Parents newbie here, need some advice from other parents

[colleen88]

Hi everyone,

My daughter started with a club in July on their non-compete prep op team. (Basically a prep op preteam) She is 9 and I know this is late to start in the gymnastics world, but we were both excited that she still has options in the prep op program. Her year so far has had its ups and downs. I feel like her training hasn't been very consistent. She broke her wrist in July doing a standing bridge, and while she was back in the gym 2 days later, she still is afraid to do them now. I feel that this is something that should have been addressed by her coach and not avoided. Since July, her coach has only made her try them maybe once a month if that.

Also, there is another girl on my daughter's team that is always acting up, goofing around, and not listening to the coach. So often to the point that my daughter is worried about going to practice because she doesn't know if this girl is going to behave or not. My daughter does not get involved, her coach has assured me she always listens, and never acts up. Am I wrong to believe that if the girls are working, they should be paying attention? This girl also cheats her way through conditioning, when they are supposed to be doing sit ups, she has one arm down just to get through faster (she is perfectly capable of doing them) There are maybe 4 kids including my daughter that hope to move to a competitive team. The coach has tried incentives for the kids to get them motivated. This girl's response was "so, I don't care" She doesn't listen. At snack time, she takes her soda can, shakes them and opens them up and laughs when they explode all over everyone. When the coach tells them to finish up, she's just opening her snack and everyone waits and extra 15 minutes for her.

There are 2 girls on the team that my daughter is friends with, and she loves going to see her friends, but dreads going because of this girl. I have complained to the gym 3 times now, and nothing gets done. I want to look into other gyms for my daughter, but she doesn't want to leave those 2 friends. But, I feel that I am paying 180.00 ever 4 weeks for her to learn gymnastics, not for her to just go and see these 2 girls and worry about this other girl causing trouble.

What would you do?

 

[MeetDirector]

First off, welcome to chalkbucket and to the crazy world of gymnastics.

Next, you have got to get your dd to flat out ignore the trouble maker and focus only on her own training. Rest assured that the coaches are well-aware of the cheating and have most lilkely chosen to ignore it since it only effects that girl and it will show itself in skills. The best way for a trouble-maker to be handled is if everyone ignores and moves on. When the coach is ready to begin and the trouble-maker is not, the rest should begin and tell the coach that they are ready; too bad if the trouble-maker is not. This is a power thing and the trouble-maker is trying to control everyone; the group needs to not allow that to happen.

Good Luck.

 

[colleen88]

thank you!

 

[EmmasMommy]

Sounds like there is more than one concern.

First, your daughter needs to ignore the trouble maker. When my daughter has trouble with another girl, I always just tell her, "Are you here for her or here for gymnastics?" and she says for gymnastics (of course) and I tell her, "then you don't need to worry about her."

Second, and this is out of your daughter's control, the coach needs to start when they start, not wait for the girl.

Third, if this trouble maker is cheating during conditioning, she's really just cheating herself. It'll catch up with her eventually.

Finally, I have to go back to your daughter breaking her wrist doing a standing bridge. If my daughter broke her wrist on a move like that, I'd have other concerns, such as whether her body is ready for the skills they are working on. Injuries happen in gymnastics, but I'm having a hard time picturing what could happen during a standing bridge that could cause a bone to break. Maybe the coaches realize her body isn't ready for that skill and are focusing more on building her up to that before having her try again. Training SHOULD be fairly consistent though. Kids usually won't learn skills if they only work on them once a month or don't do the conditioning and drills leading up to the skill that are necessary to learning it.

 

[colleen88]

thanks for the advice

 

[cbifoja]

Hi everyone,

My daughter started with a club in July on their non-compete prep op team. (Basically a prep op preteam) She is 9 and I know this is late to start in the gymnastics world, but we were both excited that she still has options in the prep op program. Her year so far has had its ups and downs. I feel like her training hasn't been very consistent. She broke her wrist in July doing a standing bridge, and while she was back in the gym 2 days later, she still is afraid to do them now. I feel that this is something that should have been addressed by her coach and not avoided. Since July, her coach has only made her try them maybe once a month if that.

