Parents Note to gym owner

[Deleted member 10727]

PSA: If you have a business that caters to kids and a parent comes to talk to you with concerns about safety and good training, it's probably not a good idea to tell the parent she is being over-protective and she needs to loosen the apron strings, for starters. Also, if the child is quite young and still developing, it doesn't give them super powers to avoid injury just because they are training to have "super powers". And one last thing, just because an assistant coach is a nice guy, it doesn't make him a good coach, especially when he is immature, unfocused, and totally inappropriate. If you do any of these things, then people are going to assume you are bat-**** crazy and you have lost touch with what's important.

 

[iwannacoach]

Now that's a pretty good rant! Probably a very well targeted rant at a worthy recipient, because I couldn't imagine telling a parent all that stuff. Well not usually anyway.

I wouldn't mind sharing a few of my thoughts about over protection and loosening the apron strings if I felt a parent might benifet from spending a moment looking in the mirror to do, well kind of a double check of sorts. I've had people tell me things that I thought were out of line, that seemed insulting and presumptuous, only to arrive a day or week later at the conclusion that they had a valid point and had gone out on a limb to do me a favor.

I'm not saying the coach was right, and leave plenty of room for your position to be valid, but with a rant as steamy as that I feel there are only two possibilities....... The coach is way out of line or there's a message you may want to ponder.

I don't know your definition of inappropriate, but if you're talking about something beyond normal chatter that need not take place, that threatens your child, tell the owner/head coach, who isn't the bat**** you referenced earlier, that you're leaving and why. I hope it all works out one way or the other.

 

[2G1B]

I guess I should preface this with I LOVE our HC and really feel that no matter what I told him, even if it was me being over protective, that he would be diplomatic with his response.

Sounds like your meeting with the HC didn't go too well. I've read your other posts about you concerns over your boys' main coach being fired and the asst. coach stepping up. If I were you I'd sit down and tall to your husband, make sure that you aren't overreacting, and then likely look for other gyms. I'd try to find out more on why the other coach was fired before I'd follow him to another gym; but if you liked him, that would be my inclination. Maybe he was hard to work with; or maybe he had issues with the HC and the HC spoke to him even worse than he spoke to you (since after all, YOU are paying the gym for a service and the gym was paying him for a service. So if they are going to talk this way to someone paying them, imagine how they talk to people who they are paying and who they disagree with).

I find it just completely inappropriate for the HC to speak to you that way unless you guys are close enough that he knew his opinion would not be taken rudely. Clearly that is NOT the case, so he should act as a professional. We have some coaches who might say something similar to a parent; but I just honestly can not imagine our HC ever being like that with a parent.

 

[profmom]

I wonder if it might help to get together with the other parents who have sons in the same level and see if your concerns are shared. While our boys' coach is not with them every single second (sometimes he has to go check on the availability of other space or check in with the head coach about this and that), if they are learning new skills or running through a new drill, he watches them like a hawk. To me, it looks safe and OK -- the only significant injury we've had was one of those freak things that happened with the coach right there, and I've seen him stop more than one potentially scary parallel bars crash in progress. But other parents might see the same practice I see and not feel OK if they see him talking to the HC or in another part of the gym when the guys are doing drills.

It's one thing to have a single parent objecting to a coach's lack of attentiveness, but if several parents confirm to the owner that the coach is yakking on a cell phone and distracted while coaching, the owner may start thinking about liability. It may be that the coach just needs some mentoring or direction, especially if he's young and inexperienced.

 

[Deleted member D3987]

bwahahahahahahaha, that was a great post GymBoyzmom!

 

[Deleted member 10727]

Every single parent has the same concerns I do. I was told by the gym owner that if they come talk to the owner (which she invites them to do) and she hears I've talked to other parents, that it was really ME causing trouble. I was accused of not wanting any other coach to work with my boys except the head coach and how damaging that is to my sons. That is totally false, because the boys have worked with many coaches and I have never had concerns except with this one coach.

I was warned by other more seasoned parents to expect the reaction I got from the gym owner. They said she would try to make it my fault somehow, and that's exactly what she attempted to do. She *did* agree to have a meeting with the coaches and go over some ground rules about behavior, even though she doesn't see cause for concern. One example is violently pretending to headbutt 7-9 year olds and just stopping short of contact. If a child happened to bend over at that very moment... OMG. Or placing a small 6 year old on a high bar with 13 year olds *at the same time* with no spotting for drills in which the bar shakes and the 6 year old is trying to hang on, I'm told he is a gymnast and strong and he wouldn't fall. Excuse me? He is still only 6 and like 1/3 the weight of the other 2 boys! Insane responses that I am too over-protective will not bode well.

The head coach is awesome and I trust him with my boys 100%. I wish he was the owner, but alas...

 

[2G1B]

ah. Didn't realize there was a difference at your gym between HC and the "boss". At both gyms we have been at the HC = "the boss".

I really think it is time for you to look at a different gym. I wouldn't want to be giving my money to someone who dismisses me like that. I'm a business owner and I can't imagine EVER treating my clients like that no matter how wrong I thought they were.

And even the little kids can get hurt. My son broke his finger last year when he slid off of the mushroom. No idea WHY he slid off of it; but he did. It just happened. As things tend to do. This year he got a stress fracture in his ankle. (both of these happened with coaching that I have complete confidence in.) Little kids can get hurt too.

 

[Deleted member 10727]

Yeah, accidents happen, but I would rather not invite them. I am in talks with the HC about the situation. He *really* needs to open his own gym, but he is youngish and needs to find the capital eventually. I am waiting to see what happens at this gym. Sometimes a biz owner can be crazy, but then still makes changes happen once they've had a chance to let things sink in. We're on the verge, though.

The asst coach I'm concerned about is in his mid-thirties, btw. I don't see him growing out of this.

 

[profmom]

Oy! Based on how you'd described him, I thought he was maybe 18 or 20! Yeah, based on what you've now said, I think if HC can't exert some control, unfortunately you are going to have to move. The more seasoned parents' warning about the owner's reaction would be at least a yellow, if not a red, flag for me.