WAG Woops, CGM slip

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tpMom

Proud Parent
Hi All - recovering CGM here. I've been doing pretty good this year just getting my kid to practice, being a shoulder to cry on during hard days and a cheerleader during good ones, but State is coming up in a few days and it's been stressful :-/.

Today my daughter let me know that she will probably not be trained by the head coach next year. When we started at the gym last year, he was training levels 4-9. This year, when she moved up from a 3 to become a 5, her lower level coach moved with her. And our level 5s have done remarkably well. Despite being a small team in a small town our gymnasts, including my daughter, regularly place first in their age groups and our tiny team of 4 level 5s have taken first or second in the team competition at every meet they've been to.

The coach is great, I love her, she's obviously doing a fabulous job. But, it's her first year coaching past level 3. I've been secretly worried that she hasn't been uptraining the girls like the head coach would if he was working with them. (I get it, really, I know this is my CGM speaking). AND, whenever he took a few minutes to work with DD, she almost always picked something up that she couldn't with her regular coach. Not to mention the coach right now is still coaching 2-3 as well as levels 4&5 AND was the head Xcel coach. Xcel trains Tuesdays and Thursdays, which meant her JO kids could only train MWF. Not a big deal when training hours are 10.5 per week, but pretty impossible for upper levels that get between 17-25 hours per week.

The thing I've kept in my head is that next year, when my gymmie finally hit optionals, she would finally start training with the HC. She'd get the 17 hours a week of practice his girls did and she'd have the chance to really learn from a coach who has taken girls pretty far in upper level optionals. But, it sounds like he's going to stick with the girls he's already training, and DD's coach is going to add level 6 to her work load. When my daughter told me, my CGM broke through my tenuous grasp.

I have to admit that I got pretty upset, and I let her see it. The poor kid was almost in tears when she realized I wasn't as excited as she was. I had to stop, take a breath, apologize to her and let her know that I thought she was an amazing kid and gymnast no matter who was coaching her. I also made sure to let her know that I was just excited for her to work with the HC but I loved her current coach and I knew she'd do a great job coaching level 6 next year.

Inside, I'm still kind of bummed out - but I guess it's good practice for me to reign in the over-controlling, overly involved parts of my personality and just remember that this is not my sport and it's not my life. As long as the coach is safe and my daughter is happy then I should be happy too... It's going to take some work though!
 
Ah yes, that CGM creeps out sometimes; I was just there last week and had to reel it in (not very successfully). As long as we recognize it, I guess.

Maybe they will take some of the coach's other responsibilities away as she focuses on the lv 6s. Sounds like your DD is responding really well to her, and honestly if she can coach lv 5, she should have no problem with coaching 6.

Keep us posted.
 
Yeah I agree with Mish. In the grand scheme of things, it sounds like the coach is doing a great job and will continue to do so with level 6. That being said, I get it. We'd always do things differently if we were in charge, right? And it's hard when you have your heart set on a certain expectation and that suddenly gets taken away. But hang in there, and way to recognize that CGM and reign her in.

PS, have you have any conversations with the current coach? It does seem like a lot on her plate. I just wonder if she's given off the impression she's a bit overwhelmed or if that's a concern of hers with taking on level 6?
 
Speaking as a coach, that kind of mindset is really hurtful. I am a developmental/lower level coach, I work with pre-team kids up through the equivalent of level 4/5 (our gym is Xcel only). Kids move to the HC when they get to around level 5/6 skills. There are parents who view me as the "little kids" coach and cannot wait to have their child move out of my group- no matter how successful or happy their child is with me. Nothing I do, no credential I possess, nothing the HC can say about me will ever change their mind and honestly, it hurts. Am I capable of coaching the higher levels? Yes. I choose to stick with the younger/lower level kids because it's what I love, but to many of the gym parents I will never be good enough. My kids do very well, just as well as our upper level kids. When my girls move to the higher level group they are prepared and almost immediately fit right in with the other kids. Two years ago the HC took 3 of my girls and had them skip a level. I kept the rest of their teammates. The teammates who stuck with me are just as skilled as their teammates who moved to the upper level group sooner.
If your daughter is doing well, is happy, and progressing, you have nothing to worry about. This coach knows your daughter, and your daughter trusts her and that is worth a whole lot in this sport. Her taking on the level 6 coaching job also says that the HC trusts her and her capabilities and sees the work she is doing with her current group and wants to keep it going. Those are all great signs! The logistics of gym time and this coaches schedule will fall into place. If your HC is successful, I am sure he values that success and desires to keep it going. That means solid coaching at the lower levels. He's not going to do something to jeopardize getting a steady stream of upper level kids sent his way.
 
