Parents I think I need a little therapy......

[gymmom14]

I don't know why I am feeling this way.... but here it goes. My dd is a L8, 13 yo, 8th grader, trains 22 hrs a week. We have a big decision on what high school to attend next year. Stay public or go to private. Private has a ton of homework, but is an excellent school, also very expensive or stay publlic- still good, not a lot of homework etc.

OK, here's my problem. Lately I have been wondering if she shouldn't quit gym and be a normal high schooler. Be involved in cheer or the play or whatever she chooses. Is she going to miss the high school experience if she stays in gym? The chance of any of our kids doing gym in college is so small, I just hope we don't look back and say we made a mistake by letting her do this. Will she get hurt or lose interest in gym before she even graduates high school? Are her friendships at school suffer since she doesn't have time to socialize?

As you can see, I have been overanalyzing this. Let me add, she loves gym. Is doing pretty good at L8 (8's on everything), is struggling with her connection on beam, but overall progressing nicely. She loves her gym friends and has no plans of quitting. I would never make her quit gymnastics. But should I be encouraging her to get involved in other things and see if it sparks an interest?

Help! Anyone have any insight?

 

[cadybearsmommy]

Honestly, if she is happy right now, I would just sit back and go with it. Once she starts high school, if she starts to show interest in other actitivies, you can always let her know that you will support her no matter what she decides to do. Whether she wants to continue gymnastics in high school or quit and try something else. You never know, she could end up doing gymnastics in college!

Most high schoolers are pretty opinionated, if she is getting burned out on gym by then and wants to try something new, I think she will let you know. Just keep the lines of communication open.

Best of luck to both of you!

 

[lhmom]

I agree with Nicole. The girls in our gym who left decided on their own that they wanted a more "normal" life. Maybe see how she's feeling after some time in high school and also let her know that you support her in whatever she wants to do. Good luck!

 

[AlexsGymmyMom]

I think to stay or quit is ultimately the gymnasts decision. You would not want her to have regrets later in her life or ask herself "what if"

 

[MaryA]

Wow... the public school vs private school issue is a tough one. And I think, unlike the gymnstics issue, that this ultimately needs to be your choice. Next year we're sending our girls to a charter school. It runs 5th-8th grade which means that the girls won't get to finish out elementary school with their classmates, but ultimately I feel like they're going to have a better experience (with middle school, at least) at the charter school, so we're not giving them the choice. You just have to weigh the cost and the impact that cost will have on your family, figure out if your DD is being challenged or getting bored in the public school, how she's going to deal with the additional homework, social considerations, etc. Make sure you visit the private school. I taught at a private school that went K-8, but at the upper grades there were only a few kids per grade and I think, even though the academics and individual attention were great, socially it was really hard for kids at that age to interact with ONLY the same handful of kids day in and day out. I think they need to have a larger social circle.

As for gymnastics, as long as she loves it, continue to be supportive of her. If she decides that she wants to quit and be a "normal" high school student, you can be supportive of that too. I think it's O.K. if she misses the occasional practice to go to dances or birthday parties or whatever too.

Good luck with these difficult decisions. And keep coming back to CB... we're cheaper than therapy!

 

[Gymdad2]

I don't think you are over-analyzing the question.
I think this is something you should discuss with your dd. There is a lot to consider on both sides of the issue, and you should help her see the whole picture and make her decision. You should also find out if either of the schools you are considering has a gymnastics team. This can be a nice solution that lets her continue with gym on a less demanding level and still be part of her school.

 

[AGM78910]

She can do both. Don't know what area of the country you are in but our state (Texas) allows for off campus PE in the middle schools (grades 5-8) and high schools. The gymnasts don't have to take PE in school and they get credit for gymnastics as their PE. They can get out of school 1-2 hours early and can even do 2-a-day practices depending on the program. My DD is now in high school and has been in competitive gymnastics since age 6. She trains 25 hours a week, and gets to participate in all the high school activities such as dances, football games, and parties. Most of the girls on her team go to the public schools which are very good. I believe that if she were home schooled or in a limited hours school program she would have quit gymnastics long ago because she really loves the school and the extracurricular activities. And there is very little gym burnout among the gymnasts that go to public schools. Plus the home school and limited hours school programs don't offer the hard sciences such as chemistry, physics, and biology labs that the high school does.

