Parents So, everyone was right...

[GymBeeMom]

On January 8 I posted a desperate parent post about my DD's fear. She'd been dealing with it for what seemed like way too long, months. That was January 8 (important). Fast forward to January 30, She is doing ALL the things that she was afraid of , adding new skills on all events, and has no memory of the frozen fear she felt on any event just a few short weeks ago. While I was planning her new career as a soccer player or artist, she was taking the time she needed to process the next steps in her gymnastics career. I need to butt out, be patient, and TRUST the process. NOthing I said or did made her get over her fear. NO bribes, no pressure, no rationalizing would have done the trick. NO reverse psychology, no private lessons, no sports psychologist was used. She just decided to stop being scared and do what she was ready to do, when she was ready to do it. Because, as the coach said, she's 8. There is plenty of time, which was all she needed. Let this be a lesson to all of us frustrated, well-meaning, adoring parents. And to everyone who listened to my worried mommy heart, bless you and may this experience help you, too! Onward...

 

[MeetDirector]

GymBeeMom -

Welcome to the dark side. You have broken the code; do you feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders? I know we did when we saw the light you have just seen. This sport our kids have chosen has just as much mental strength building as it does physical strength building. The kids that succeed and last long in the sport build both kinds of strength at the same time. Parents can't build the mental strength for them; we have to be there to help them get back up when they fall. We can't over think the struggles they go through; if they are meant to be in the sport for the long-haul, they will overcome whatever mental hurdle is placed in front of them. Learning this lesson and learning to trust your child's coaches is the hardest thing to do as parents. When you do get to this magic moment, you can sit back and enjoy your child's accomplishments (and keep writing the checks).

Good Luck!

 

[MaryA]

Ah, but why do I seem to need to learn this lesson over and over again???

 

[kayjaybe]

That's so great! One of the moms on our team was stressing because her dd was having increasing fear of back tumbling. Lost the back tuck, then the 2nd handspring, then any handspring (even standing) unless she had a spot.

She said last week that something clicked and her dd said she was "over it." She just decided she was ready and it came right back.

Kids are so resilient. I'll have to remember this as we move through this journey as we have also faced fear issues in our household.

 

[my4buffaloes]

I have learned the same lesson recently. Dd was terrified of most of the new skills she needed for level 7. She has found her courage and within the past few weeks has finally started going for them. She doesn't have them all yet, but she is going for them. Love it!

 

[Natasha]

Ah, but why do I seem to need to learn this lesson over and over again???

I was thinking the same thing! My dd too, was having fear on 2 events, not doing the skills, not competing in meets. Last week she started doing the skills again and is now all set to compete this weekend. I stayed out of it (except when she wanted to talk with me about it) but to myself I was thinking...hmm, maybe we need to do privates or hmm, maybe I need to talk to the coaches or we should try doc Ali..... but, like GymBee all she needed was time. I would like to think that next time around I will just patiently wait and not stress....

 

[GymBeeMom]

Ah, but why do I seem to need to learn this lesson over and over again???

Because you are a human.

 

[Canadian_gym_mom]

Onward...

To the next fear, or block, or injury or SOMETHING. Because it will happen. And you will post about it here, because in the moment we are parents that need that answer to help our kids.

It's a cycle that they go through and we go through, and they have their teammates and coaches and we have Chalkbucket!

 

[iwannacoach]

NO reverse psychology, no private lessons, no sports psychologist was used. She just decided to stop being scared and do what she was ready to do, when she was ready to do it.

Now that's using the best psychology available to solve the "problem".

 

[Deleted member D3987]

Dunno raises a glass of Sheridan's once again tonight in to the wee hours of the morning...

 

[LizzieLac]

That's great news! Congrats to your DD!

 

[GymGirl's Mom]

Wonderful news! She must be so happy!