Speaking as a coach, that kind of mindset is really hurtful. I am a developmental/lower level coach, I work with pre-team kids up through the equivalent of level 4/5 (our gym is Xcel only). Kids move to the HC when they get to around level 5/6 skills. There are parents who view me as the "little kids" coach and cannot wait to have their child move out of my group- no matter how successful or happy their child is with me. Nothing I do, no credential I possess, nothing the HC can say about me will ever change their mind and honestly, it hurts. Am I capable of coaching the higher levels? Yes. I choose to stick with the younger/lower level kids because it's what I love, but to many of the gym parents I will never be good enough. My kids do very well, just as well as our upper level kids. When my girls move to the higher level group they are prepared and almost immediately fit right in with the other kids. Two years ago the HC took 3 of my girls and had them skip a level. I kept the rest of their teammates. The teammates who stuck with me are just as skilled as their teammates who moved to the upper level group sooner.
If your daughter is doing well, is happy, and progressing, you have nothing to worry about. This coach knows your daughter, and your daughter trusts her and that is worth a whole lot in this sport. Her taking on the level 6 coaching job also says that the HC trusts her and her capabilities and sees the work she is doing with her current group and wants to keep it going. Those are all great signs! The logistics of gym time and this coaches schedule will fall into place. If your HC is successful, I am sure he values that success and desires to keep it going. That means solid coaching at the lower levels. He's not going to do something to jeopardize getting a steady stream of upper level kids sent his way.
You are totally right, I know that my daughter's current coach is absolutely phenomenal and we are lucky to be working with her. More than that, my daughter would be thrilled for the chance to keep working with her. I know that my daughter's coach is much more than just a "little kids" coach, and any excitement we had to move her to the head coach was more about the milestone it represented than anything else (since he only coaches the "big girls" it would mean that she finally got to be a "big girl" in the gym too, if that makes any sense). My knee-jerk reaction was much more about a long, exhausting day, an unexpected comment, and my immediate concern about the schedule more than anything. Not even about the coach having enough time for my kid, but suddenly I can't predict what the new schedule might be, which was scary and overwhelming on the tail end of an extremely long day. It was silly and unfair to be upset for even that brief moment and I'm already over it, especially since this came from my kid and not her coach so I don't actually know anything about what is really going to happen yet. Thank goodness for this wonderful community I can turn to, to keep me in check and remind me about what's important.
 
So you are upset she is working with a coach that is getting great results? In Level 5 no less?

I. Glad you are over it.
 
I totally understand your reaction and any trepidation you felt, and I don't feel like it's insulting to lower level coaches. A coach could be an excellent communicator, coach, motivator, leader, etc, and still not be prepared or equipped to coach a certain level. Every high level optional coach had to start somewhere, and have their first group of girls over level 3 at some time. I would sure hope that if my DD was in that first group, there would be some good oversight and guidance from a more experienced coach. It says nothing about your opinion of her as a person or coach in general, that you would question her ability to coach higher levels, especially with no record of success at that level to rely on when forming your opinion.
 
The difference between level 5 and 6 is very small. If she’s doing well with the 5s, she’ll more than likely do well with 6s.

As far as a coach having quick success with a group, it doesn’t always mean it’s what they’re saying. Many times it’s just a different voice, a little more effort, etc. Most experienced coaches can tell you that if they introduce a hobo off the street as a great coach, they’ll get results in the short term.
 
This is very true. I have noticed with my DDs that when they occasionally have a different coach they usually pay a little closer attention, try a little harder, try to prove themselves. I'm sure there's also something to be said for a fresh perspective- but that does not at all mean there was a problem with the original perpective. This past fall my one DD got her beam dismount better- and that was with a rec coach! I'm well aware that the regular coach has done all the drills and build up before that point.
 
As long as the coach is safe and my daughter is happy then I should be happy too... It's going to take some work though!

I do not think this is always the case. You are paying (a lot) of money to have your child train in a sport so it is reasonable to want the coaching to be very good. That definitely includes safe and happy but safe and happy cannot be all of it.

I DO think that it is far to early to tell if this coaching situation (basically simply a difference from what you expected, right?) means there will be any issues with training going forward. This is the probably the time a parent can tell themselves to take a wait and see attitude. If there are ever clear and specific concerns (for example, your daughter's progress seems to slow more than would be typical or you hear the coach is not keeping good order at practice or whatever) you can revisit the issue in your mind and, if/when needed, talk to the coach or HC about those specific concerns.
 
The coach is great, I love her, she's obviously doing a fabulous job. But, it's her first year coaching past level 3. I've been secretly worried that she hasn't been uptraining the girls like the head coach would if he was working with them.

I'm going to try not to feed the CGM here ;) but this is a legitimate question mark that makes sense that you would wonder about.

I had this concern early in compulsories, but I buried it in the name of "not being CGM", and I unfortunately turned out to be right. Despite being a podium queen in compulsories, my DD was not nearly prepared for optionals after L5 (compared to girls from other programs who were scoring similarly to her in L3-5) and had to spend a year in a different program trying to catch up. She's (at least) a year behind where I'm 99% sure she would be if I had made a different gym choice. Now does the year matter in the big picture? Maybe, maybe not. But it is a regret that I didn't listen to my own interpretation of what I was observing with my own eyes, as it negatively affected my DD's confidence, belief in herself, and outlook toward her future goals.

So don't feel bad about asking yourself this question. If this is truly a concern, do your research on upper level requirements just so you're an educated observer. Not saying you should observe every class, but perhaps catch some. Ask questions here on CB. After some time, if you have concerns or questions about readiness for next levels, seek open communication with the coach to aim for understanding.

"Not being a CGM" doesn't mean be blind to everything. Be aware, informed, open-minded, and seek understanding. Trust in coaches and a program is built and earned, not automatically endowed.
 

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