Anon Talented or not?

[Anonymous (ed7d)]

Hello! My DD is XCEL Gold. Her main coaches have never given me positive feedback. Not that they give feedback anyway, but whenever I have asked she only gets bad: “She has no power. She can’t find the board on vault.” The only one whom has given her positive feedback is the optional coach. He asked her to be on TOPs.
DD thinks she’s terrible. She is often the last to get her skills (comp ready), but generally one of the first to “go for it” and throw it. She scores the lowest on the team. However, when I say lowest, her worst AA in Silver was 36.475 and her best was 38. Based on the scores I have seen this is not the worst, but what do I know. She is one of the youngest (9 years old) on a talented team.
She loves gymnastics and wants to go to college, but she’s tired of being compared to the other better scoring girls on her team. She’s tired of being yelled at and never praised, while the praise goes to the more “talented” girls.

I don’t want to force her to do anything, but I also don’t want her to quit for the wrong reasons. She doesn’t think she has talent.
My question is what is talent? Is it only power that really matters? Can that be developed or is it a lost cause? Maybe we are at the wrong gym?

What do y’all think? Is college a realistic goal? I’m good with whatever but I just want to make sure I have my kid in the best environment.

Thanks so much in advance for your opinions.

 

[Dahlialover]

Talented or not, your daughter’s coaches are making her feel bad about herself and you shouldn’t be paying people to run your child down. <1% of competitive gymnasts go on to college gymnastics and your daughter may have the ability to be one of them but you’ll never know if her coaches ruin her love for the sport and make her quit. Time to find a new gym. Good luck.

 

[Anonymous (efc3)]

No clue if your kiddo is talented or has potential for college gymnastics but that shouldn’t be the focus for a 9 year old. What is obvious is that her coaches sound like a poor fit for her. Does your gym use Xcel in place of optionals? If not, she’s not on a path towards college gymnastics, even if she is talented.

My advice: find a new gym with a healthier culture.

 

[Pineapple_Lump]

Generally if a parent asks for feed back I will be mentioning behavioral traits. Such as yes, she is a great listener or she works hard but is easily distracted sometimes. There is no point me criticizing her power/ vault issues - because those are my job to fix/improve as the coach. I may mention that she lacks a little power on vault and we are working on some drills to help.
As far as I am concerned it is my job to take the kids I get and make them the best gymnast they can be, accentuate their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. I always try and make sure everyone knows they are great at something - confidence is key.
Perhaps the Xcel coaches are less experienced than the option coaches and are fixated on her weaknesses because they lack the ability to fix it. The option coach can probably see other areas where she has talent.
Can she move to JO where she is likely to get stronger coaches? or another gym where coaches will build her up mentally?

 

[Anonymous (ed7d)]

Generally if a parent asks for feed back I will be mentioning behavioral traits. Such as yes, she is a great listener or she works hard but is easily distracted sometimes. There is no point me criticizing her power/ vault issues - because those are my job to fix/improve as the coach. I may mention that she lacks a little power on vault and we are working on some drills to help.
As far as I am concerned it is my job to take the kids I get and make them the best gymnast they can be, accentuate their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. I always try and make sure everyone knows they are great at something - confidence is key.
Perhaps the Xcel coaches are less experienced than the option coaches and are fixated on her weaknesses because they lack the ability to fix it. The option coach can probably see other areas where she has talent.
Can she move to JO where she is likely to get stronger coaches? or another gym where coaches will build her up

Generally if a parent asks for feed back I will be mentioning behavioral traits. Such as yes, she is a great listener or she works hard but is easily distracted sometimes. There is no point me criticizing her power/ vault issues - because those are my job to fix/improve as the coach. I may mention that she lacks a little power on vault and we are working on some drills to help.
As far as I am concerned it is my job to take the kids I get and make them the best gymnast they can be, accentuate their strengths and minimize their weaknesses. I always try and make sure everyone knows they are great at something - confidence is key.
Perhaps the Xcel coaches are less experienced than the option coaches and are fixated on her weaknesses because they lack the ability to fix it. The option coach can probably see other areas where she has talent.
Can she move to JO where she is likely to get stronger coaches? or another gym where coaches will build her up mentally?

