Parents Ambivalent about dd joining team

[standsonherhands]

Hi Parents,

I finally decided to join CB so I could post as well as learn from others. My dd is a 7 year old training level 4. She will is waiting for the official invitation to join team, but I'm sure it is coming next month (they have fitted her for competition leo and warm-ups). I have some reservations and hope you have advice for me.

We have a quality gym, I trust the coaches, my dd WANTS to do team, and she seems ready skill-wise. But I recently told a friend that letting her do 8 hours a week plus competitions is the parenting decision I really worry about (other than too much TV).

Can any experienced parents help me come to terms with the time, tiredness, expense, loss of other activities, so I can be enthusiastic and say yes when the invite comes??? I know dd loves gym and she's good at it, but I've been known to worry...

 

[NGL780309]

My DD is 5 on level 4 team and goes 10 hours per week. I don't worry about the hours at all. She's fit, she has fun and she's learning so many other valuable skills in those 10 hours. Her coaches are both great people and the other girls are great kids. To me it's 10 hours in a great environment with great people. She'd probably be spending those hours at home watching TV or whining because she's bored. So I'd say not worry about it all as long as she wants to do it.

 

[LizzieLac]

I don't really have any tips for how to deal with those things (and they are very real) but I can tell you I can sympathize. This past year DD was competing PREP Opt and swim team. With the exception of Sundays she was a practice for either sport every day. The one thing I always remind myself to help keep it in perspective is that I did not want either sport - pratice or meets to become a chore for her and to always remember to let her be a kid.

So, I tried not to get too hung up on missing a practice or missing a meet if something more "fun" came up. Friends birthday parties and sleepover have to be important too at this age (and really any age). It is also how you prevent burnout.

RE: the expense, I have always felt if I can afford it I am willing to pay it. I would rather put money into their sports then on a bunch video game systems or wasteful toys they will soon forget.

RE: the time. It is hard on the whole family. My DS has been dragged to a lot of swim and gymanstics meets. I try not too feel guilty (not very successful), but also try to make things fair and balanced for both kids. So I have actually forced DD to watch DS's baseball games even when she didn't have to get dragged there.

Trust your instincts and try not to listen to other people who are not in your shoes. You know your kids better than anyone and you can tell if the sport becomes too much of a commitment, too expensive, or no longer fun.

I hope your DD gets the official invite soon and has a great season!

 

[mariposa]

I felt the same way when I found out my daughter was going to be moved to level 4 a little before she turned 6. I couldn't fathom having her in the gym so many hours and I was very worried. I even posted about it asking the same question as you.

My daughter was supposed to do 12 hours, but I had her only do 2 days for the first 2 months and then she went the 3 days (4 hours each). She has never had any issues with the hours. Even now, doing 14 hours a week she still loves being there everyday and asks me everyday if the next day she has gym.

I would go into it knowing that sometimes the increase in hours is hard on them and that it is normal. Muscle soreness, being tired, etc. It should start to get better as they adjust to the increase in hours.

We sometimes miss gym for really special activities because I don't want her to feel gym is a career and that she can't miss. Same goes for if she ever decides to say she just doesn't want to go to practice one day (hasn't happened yet, but I am sure it will). It is hard to balance it all sometimes (especially during the school year - though it doesn't apply for us, we have always homeschooled anyway), but if the kid loves gym, it somehow seems to work out.

It is a big commitment for the whole family. Make sure to see how much fundraising you must do, how much time you must put in if your gym hosts meets, etc. If there is a booster club, what requirements are, etc. There is so much to it all, it was overwhelming at first, but now it is just part of life for us all. As long as my daughter is happy and still wants to be there, we will get her there if we can.

And it is definitely hard for families that don't have kids in a sport that requires so much practice to understand how we would let our kid do this. I had a hard time with it at first, so I get that, but I still get friends that are like "14 hours a week? That is crazy! Is she going to the Olympics?" Which always makes me crack up and tell them that no, she won't be going to the Olympics ever, but she loves gym and that is what gym does.

Welcome to the CB. Lots of great people and great info here.

 

[standsonherhands]

Thanks for the sympathy and support. Luckily they have already bumped up her training hours, so her body has adjusted. Adding back school might pose a challenge, but I think she should be able to manage. I like the point about gym being a better thing to spend money on than lots of other things kids might want. Mariposa, I love your line about worrying so much about what a child will become that we forget who she is today (sorry if I paraphrased badly). I think I wondered why commit so much now, when dd is destined to be very tall in the future. I will try to resolve myself to the fact that today she is a gymnast, and I can be happy that she has enough ability to train with the "big girls."

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

She will be fine w/the level 4 hours. As Mariposa said, it's money spent on fitness, friendships and fun. Money, that otherwise is spent on cheap entertainment or worse yet, time listening to how bored she is!!

