Parents Prodigy....

[Flip4funmom]

As some of you know my son was recently asked to join T&T team. He is the youngest by a few years which I am fine with. Recently however my son has started to be referred to around the gym as "the prodigy". I have heard his coach mention it a time or 2 as well as the office girls and a few other coaches. (His coach and the gym owner, also a part time coach of his are very excited to have a young child to mold). Should I be concerned that he is getting this reputation, especially so early on we haven't even started summer training yet. Believe me I am thrilled that they have the belief in my son and the want to train him correctly I just don't know if the other gymnasts (or parents) hear about it problems will arise.

 

[kayjaybe]

I think more concerning than what other parents or kids think is that if your son hears it, it will put a LOT of pressure on him.

"I should be able to learn this quickly. I'm a prodigy."
"I shouldn't have fallen on that skill. I'm a prodigy."
"I should always be getting top scores. I'm a prodigy."

And when he has a bad day, or struggles on a skill, or falls, he will be extra hard on himself. Honestly, I'd firmly ask them to stop the reference.

 

[NutterButter]

From someone who comes from a family with numerous academic prodigies across 3 generations (though I am not one of them), I would nip this nickname immediately. My precocious family members who thrive the most (emotionally, interpersonally, and professionally) are the ones who did not grow up constantly hearing about their abilities and/or were not pushed into pursuing certain interests or academic fields.

It's probably not good for other gymnasts/families to know this but the bigger concern I have is for your son's emotional well being. That's a lot of pressure for your son.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Tell them thanks and please stop saying.

 

[Muddlethru]

In my opinion, the constant reference to your son about being a prodigy has very little, if any benefit to anyone. As indicated above, it could put pressure on your son and it could alienate him from his peers. Lastly, do your coaches have a lot of experience? Most experienced coaches refrain from making these statements because they are aware that even though a gymnast may show promise early on, it does not always equate to success down the road.

 

[Sasha]

It's possible your son is an actual prodigy who will break records and redefine the sport. And it's possible he's a talented kid who will run into typical struggles like most other talented kids do at some point.

Either way, a persisting prodigy "label" is the best way to kill his future in the sport and muck with his self esteem and resilience for the rest of his life. A few times hearing that likely won't mess him up, but I'd worry if it 'sticks' and becomes a longer term label.

So yes, I would suggest shutting this down. Kindly, sympathetically, but insistently.

Whenever that label, or more generally "so talented" comes up (in front of him or otherwise), keep repeating loudly that some natural athleticism is a blessing in sport, but you are proud of how hard he works, and that hard work will always be the real ticket to success.

Glad you asked! I imagine other parents of talented young ones might run into this as well.

 

[Flip4funmom]

Thank you so much! His coach who started the name is a Olympic level athlete but rather young. We also commonly hear "This kid is going places". I really do appreciate the confidence and dedication to my son and don't want to ruin that so what is the best way to approach this gently?

 

[Deleted member 18037]

what is the best way to approach this gently?

Thank you I appreciate the confidence you have in my son, but please stopping using that kind of language. I would much rather you focus on his effort. So going forward I expect your support on this to stop the prodigy stuff. Thank you so much for supporting me in this.

 

[Sasha]

Thank you so much! His coach who started the name is a Olympic level athlete but rather young. We also commonly hear "This kid is going places". I really do appreciate the confidence and dedication to my son and don't want to ruin that so what is the best way to approach this gently?

I would say something like,

"I'm so glad you believe in my son, and thank you so much for all the work you put in helping him. He loves gymnastics! I know that ultimately it will be hard work, rather than early talent, that will make the difference in any athlete's success. Can you help me make sure he internalizes this concept by emphasizing his hard work, rather than talent, when you praise him either alone or in front of others? I don't want him to think talent alone will let him coast through, or feel like his talent let him down when things do get more challenging. I worry about the label of 'prodigy'. Thank you!"

ETA: typing at same time as ldw above. Pretty much saying the same thing

 

[Sasha]

Depending on the person you are speaking to, it might also be appropriate to raise the fear that other boys/parents hearing that label could be hurt.

 

[duyetanh]

Well, my first thought (honestly, go ahead and flame me, y'all), was:
Barf.
Because as an educator of young children, that is the last thing they need to hear....way to set them up for failure, truly. I hope your son hasn't heard it. And if someone said it about my child, I would definitely acknowledge them, but also say, time will tell, right now he is 5....and my main goal is for him to have fun while he learns this new sport. He is a mere 5 years old. As I don't want animosity from other parents or gymmates, or a child (yours) who could get hubris very easily and then think he therefore doesn't need to try, or get frustrated to the point of feeling like a failure if a skill becomes challenging, because, being a prodigy, all should come easy. If my child HAD heard it, I would make sure to explain all this to her also. This sport has lots of haters, sadly. And lots of jealous kids and parents. Luckily with boys, it doesn't seem as bad with the 'boys...'.....but parents still are and can be pretty darn intense.

Obviously you have overheard this......what have you said? Not being rude here, but it sounds like you have already had this happen more than once. When you don't nip things in the bud, they continue to grow.

I do get a coach's excitement if they have an athlete that looks promising, and that's great. I also get how excited you are about him being on a team. But I would try and tone everyone down a little. If I recall you have been wanting him on a team for quite some time....(if I am wrong on this one, I apologize)....I think at age four you put him with older boys because you felt he needed more....
Said kindly.....
try to keep it fun. And keep it light.
My two cents.

 

[e'smum]

Tell them thanks and please stop saying.

yes - this!
it's quite possible if he hears this he may end up being so hard on himself for not getting skills as quickly as a "prodigy" which could lead to quitting.

fun is what it needs to be. and at his young age, he could end up hating it b/c it takes him away from his friends and want to quit anyway.

i can't emphasize fun enough. and don't be afraid to have him miss practice because he wants to do something else. he's so young!