 

[bpatient]

I empathize. My dd is in eighth grade this year—and I also tend to overanalyze the gym vs. academics question.

Of course you and your daughter will have to consider her long-term goals, which may be properly amorphous at her age. As you noted, the chance of achieving a gymnastics scholarship is not great, and “8s on everythingâ€￾ at level 8 as an eighth grader isn’t necessarily a fast track to a full ride, so keeping her in the gym just to chase a scholarship might not be the best of all possible choices. People value different levels of academic success in high school, so there’s a choice to be made there, too. (Just as earning a gymnastics scholarship requires talent, effort, and a time commitment that is beyond most gymnasts, admission to an elite school requires similarly extreme academic effort; for example, just being an "A student" isn’t going to impress many admissions officers these days: 40% of the kids in the large local high school have at least a 4.0 GPA, while 91% of the kids admitted to Stanford last fall had GPAs of 4.75 or higher, and thus must have carried essentially the heaviest possible load of demanding, college-level Advanced Placement courses while in high school.) Fortunately, it’s quite clear that children can somehow grow up to lead happy and productive lives even if they never managed to scrape up a placement at Nationals or didn't graduate from a top-tier university, so the major issue that you and I are both facing is finding a way to help our daughters to balance the demands of an enjoyable, hopefully healthy activity with the demands of academics and other enjoyable (and also hopefully healthy) activities.

Not so bad.

My child trains fewer hours than yours does; that's enough to to allow her to learn to fly at her gym while keeping up with increasingly demanding homework requirements, but not enough to make her a standout in her second year at Level 9 (although it may be her genetic background—with me as her father—rather than the training time that limits her performance.) She currently plans to do four years at Level 10 and then probably move on without competing in college, but if even her restricted training hours prove too demanding, I think that she’ll stop competing but keep training on a school-friendly schedule. (Kids here are not released early from school for club sports, and gymnasts are still required to take PE and a regular, full schedule.) There’s a clear precedent for that at her gym, where some older high school kids who love gymnastics but who have had to choose to prioritize their education continue to develop their skills by training with the team in the time that they have available, although they stopped competing years ago. That’s a nice option, which would allow dd to maintain her gym friendships, stay fit, and have fun. Gymnastics has been good for her and a good experience for our family, and I hope that she'll be able to find a way to continue in the sport for as long as she desires.

As far as missing out on the high school experience: really, I wouldn’t have minded missing out! Dunno had a good post on the student-athlete issue in this thread, which also included other insightful comments regarding gymnasts of your daughter’s approximate age:

Link Removed

 

[flipper's fan]

Let it go. Trust your dd to choose whether she wants a normal high school experience or the gymnastics route. I'm sure you've done an excellent job preparing her for the future and only she will know what she wants to do and when. If you encourage or push her in one direction or the other, you will be just as bothered by the what ifs as you are now.

 

[gym law mom]

You've got 1 big decision on which school to send her to. Don't try and throw the what ifs for gym in on top of it. You'll drive yourself nuts. I can tell you 9th grade can be a roller coaster. They have more freedom in school, but school can be demanding. Mine goes to a public school, but is taking mainly honors classes which means more work.

See how next year goes. As someone else said at this age they will usually not hold back on letting you know how they feel.

 

[Tumblequeensmom]

As everyone else has stated, focus on the high school decision!!! Gymnastics will fall into place. She will let you know what she wants to do, I wouldn't worry over that one at all!! Also, at this age, it's hard to plan too far ahead re: gymnastics....we just take it one month at a time!

 

[BRB]

I don't think you are overanalyzing things. These are all valid questions, and I think many of us here have the same questions/thoughts. I agree with those that say, if she is still interested in gymnastics, let her take the lead regarding how involved she wants to be in high school. She may not feel she is "missing out" if she chooses to miss certain school events for gymnastics. Regarding the decision about what school to chose, I would weigh that decision independent of gymnastics to a point and do what you feel is best for her.
Good luck!