Parents Out of the blue, dd says she want to quit.

[gymmomtotwo]

Dd, who just turned 7, is training new level 4 on our club's training team. She takes ice skating lessons once a week for fun. I really wanted her just learn how to skate, but she has progressed rapidly through the levels. We live in a northern state where kids skate shortly after they walk. So, dd got moved up a group in gymnastics, while the group she started with stayed behind. That group is training to do some fun level 3 meets this year. I was worried about how it would go without any of he r friends, but she seemed to adjust. She ran into a couple of the kids from the old group awhile ago. She was so excited to see them, but the meeting was very awkward. Four out of the 6 of them turned down her birthday party invitation. I rarely see the moms, but I know they weren't happy that their kids didn't move up. In a nutshell, I think maybe everything she loved about gymnastics is gone. Close friends, a favorite coach that left. She says it is no longer fun, and she wants to join the ice skating club. It's not an unreasonable request. She is quite good at it. But I don't know whether this is for real or not. She has been with this group all summer, but the next youngest kid is more than a year older. I told her she needed to finish the summer (two more weeks), and we would talk about it again. I have nothing against figure skating. I'm mostly worried about her making a mistake she will regret later. Any words of wisdom? I can't sleep worrying about what the right thing is. She's on track to do some fun level 4 meets in the spring for experience. She isn't ready for the fall compulsory season. Do I let her quit and throw herself into skating? She's barely seven. She seemed to love it and, and this change of heart seems very abrupt.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Sorry for he double post.

 

[wallinbl]

Try to encourage her to give it a few weeks or a month. Long enough to see if it's just not liking the change, but not so long that it's miserable for her.

With my non-gym DD, we told her she had made a commitment (club soccer) and that she needed to complete the commitment (she had 3 months left on the year long commitment). She did, and then opted not to continue after that. While we wanted to teach her to follow through and honor commitments, I think she's now a little gun shy on anything she perceives as possibly having a commitment. Perhaps a little bit of a backfire for us there.

 

[gymgal]

if she had been with this new group all summer and she is wanting to quit, I would let her, after the 2 weeks you told her she needed to complete. It doesn't really matter how talented she is, if she doesn't enjoy it, she won't get much from it. Maybe being away from gym for a while will prompt her to want to go back. And if nog, then she moves on to something she likes better.

 

[gymmomof1]

Its a tough call but I agree with gymgal to let her pursue ice skating then she can see how much she does or does not miss gymnastics. Or at the end of 2weeks she may not want to quit lol she is only 7 and can change her mind. Best wishes on which ever way it goes.

 

[luvmygymdtr]

Have you considered asking if she could go back with her old group? I've watched a girl struggle socially in our gym because she was moved out of a group of her friends to work out with girls 4 years older than her because she was talented. Looks like to me the coaches took the fun out of the sport for her. And now she doesn't put forth the same effort. The sport needs to be fun first....

 

[raenndrops]

I agree with luv, see if she could go back down to her old group. If that is an option, see if it helps. My younger gymmie CHOSE to NOT move up to new level 4 this season, even though she competed the last 2 years at old level 4. She will be 9 at the end of October. If she had moved up, she would be wanting to quit by now. Level 4 is challenging, especially for younger gymnasts... and losing her friends in the process, especially at that age, is rough!

 

[Deleted member 14190]

She is 7? She is very young and should not be able to make any of these decisions, In other words don't let her. Example, What if she decides to not go to school, Sound preposterous , I know. But relative. Just keep dropping her off.

 

[MaryA]

I don't know why a 7-year-old shouldn't have a say in what she does in her free time. Certainly, each family has un-negotiables. School, of some sort, for sure. For some families, church. Apparently, for coachp, gymnastics is an un-negotiable, but it wouldn't have been for me when my DD was a 7-year-old level 3. A 12-year-old optional who is making noises about quitting, yes, I'd worry that they may regret it and would make good and sure they have good reasons. A 7-year-old level 3 who wants to try ice skating more seriously? Why not? If she drops back down to the gym level that her other friends are in, would she also have time to try ice skating club? That might be a win-win. Trying something new may make her realize that gymnastics is her "thing." Or it may make her realize that it isn't. Neither is a bad outcome.

 

[gymgal]

She is 7? She is very young and should not be able to make any of these decisions, In other words don't let her.

because competitive gymnastics is a very expensive sport and if she is not enjoying it, why pour money into it month after month? Any parent who forces their child to participate in a SPORT that she don't want to ne involved in is attempting to live vicariously through their child..... There is a huge difference between something that is mandatory (school) and something that is optional. And even with school, there are options available. Private, charter, homeschooling... You help your child choose what will fit her best. And yes, even at 7 she should have input.

This is a child who has been in the new group for the summer, it is not an on the spot reaction to being moved up. She wants to try another sport in which she is also good at. She is 7. This is the time for her to tty lots of sports to find the one she likes best.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

The title says, OUT OF THE BLUE. And my reply is to the op, not intended to ruffle the feathers of any parent who support a 7 year olds decision to do what they want, whenever they want even if it's OUT OF THE BLUE.

 

[gym law mom]

See if she can express why she would prefer figure skating over gymnastics. Since she wants to pursue another sport, it does not seem entirely about missing friends from her old training group.

 

[gymmomtotwo]

Thanks to all who answered my question. The whole thing was a result of the teacher handing out a brochure for the Junior Figure Skating Club. She asked me if she could do it, and I said no not with how busy you are with gymnastics. So far skating has been a weekly half hour lesson. Well her reaction was one of well if I'm too busy with gymnastics, I should quit that so I can do the Club. And oh by the way, it's not that fun anymore without my friends, and we just do the same things over and over again. Apparently, skating club is an hour a week commitment, and just is an extra advanced lesson. It's not a full club membership, so there is no competing involved. So she agreed to drop her dance class in favor of this extra hour of skating. She went happily to gymnastics the last two days. She may decide in the future to change to figure skating (and we are keeping the door open with the extra classes), but for now she is on board with the gymnastics. I really just want her to have the opportunity to compete before she drops it. It's a long road to competing, and this is the first year they have had kids compete old4/new 3, so she missed out on that. They definitely feel she belongs in the group she is in. She's pretty far ahead of the other girls at this point, so I don't think they'd agree to it. Once she got a yes on the Junior Club, she's good to go. It buys some time to figure out what she really wants. Thanks to all.