I visited a gym a year or so ago in a different region, and WOW. I was shocked at one of the compulsory coaches. Where I attend and the gyms around me there is a very formal environment- coaches personal life does not get brought up, and coaches are very firm, but kind. Whereas at this gym the gymmies seemed to be involved and in the know about the coaches personal lives, and the yelling/half-insults were insane.
By half-insults I mean:
-"What was that, you are done. Get off bars."
-"You better hit this or else you will condition the rest of the day."
-"Never let me see that again."
-"You are a sloppy mess today, squeeze or else you are going home."
-"You clearly are just being lazy, get back up there right now."
These were yelled across the gym to proficient, clearly hardworking athletes.And then things like singling out one of the girls and making everyone watch if they didn't get a drill perfect the first time, and laughing at attempts of new skills.
Maybe there are regional differences, but that would NEVER fly at my gym, yet no one seemed to care there besides me, the girls didn't even bat an eye. Here though? The coach would get a firm talking to and if it persisted, maybe even let off.
All this to say, I do think that verbal abuse/"tough coaching" is unfortunately, subjective. Especially when it comes to the case of something above, where some people seem to care and some don't.