Thank you for your response. She can’t switch to JO now but she can next summer. She is trying to keep her eyes fixed on optionals next year when she can try out.
There are no other gyms around us sadly. We would have to drive WAYYYYY to far. These are my DD goals, not mine. I will do whatever I CAN do to support her goals, but not at the expense of family, so It would not be possible to switch gyms.

 

[Anonymous (5f66)]

Will she have different coaches in the JO program? If so, then maybe you can hang on until them. Doing the TOPs training program with a coach who believes in her might really help her confidence and would definitely help her gymnastics skills. Unfortunately, If she has to stay with these negative coaches for more than this season, I’d seriously consider finding a new sport. No hobby is worth sacrificing your child’s well-being.

 

[Anonymous (f7b7)]

Hello! My DD is XCEL Gold. Her main coaches have never given me positive feedback. Not that they give feedback anyway, but whenever I have asked she only gets bad: “She has no power. She can’t find the board on vault.” The only one whom has given her positive feedback is the optional coach. He asked her to be on TOPs.
DD thinks she’s terrible. She is often the last to get her skills (comp ready), but generally one of the first to “go for it” and throw it. She scores the lowest on the team. However, when I say lowest, her worst AA in Silver was 36.475 and her best was 38. Based on the scores I have seen this is not the worst, but what do I know. She is one of the youngest (9 years old) on a talented team.
She loves gymnastics and wants to go to college, but she’s tired of being compared to the other better scoring girls on her team. She’s tired of being yelled at and never praised, while the praise goes to the more “talented” girls.

I don’t want to force her to do anything, but I also don’t want her to quit for the wrong reasons. She doesn’t think she has talent.
My question is what is talent? Is it only power that really matters? Can that be developed or is it a lost cause? Maybe we are at the wrong gym?

What do y’all think? Is college a realistic goal? I’m good with whatever but I just want to make sure I have my kid in the best environment.

Thanks so much in advance for your opinions.

Talent is only part of what gymnastics truly is. It sounds like she is a hard worker and it's rare to find such a young gymnast unafraid to throw skills. It's very impressive to be able to work through fear like that! I've seen naturally untalented gymnasts work their butts off and prove me wrong with their incredible work ethic. She can develop great basics and skills with proper coaching and technique, and it sounds like she has great potential based on her scoring.

Any coach that makes a child feel that they are terrible is a horrible coach. Point, blank, period. Especially at such a young age. No child should ever feel that they are terrible or not enough. Sounds like they are creating a toxic and negative environment for anyone who cannot rise up to their own incredibly high and unrealistic standards. So incredibly disappointing to hear those adults acting this way and treating a 9 year old child this way.

From what I can gather from your post, it sounds like the coaches are the issue, not your child. It is their job to help your child succeed and if she has trouble with power or finding the board, it's my personal philosophy that is the coaches responsibility to coach and do their literal job. Anything that I personally see with my gymnasts, I take responsibility for. If they do not understand, it is because I have not taught them well enough or I have not helped them understand enough. Any good coach would and should be willing to work with a child and create a positive environment in which they can learn and grow. That is what your child deserves and I believe your child can thrive under empathetic, non-toxic, and non-comparative coaching.

In regards to college gymnastics, I am unable to comment as I have no experience with such a topic. But, I always say never say never.

 

[LCsMom]

DD thinks she’s terrible. She is often the last to get her skills (comp ready), but generally one of the first to “go for it” and throw it. She scores the lowest on the team. However, when I say lowest, her worst AA in Silver was 36.475 and her best was 38. Based on the scores I have seen this is not the worst, but what do I know. She is one of the youngest (9 years old) on a talented team.
She loves gymnastics and wants to go to college, but she’s tired of being compared to the other better scoring girls on her team. She’s tired of being yelled at and never praised, while the praise goes to the more “talented” girls.

I don’t want to force her to do anything, but I also don’t want her to quit for the wrong reasons. She doesn’t think she has talent.
My question is what is talent? Is it only power that really matters? Can that be developed or is it a lost cause? Maybe we are at the wrong gym?

For what it's worth, anyone doing competitive gymnastics is "talented". I mean, it's not something I can do. My talents lie elsewhere.

Positive feedback is so important. So is criticism, as long as it is constructive. It doesn't sound like she is getting either.