Off Topic Help help help

[ky7403]

I was looking at one of my old friends pictures on facebook today and she has gotten super super super skinny...like anorexic skinny. she isn't built tall and thin like nastia but short and muscular like shawn johnson. and you can see all of her bones and omg is so scary and sad and i don't know what to do. I haven't seen her in like 2 years and i haven't talked to her in like a year but i have known her for 9 years now but im not close to her but i don't want anything to happen to her and i dont want to call her out if nothing is going on but she is just wayyyy to skinny for anyone!!! any advice..someone anyone..please help me help my friend

 

[gracefulone]

Is there anyone you know who is close to her that you would feel more comfortable talking to? If people continue to ignore the problem, she could die from this. It's a troubling reality. We were posed a similar problem last Saturday night-at my college campus there was someone way too drunk. People around me were hesitant to call security, but for me it was a no-brainer. I was informed by hospital officials that if that call wouldn't have been made, he would have died from severe alcohol poisoning. I don't know how I would have lived with myself if I had seen this problem and not done anything about it.

Lesson: it is something that should be addressed if you're concerned. I wouldn't call her out on facebook itself because she will probably get very defensive and close herself off to you. I have studied a lot on anorexia-because it's always been something that has struck me. Like I said, your best option would be talk to someone who is currently close to her and see what's up. If that's not an option, I would encourage contacting her parents if possible...it would be best to set up a face-to-face meeting with them. If that won't work, I can help you brainstorm alternative plans. I don't know about you, but once I see something terminally wrong, I feel it's less of a right than a responsibility to do what I can. The book Wintergirls shows what can happen when girls who need help don't get it. It's really really sad.

 

[ky7403]

i dont really know any of her friends...she was a navy kid so she moved all the time and last time she and i lived near each other was 8 years ago but we have kept in touch but i dont know anyone that i could talk to about it.

 

[gracefulone]

Is there anyway you'd be able to find some contact information for her parents. An email or phone call to let them know you're worried would probably be appreciated.

 

[Linsul]

As one of the naturally scrawny people of the world, I feel compelled to say maybe you should befriend her again before launching into a weight discussion. It's no womans favorite topic; and there are so many medical reasons to be over-underweight that you should probably fact find from her first.

I'm very anemic and have no shortage of strangers come up and tell me how skinny I am. They don't know that I eat very (very!) well, or see that I have no trouble lifting people, construction materials, or stuffed costco grocery boxes. I've said some pretty choice things to randoms that comment on my weight despite being ignorant. Be prepared for that if you ask her or swoop in to save her without getting to know what her situation is! She may not feel compelled to explain herself to someone she's lost touch with, and if she chooses not to that doesn't mean that her family and close friends aren't in the know.

 

[ky7403]

very good point linsul...i have a friend who is a model and is super super skinny and eats extremely well but she has always been that way. i know this situation is very delicate and that is why i am asking for help on how to deal with it. i would never accuse her of anything or assume anything that may not be true.