Parents Is it normal for older boys on team to pick on younger teammates?

[sharpscorps]

Hi coaches & parents,

I’m looking for some perspective, especially from those with boys in team programs.

My boy (7) moved up about a year ago into a group with boys aged roughly 7–9. Since then, a couple of the older boys (8–9) have been teasing him quite a bit and sometimes exposing him to things that feel inappropriate for his age (language, explicit topics, etc.).

This has been ongoing, and there have been some times he’s come out of practice crying or come home upset.

I’ve spoken to the coach, who acknowledged it and said they’d keep an eye on things. There was some improvement at first, but the behaviour seems to come back.

I understand some teasing can happen with mixed ages, but I’m trying to understand where the line is between normal and something that needs more direct intervention.

For those with experience:
- Is this typical in boys’ team environments?
- Does it usually settle over time?
- If it’s recurring even after speaking to a coach, how would you handle next steps?

Gymnastics is supposed to be fun so just looking for some extra opinions.

 

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Hi coaches & parents,

I’m looking for some perspective, especially from those with boys in team programs.

My boy (7) moved up about a year ago into a group with boys aged roughly 7–9. Since then, a couple of the older boys (8–9) have been teasing him quite a bit and sometimes exposing him to things that feel inappropriate for his age (language, explicit topics, etc.).

This has been ongoing, and there have been some times he’s come out of practice crying or come home upset.

I’ve spoken to the coach, who acknowledged it and said they’d keep an eye on things. There was some improvement at first, but the behaviour seems to come back.

I understand some teasing can happen with mixed ages, but I’m trying to understand where the line is between normal and something that needs more direct intervention.

For those with experience:
- Is this typical in boys’ team environments?
- Does it usually settle over time?
- If it’s recurring even after speaking to a coach, how would you handle next steps?

Gymnastics is supposed to be fun so just looking for some extra opinions.

A certain amount of good-natured teasing is typical between guys (and this holds for any ages; my brother and I are both in our 30's, and we still trash-talk each other quite a bit during our weekly gaming sessions). Often, this is how guys bond with each other.

But there's a difference between friendly trash-talk and and the sort of teasing that is genuinely offensive; if your kid is coming home crying, then it's the latter.

I wish I had useful advice on how to handle it; unfortunately, even if the coach knows it's happening, it can be really hard to effectively manage those sorts of social dynamics. Follow up with the coach again, maybe ask that they be separated when possible.