into a new division). You could have taken that time to encourage her, but at the very least you could have helped her warm up and stretch! She pulled a muscle in her back and a tendon in her arm because I ignored my parental instinct and allowed myself to believe you knew what you were doing. I guess I should thank you though, because in some ways we learned what a real gym looks like, by seeing yours compared to the one we are at now and thankfully, I learned that the coach doesn't always know best, and to have the courage to stand up when my mommy-dar is going off before my daughter sustained a life changing injury. Good Riddance.


Ok, before I get flamed, I have not spoken these words to anyone outside of my husband and a close friend. When the other parents asked me why I left, for the sake of not being "that mom" I simply said that we found a gym that better met K's needs. I said the same the to the coach when I let her know we were leaving. Not that she cared. I basically got a note back saying "Ok". She knew what was going on because I had expressed concern several times, but was told that "oh she will get it eventually". My intentions were to leave the gym as quickly and quietly as possible and I believe I did that, but boy did I want to YELL to the other parents to get out. Ahhh, it feels freeing to say that to someone

 

[Lynn]

Oh, now I want to talk to our former coach:

I realize that being 24 means you know EVERYTHING, and I was more than willing to give you a shot because for a while, you did know more than I did, but the moment you started bringing your boyfriend into the gym with you, you lost me. I could tell when you were not really "there". You would come in with your makeup on and hair fixed and tell us all you were going dancing after and I could tell you had already checked out. And yes, I know the level 2 girls are cute and fun and I know that the level 4-5 have super fun skills, but you just sort of left our level 3 girls hanging and that was so unfair to these girls who work so hard for you when you obviously didn't want to be bothered with them! By the time we left, I was so sick of looking at your FB page and seeing picture after picture after picture of the level 2's when I had to beg for a picture with the level 3 girls at their first meet. And if we had stayed and heard "Level 2 is our dream team" one more time I might scream! You do realize that at 4 most of the girls there are there because their parents don't yet understand what gymnastics takes from their families and once they realize it, they will find something else? And to top off this, HOW DARE YOU punish my child for doing incorrect form on her skills when you are not doing anything to help her correct it. HOW DARE YOU sit on your cell phone during a meet, yes DURING a meet, while my daughter is sat beside you wondering why you aren't helping her warm up. She was so excited to be with you that day and so nervous being the only one that was competing from her team (because she leveled up into a new division). You could have taken that time to encourage her, but at the very least you could have helped her warm up and stretch! She pulled a muscle in her back and a tendon in her arm because I ignored my parental instinct and allowed myself to believe you knew what you were doing. I guess I should thank you though, because in some ways we learned what a real gym looks like, by seeing yours compared to the one we are at now and thankfully, I learned that the coach doesn't always know best, and to have the courage to stand up when my mommy-dar is going off before my daughter sustained a life changing injury. Good Riddance.


Ok, before I get flamed, I have not spoken these words to anyone outside of my husband and a close friend. When the other parents asked me why I left, for the sake of not being "that mom" I simply said that we found a gym that better met K's needs. I said the same the to the coach when I let her know we were leaving. Not that she cared. I basically got a note back saying "Ok". She knew what was going on because I had expressed concern several times, but was told that "oh she will get it eventually". My intentions were to leave the gym as quickly and quietly as possible and I believe I did that, but boy did I want to YELL to the other parents to get out. Ahhh, it feels freeing to say that to someone

 

[Lynn]

Oops! Got a little ahead of myself there in my last post!

I meant to add I can totally relate to this with my DD's former coach. I cannot begin to tell you how much I would have loved to have said all that to her. Coaching was just not for her and frankly, working with kids over the age of 6 wouldn't be the best either.

 

[MMG2006]

I will never again question your judgement because at one time I did... I am so sorry....the hours you spend coaching, disciplining, ( putting up with) And NURTURING my daughter are priceless and I am forever grateful!!!

 

[MMG2006]

And summer schedule please

 

[rjb123]

I think I would tell them that after three years I trust them. Which is a pretty big deal because I don't give my trust easily or freely. But I can tell that they really do care about my DD, really do want the best for her and do try to put her in the training groups and levels that are the best place for HER.
I would also tell them thank you for knowing my DD and "getting" her. They know when to push her harder, when to back off a bit and when to dole out that praise that makes her glow with pride. They also know when she can and can't give any more. So thank you for that. Thank you for having a part in developing this little girl who one day will go out in the world (a tough one for women at times!) and KNOW that she CAN do anything. Because she CAN push through a tough day. She CAN master a skill that was tough. She CAN face down opposition with confidence and a cool head. She CAN face defeat and victory with humility and grace. Because they are teaching her these things every day in the gym.

 

[Ali'sMom]

To the HC/owners, I would have to say:
Thank you so much for letting DD stay pre-team for two years, when you wanted to move her up. Thank you for the encouragement you gave her when she did finally move up and compete. Thank you for making her feel so special for winning that first 1st AA in L2. And L3. And the biggest, thank you for giving her the extra encouragement she needed in newL3 when a 1st AA was nowhere to be seen. I will never forget the huge hug you gave her when she finally nailed her beam dismount - you didn't care about the score, you cared that she worked really hard!

 

[Ali'sMom]

Oh, now I want to talk to our former coach:

Ooh, I have that too:

I hope that when you saw DD at the meet last year, that you realized it was the little girl that you pretty much bullied out of your gym. I hope you understand that if you had just given her space about moving up to team, that she eventually would have, and those years wouldn't have been wasted. And I certainly hope you took notice of her name when she was up on the podium for all 4 events and your gymnasts weren't (oops, was that my outside voice??). I couldn't take the weekly pushing for us to move her up when we knew our daughter better than you did. Had you trusted us, and her, she would have been on that podium for YOU.

 

[happychaos]

I couldn't take the weekly pushing for us to move her up when we knew our daughter better than you did. Had you trusted us, and her, she would have been on that podium for YOU.

Wait.....This is CB. The only opinion allowed here is to "trust the coach". Truly. Every. Single. Thread.