The other "good" thing, is . . . as she moves up levels, the hours are (usually) added in so slowly, you don't notice so much until one day, you stop and say "WOW, she's working out 16 hours a week PLUS going to school full time!"

Good luck at the beginning of this sometimes really crazy journey!

 

[UnoMas]

I have 2 daughters who do USAG. Older DD is 9 and a level 5. She trains 15 hrs a week. Middle DD is 6 and a level 4. She trains 14 hours a week (she also does TOPs within the 14 hrs).

In January, middle DD's hours went from 5 1/2 hrs to 14. I thought for sure that it would be the end of gymnastics for her. Instead it was just the opposite. It's made her stronger, improved her skills, and her confidence. It has actually made her love gym even more! While she is tired sometimes and enjoys her days off, she also smiles and bounces her way through the 14 hours each week.

Having 2 at the gym for so many hours (and not on the same schedule!) makes things interesting. We have to have a very rigid schedule after school (get leo on, eat snack, and do as much homework as you can before practice). My daughters have been able to get most of their work done so that they have maybe only a little to do when they get home. They actually seem to thrive on our crazy routine! But if school work suffers or either one of them stopped enjoying the ride, we'd pull them out. Right now, it is all working for us. Oh, and the girls also manage to take piano lessons and we are adding one dance class a week this summer and fall! So, other activities are limited, but we fit them in as we can!

My middle DD especially can kind of tend to be a couch potato. Moving to team has done wonders for her in so many ways. But I had many, many worries when we made the switch to the increased hours. It does seem insane at times. And right now, I am working to pay for gymnastics tuition and competitions! It does get very expensive very fast. But the experiences that the girls are having, the friendships, the fitness, and the hard work ethic that they are learning are, for now, worth it!

Good luck to you and your DD. You will know if it is the right choice for you by how you and she deal with it after she starts team. It may work or it may not, but if you don't try it...you'll never know!

 

[mariposa]

Thanks for the sympathy and support. Luckily they have already bumped up her training hours, so her body has adjusted. Adding back school might pose a challenge, but I think she should be able to manage. I like the point about gym being a better thing to spend money on than lots of other things kids might want. Mariposa, I love your line about worrying so much about what a child will become that we forget who she is today (sorry if I paraphrased badly). I think I wondered why commit so much now, when dd is destined to be very tall in the future. I will try to resolve myself to the fact that today she is a gymnast, and I can be happy that she has enough ability to train with the "big girls."

It doesn't matter that she will be tall, truthfully most gymnasts aren't going to make it to elite, which might be the only time being tall could make it really difficult. There have been tall elites though, too! I happen to love tall gymnasts, they usually have such beautiful long lines!

If she is happy now and loves gym, it is where she needs to be. We have a gymnast here in our state that is a "little person" and she does amazing. She is very talented and we just LOVE to watch her, she rocked level 4 and level 5 (at age 7, too). Good thing her parents didn't think she was too short!! We would have missed out on watching a beautiful gymnast! Someone just might think that about your tall gymnast someday.

I like that quote, too! It is so very true.

Here are 2 threads I found for you on "tall gymnasts"

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[mariposa]

She will be fine w/the level 4 hours. As Mariposa said, it's money spent on fitness, friendships and fun. Money, that otherwise is spent on cheap entertainment or worse yet, time listening to how bored she is!!

The other "good" thing, is . . . as she moves up levels, the hours are (usually) added in so slowly, you don't notice so much until one day, you stop and say "WOW, she's working out 16 hours a week PLUS going to school full time!"

Good luck at the beginning of this sometimes really crazy journey!

That was Lizzie Lac that brought up those great points, not me! Very good points though.

 

[standsonherhands]

Thanks again. Our gym does well with State AA champs, L 10s, and college scholarships, but they don't train elites. Nice to know that her height shouldn't stop her from moving through the JO levels. Part of my reluctance was that she would physically outgrow the sport before she was ready to leave it.

 

[gym law mom]

I think you'll find the biggest transition time will be the first few weeks of school. Thats a time you can help dd set up a schedule based on homework and when she has practice. One thing kids learn quickly is time management. She'll be in 2nd grade(?) so not too much homeowork yet.

On weekends when she has a meet, don't plan anything else for dd. Those meets do tend to suck up at least 1 full day and depending on how far away its held, it can feel like the whole weekend's gone before you know it.

I think you'll find she can handled the practice time just fine and if you see she seems overlytired, is having trouble getting homework done etc. then re-visit the whole team thing. Doubt that will happen.

As for the height thing. It may be an issue years from now or may never even come up. If she loves the sport then she and her coaches will find a way to make it work.

GL with team gymnastics and visit often.

 

[standsonherhands]

I do wonder about school starting, but she is only going into 2nd grade, so other than spelling and math facts she shouldn't have much homework. Thanks for the great advice about competition weekends. I can see the whole family needing to regroup after a meet. I appreciate the warm welcome to CB. I'm already getting great advice.