Parents When to decide for your child they should retire?

[rjb123]

Have you thought of just telling her that she is going to "take a break" for a few months? I did this with my youngest. She *liked* gym, but didn't LOVE it like her sister. Frankly, she really just loved her sister and she loved just seeing her when she was at gym. Big sister would pass her in between rotations and would give lil sister a hug, that sort of thing (they are just really close!). But little sis didn't really like gym enough to work at it. So we told her that she was going to take a break, try some new things and if she missed it and wanted to go back after two months - she could do it. Her coaches were good with this- they knew all of the above and while they were fine with her staying, I think they wanted her to find her own passion too! In around three weeks, she told us that she had NO desire to go back. When we would go in to pick up her sister, her old coaches always came over for hugs (still do!) and would ask her if she wanted to come back, but she had found a new *real* love- tennis. Now she is super happy, and loves to tell her old coaches all about what she is doing. And they tell her how they can't wait to watch her in Wimbledon! (lol! Its like the Olympics for tennis!) I really don't think that she would have ever told us or admitted to us that she didn't want to do gym- that is not her personality. Taking a break really was the BEST thing for her. Just something to think about.

 

[mls529]

I would also ask her to take a break. My DD had fears that literally came out of nowhere when she turned 11 (beam BHS) and the fears were starting the spread. She was previously fearless - always willing to go for big skills. I first talked to her HC, and while she tried to be supportive, it was clear nothing was going to change with the way her coaches approached fears (she actually told me "fears are contagious to other gymnasts so we need to figure this out.") Long story short - I told my DD that she is taking a break and we can figure out what to do. Turns out, she absolutely still loved the sport and missed it terribly, and while she was at the old gym, she NEVER would even let me mention Xcel (it was the red headed stepchild at old gym). But after 2 weeks at home, she became more open to checking out new gyms/Xcel programs because she missed the sport. She did a 1 week trial at a new gym's Xcel program and she has been thriving ever since. She is now a successful Platinum gymnast - she never did get her Beam BHS back, but does a variety of other beam skills that work well for her and luckily conquered some of her other fears. To OP, I know your DD said she is not open to a different program, but sometimes taking time to step away allows a kid to see that change can be a good thing. Good luck! I truly hate blocks and fears!

 

[mls529]

Sorry, one other thing. Making a kid stand on the beam will not help her overcome any fear AT ALL. It absolutely makes it worse and destroys self-confidence. Trust me - BTDT! I hate that any coach uses that strategy.

 

[mommyof1]

I think a break is a great idea. If she's staying in gymnastics just because she can't imagine her life without the sport, a few weeks off will let her see what that life would really be like. Either she'll decide that a life outside the gym is actually what she wants and move on, or she'll be ready to try a new gym.

 

[mobeans]

Can she do another skill in place of the BHSBHS? I think a teammate of my daughters did two BWO and then one single BHS. A lot of tweaking can be done to get the minimums in. And honestly if that is the one skill holding her back she could even go in with a lower start value. Most important is for her to feel safe and to overcome her fear on her own time.

 

[thefellowsmom]

Can she do another skill in place of the BHSBHS? I think a teammate of my daughters did two BWO and then one single BHS. A lot of tweaking can be done to get the minimums in. And honestly if that is the one skill holding her back she could even go in with a lower start value. Most important is for her to feel safe and to overcome her fear on her own time.

My dd did a handstand bhs in level 7 and won beam all season with it. Her immediate reaction to me telling her about this situation was “um. Why doesn’t she do something else, there are lots of options”. Lay on the thick 15 year old snark when you say that. LOL!