Parents Advice Please...DD Skill Set Not Matched

[sharkgirl]

Hi Fellow Parents,
I'm new here officially after lurking for several weeks. What a great source of support for each other and our children. - Thanks CB!!!

So on to my question. My DD just turned 6 and is in kindy. She started at our club 14 mo. ago in a pre-school class. Over the summer she was moved up to Level 1. She was there only 4 weeks before moving up to a new class and new coach. The class isn't level 2 but called "Little Advanced". Essentially she has now been in this class with this coach for 5 mo. Her skill set however does not match the more advanced girls that were already in the class. What's even more difficult is the several that ARE more advanced, are the one's getting all the coaches attention. It's gotten so bad now that when she is struggling with an exercise, coach will look at her and walk around her instead of correcting her form. So while others her age are perfecting press handstands, my DD and others are still working on headstands. I'm very frustrated and she's starting to get discouraged because she isn't getting help. My thoughts are to request to move her back to her prior level 1 coach for the remainder of the year. She really liked that coach and it would restore some of her confidence. Any suggestions or experience would be greatly appreciated!!!

 

[Bobby]

I wish I had a suggestion but I don't.
I've certainly noticed that certain girls attract MUCH more of the coach's time, attention, and energy. It's almost like the coach decides who's going to be the best, then it becomes self-fulfilling because they devote themselves accordingly.
In the past my DD had become the lucky bunny, but the coach dropped her like a hot potato this week when there was a more advanced girl in her group.
I can hardly complain that's she's not favourite any more though can I?

 

[emandelsmom]

Has hse mastered the level one skills? Are the level ones working on learning level 2 skills? Meet with other coach and see if you can find out some exercises to do with her at home to help her master the level 2 skills. The headstand is a level 2 skill, it is part of the level 2 floor routine in USAG. My level 2 daughter has spent much time working on her headstand while the older girls worked on other skills. This is a skill that just needs to be practiced over and over again. Both of my daughters have been there. Sounds like she is just getting practice on the skill. Is she being completely ignored or is the coach walking among the girls and correcting her body postion and moving on, but spending more time with the other girls? Is you daughter asking for help? I have never seen a child ask for help and not get it. Is she competiting level on this year? I would hate for her to spend the year doing level one when she has mastered it.
Just some thoughts.

Megan

 

[Shelovesthebars]

This is really frustrating and you are not alone. I think we have all been there at one time or another. The trend at our gym when new ones move into a class is to try to move the kids who have already been in that class along a little faster so that they can move up to the next level. When that happens, generally the "new" kids (who stay) get a lot of attention and excell. Then, when these kids really are just fine tuning things, another batch of new kids moves in. The new kids get to watch the experienced kids and learn what is expected at that level. Then the kids who used to be the new kids move along and it starts all over again. Does any of this make sense? It seems that in our preschool classes we always have a mix but it seems to work over time. Try to be patient. You can always just bring up your concerns with the coach but try not to compare her to the other kids. Ask the coach how things work and if there is a plan per say of her being able to acquire the skills she needs. I hope this helps.

 

[gymnut1]

I've certainly noticed that certain girls attract MUCH more of the coach's time, attention, and energy. It's almost like the coach decides who's going to be the best, then it becomes self-fulfilling because they devote themselves accordingly.
quote]

Unfortunately this is very true. I can name the coaches who don't on one hand. The 'sparkliest' kids do tend to get more attention than the 'ploddys'.

I have also noticed that the kids that are 'bigged up' the most tend to fall the hardest when they hit the fear factor (usually the back walkover or BHS on beam) This is when the ploddys pull through. Sparklies are easier to coach but they don't always shine in the long run.

 

[gym law mom]

Have you spoken with dd's current coach? Might try a very laid back approach saying that dd is feeling she's not getting the skills she should and is this about where she should be in this class? Don't get into what the coach does with any other girls---just focus on your dd and her feelings. Remember some of the girls that are working harder skills have been in that class for at least 5 mos longer than your dd.

In approaching the coach, set up a time, she's not racing from class to class. She may say that dd is just about where she should be for her age and experience. Press handstands are not easy and she may just not be ready to work on them. More communication from the coach would be helpful. Once you've spoken with the current coach, it may give you more information to decide about keeping her in this class or moving her back.

 

[cathiann]

Have you spoken with dd's current coach? Might try a very laid back approach saying that dd is feeling she's not getting the skills she should and is this about where she should be in this class? Don't get into what the coach does with any other girls---just focus on your dd and her feelings. Remember some of the girls that are working harder skills have been in that class for at least 5 mos longer than your dd.

In approaching the coach, set up a time, she's not racing from class to class. She may say that dd is just about where she should be for her age and experience. Press handstands are not easy and she may just not be ready to work on them. More communication from the coach would be helpful. Once you've spoken with the current coach, it may give you more information to decide about keeping her in this class or moving her back.

I agree--approach the coach in a non-confrontational manner and mention that your daughter is getting frustrated as she's not getting skills and isn't getting the direction she needs. If all else fails, try moving her to a different class at the same level--different coaches have different styles and another might suit your daughter better.

 

[sharkgirl]

Thank you to all who took time to read and answer my post. All great comments and suggestions. I'll follow up in the upcoming weeks on what if anything is done!