I wouldn't interfere with the coaching process unless your child is being mistreated, verbally abused, or in a situation that she can't handle herself. It is odd that she broke her wrist on such a skill but I know a girl broke her wrists years ago doing a simple handstand/blocking skill on the tumble trak. So yeah, weird things can happen that you'd never expect.

Also, there is another girl on my daughter's team that is always acting up, goofing around, and not listening to the coach. So often to the point that my daughter is worried about going to practice because she doesn't know if this girl is going to behave or not. My daughter does not get involved, her coach has assured me she always listens, and never acts up. Am I wrong to believe that if the girls are working, they should be paying attention? This girl also cheats her way through conditioning, when they are supposed to be doing sit ups, she has one arm down just to get through faster (she is perfectly capable of doing them) There are maybe 4 kids including my daughter that hope to move to a competitive team. The coach has tried incentives for the kids to get them motivated. This girl's response was "so, I don't care" She doesn't listen. At snack time, she takes her soda can, shakes them and opens them up and laughs when they explode all over everyone. When the coach tells them to finish up, she's just opening her snack and everyone waits and extra 15 minutes for her.

You don't say how old this other girl is but even as the parent of an immature, strong-willed challenging gymnast, this behavior doesn't sound acceptable. First of all the fact that she is even allowed to drink soda at the gym is mind blowing to me. And quite honestly, the very next time it happens, I would immediately go to the coach and demand she address the situation and if she doesn't, you go to the head coach and if she doesn't, you go to the owner. If after all of that, this child is still being allowed to splash kids with soda, I'd find another gym because if they won't protect your child from such unreasonable behavior, how can you trust them to protect her from real dangers in the gym?

And making the group wait for a slow poke? No. Break goes for a certain time. When break is over, you go to the gym and that's that. If the slow poke isn't finished, the coach then needs to make a decision: either slow poke foregoes snack or slow poke finishes snack alone and then joins the group. But no, you will NOT waste my money because of a child who does't seem to be very interested. Again, this kind of behavior isn't allowed in our gym and my daughter has had to go without snack a few times because she was goofing around and didn't get to eat. Oh well. She now knows (and again, she is immature for her age), that snack time is 3-5 minutes and that's it. No extra time for goofing off.

There are 2 girls on the team that my daughter is friends with, and she loves going to see her friends, but dreads going because of this girl. I have complained to the gym 3 times now, and nothing gets done. I want to look into other gyms for my daughter, but she doesn't want to leave those 2 friends. But, I feel that I am paying 180.00 ever 4 weeks for her to learn gymnastics, not for her to just go and see these 2 girls and worry about this other girl causing trouble.

What would you do?

Do NOT make decisions based on current training mates. Teammates come and go for about sixteen thousand different reasons. My child isn't even on the same team with ANYBODY she was in pre-team with. A couple are on some lower levels and several have left the gym. Last year, she was besties with two girls, one an L3 with her and one an L4. This year, they are both L4s and she moved to L5 so yet again, not on the same team with all of them. There is simply too much gymnast turnover to make important decisions based on something as ephemeral as who is in what training groups.

 

[flgymmom]

Welcome !

My DD is your DDs age also... she started with our team last summer.

Our gyms ideas are that if the child wants to "pick their nose and play slap and tickle they need to find another gym" lol I personally would say something to the owner of our gym about the child's behavior because it sounds like it is effecting the rest of what is going on in the gym.

Someone else commented, but I will too... I'm surprised about the soda... our coaches try to get the kids to bring heathly type drinks and snacks but hey what can you do.

I would have a big problem with the child wasting my child's valuable gym time.

As for the issue with the injury and the training, have you talked the coach/es and discussed the issue... Id be curious to see their reasoning. Maybe they are working it easy to allow heal time ???

 

[Deleted member D3987]

what was the response from the coach/club owner?