- Jan 9, 2011
- 142
- 133
I feel like I've started a lot of threads for a newbie, but I have a question that I was hoping some of you parents could relate to.
DD is 7. She has been in gymnastics for 3 years - she started at age 4. She did 1 year tots, 1 year developmental, 6 months "mighty mites" and now 6 months of "Level 3" preteam (her gym doesn't compete 3s). The girls on her "team" are aged (JUST turned) 5 through 7.5.
I've posted before about her coach. She's very stern, not a lot of smiles, and of course, corrects my DD a LOT. Now, a lot of the girls are much younger and are, as a rule, not really corrected. I naturally assume that this has to do with age and expectations. I do have to say, my DD seems to "get" the corrections on the floor, and really cleans up well when she implements them. But, she seems to have instilled upon herself that she just isn't a good gymnast because she's always being corrected, and the other girls aren't. She doesn't understand, at age 7, why 5 year old "Susie" gets complemented when her toes weren't pointed and then fell off the beam, and why DD gets corrected because her arms weren't quite positioned right while walking across the beam. As much as I try to explain some of this, hearing it from me isn't enough for DD - she thought/thinks her coach thinks she "sucks".
We nearly switched gyms two months ago - she was offered a spot at a neighboring gym competing L3 in the fall. After discussing for some time the pros and cons with my DH (pull DD vs. move her), another girl was pulled from DD's current team for similar reasons. DD's coach seemed to have some sort of wake-up call and her demeanor changed dramatically. DD was happy, no longer nervous for practices and seemed to enjoy going, and most importantly, she did not want to switch gyms. Coach was actually complementing DD a bit. Plus, she LOVES her teammates dearly and the gym is like home to her.
So, we signed on through December, at which time she's supposed to "try out" for L4, and upon making it, we'd reup again. I told DD when we signed the contract (the first actual contract started this June), that it was a done deal, we were staying. She seemed very excited when I turned it in. Today, out of "nowhere" she bursts out crying that she can't take "Beth" anymore (name changed) as a coach, and that she just wants to quit. DD hasn't even been in the gym since last Tuesday. Apparently, coach is reverting a bit back to her old ways.
Two hours later, she tells me she doesn't want to quit. An hour later, she says actually, she DOES want to quit. Shortly after that, she was running around in her leotard and asking for help to do some pullups.
After the wavering I asked her to give it some time (through the end of the month) before deciding. I said we could even take a week off for "vacation" so she can think about it and see if she misses it. We also told her we'd support whatever her decision ultimately was, but we needed to know she was sure before pulling. At our gym, if you pull out of team at this age, you're pretty much done for. I also want to consider that the increase in gym hours could be impacting her right now, as is her schedule in general. She goes from 2-4 on Mondays and is back in again from 9-11 on Tuesdays. That's a LOT for a little tyke, and a small part of why we nearly switched gyms. That's a lot of conditioning and corrections in a small amont of time.
As a parent, I am at a loss of what to do. She's only 7, so it's so sad. I personally see that she loves it but she hurts some, too. Do I pull her (even after signing an agreement)? Do I attempt a gym switch? Do I put her back in rec? Do I pull her altogether? This is the first time I've been at such a loss. We'd already signed her up for the "fun" rec camp at our gym later this month, and today decided to begin going to open gyms for more "fun" gym time for her.
She'll have her current coach til December, and then she's also in charge of the 4s, though she isn't always "there" for that. My personal preference would be to either switch now (which will also screw up necessary carpools which other working families do rely on some - I know it's not about that, but I'd still feel terrible), or stick it out a bit and switch in December, when our 'contract' is up.
I am not even sure she could have that previously offered spot on the other team at this point (that started at the end of june), and that also conflicted with summer school a LOT, but we could just put her in whatever at this point. I don't think there is any chance, right now anyway, that we'd let DD stay at our current gym much past the end of the contract. I can't handle the drama right now between DD and the coach.
My burning question also: is this just the nature of competitive gymnastics?
And the sad part, this is only the most important gripe I have with the gym at the moment. I just don't want to alienate you all with the whole mess of it. Sigh.
Thanks for the vent and any advice you may have.
DD is 7. She has been in gymnastics for 3 years - she started at age 4. She did 1 year tots, 1 year developmental, 6 months "mighty mites" and now 6 months of "Level 3" preteam (her gym doesn't compete 3s). The girls on her "team" are aged (JUST turned) 5 through 7.5.
I've posted before about her coach. She's very stern, not a lot of smiles, and of course, corrects my DD a LOT. Now, a lot of the girls are much younger and are, as a rule, not really corrected. I naturally assume that this has to do with age and expectations. I do have to say, my DD seems to "get" the corrections on the floor, and really cleans up well when she implements them. But, she seems to have instilled upon herself that she just isn't a good gymnast because she's always being corrected, and the other girls aren't. She doesn't understand, at age 7, why 5 year old "Susie" gets complemented when her toes weren't pointed and then fell off the beam, and why DD gets corrected because her arms weren't quite positioned right while walking across the beam. As much as I try to explain some of this, hearing it from me isn't enough for DD - she thought/thinks her coach thinks she "sucks".
We nearly switched gyms two months ago - she was offered a spot at a neighboring gym competing L3 in the fall. After discussing for some time the pros and cons with my DH (pull DD vs. move her), another girl was pulled from DD's current team for similar reasons. DD's coach seemed to have some sort of wake-up call and her demeanor changed dramatically. DD was happy, no longer nervous for practices and seemed to enjoy going, and most importantly, she did not want to switch gyms. Coach was actually complementing DD a bit. Plus, she LOVES her teammates dearly and the gym is like home to her.
So, we signed on through December, at which time she's supposed to "try out" for L4, and upon making it, we'd reup again. I told DD when we signed the contract (the first actual contract started this June), that it was a done deal, we were staying. She seemed very excited when I turned it in. Today, out of "nowhere" she bursts out crying that she can't take "Beth" anymore (name changed) as a coach, and that she just wants to quit. DD hasn't even been in the gym since last Tuesday. Apparently, coach is reverting a bit back to her old ways.
Two hours later, she tells me she doesn't want to quit. An hour later, she says actually, she DOES want to quit. Shortly after that, she was running around in her leotard and asking for help to do some pullups.
After the wavering I asked her to give it some time (through the end of the month) before deciding. I said we could even take a week off for "vacation" so she can think about it and see if she misses it. We also told her we'd support whatever her decision ultimately was, but we needed to know she was sure before pulling. At our gym, if you pull out of team at this age, you're pretty much done for. I also want to consider that the increase in gym hours could be impacting her right now, as is her schedule in general. She goes from 2-4 on Mondays and is back in again from 9-11 on Tuesdays. That's a LOT for a little tyke, and a small part of why we nearly switched gyms. That's a lot of conditioning and corrections in a small amont of time.
As a parent, I am at a loss of what to do. She's only 7, so it's so sad. I personally see that she loves it but she hurts some, too. Do I pull her (even after signing an agreement)? Do I attempt a gym switch? Do I put her back in rec? Do I pull her altogether? This is the first time I've been at such a loss. We'd already signed her up for the "fun" rec camp at our gym later this month, and today decided to begin going to open gyms for more "fun" gym time for her.
She'll have her current coach til December, and then she's also in charge of the 4s, though she isn't always "there" for that. My personal preference would be to either switch now (which will also screw up necessary carpools which other working families do rely on some - I know it's not about that, but I'd still feel terrible), or stick it out a bit and switch in December, when our 'contract' is up.
I am not even sure she could have that previously offered spot on the other team at this point (that started at the end of june), and that also conflicted with summer school a LOT, but we could just put her in whatever at this point. I don't think there is any chance, right now anyway, that we'd let DD stay at our current gym much past the end of the contract. I can't handle the drama right now between DD and the coach.
My burning question also: is this just the nature of competitive gymnastics?
And the sad part, this is only the most important gripe I have with the gym at the moment. I just don't want to alienate you all with the whole mess of it. Sigh.
Thanks for the vent and any advice you may have.
Now, she is grouped with other kids her age and ability, and doesn't really stand out at all. In addition, she came home the other day and cried in the car. When I asked her what was wrong (it looked like a good practice), she said, "Everything I do (sob) in this (gasp) class is (shudder) WRONG!" Well, they are working on routines and will start competing in August and have gotten to the nit-picky phase. She remembers being in her other classes where after every turn she got praise, and now after every turn she gets a correction. Her coaches are very good and I can see with my eyes they are not being mean at all, she just doesn't understand the change. As fun as the coaches make Level 3, she also doesn't see why her friends in Rec. get to play in the pit during their class, etc. Anyway, luckily her older sister was a gymnast, so she talked to her, and after a nap she was practicing her beam routine in my living room, but I do think it's hard for them to understand the mentality of preparing for competition when they've never seen a competition, you know?
but my I have two thoughts. First, it doesn't seem like it is a good fit. But secondly, and I have given this some thought myself, is that just because you started at a gym for preschool classes doesn't mean it is the best for your child for progressing in gymnastics. I choose DD's current gym because it is 5 minutes from our house, has a great summer program and she ended up loving it. I had no idea she would get asked to move to pre-team, and since then I have heard there are other gyms in the area that might be "better", but I've looked at scores from some of the meets and the girls from our gym seem to do well....Would I have started somewhere else if I had known she might move to pre-team? I'm not sure, I like her gym so far and it has been great for her opening up and getting comfortable. So we'll start here but it is with a thought in my mind that if this is something DD really excels at and wants to pursue, we could be at our gym for the long haul or a move could be in our future at some point in time.
