Women The Grass is (Not) Always Greener

[tomtnt]

Anyone ever switch gym only to realize that things weren't better at the new gym and had to go back to old gym?

things like:

-thought your gymmie would get better training and skills since that other gym seems to win all the meets.
-those coaches seem so much nicer/more caring/spot more than our coaches
-those parents all seem to get along

all the posts on the forums about gym switching seem to always work out great. any negative stories?

 

[mariposa]

I've seen people go back to old gym after not being happy at new gym. Though not all gyms will take a gymnast back. And I've seen kids quit after gym changes because they probably were more ready to quit than switch. A few of my daughter's old teammates are now on gym #4 since leaving. You definitely see both sides with gym changes, they don't always have happy endings.

 

[SurpriseGymMom]

We have never changed gyms but my take on it is this: when I run into people who HAVE switched, are they going to tell me that they made a mistake and that the new gym stinks..? Nope, theyre going to say everything is awesome and so much better than at the old gym (who wouldn't take them back at this point anyways after talking all sorts of bologna) because that's human nature! Now, I have seen their kids at States after a season/year of training at the new gym and I can tell you that long term, the kid would have most definitely been better off at old gym. But, new gym let them compete a level they weren't ready for at old gym so all is wonderful even if they are missing crucial training, right..?

So, if you feel the need to switch gyms, I would try to make it as amicable as possible. There's always a chance that you may have to eat crow and come back because you realize the training was better after all....

 

[MILgymFAM]

We had a gym switch that ended up being a disaster, but my DD wouldn't change the past if she could.

The gym that ended up being bad for her had telltale signs from the beginning and we didn't wear rose colored glasses, so most of the problems weren't surprises- just things she decided to grin and bear for what she wanted. What we didn't anticipate was that it would be mom gossip in the balcony that would give me the info I needed to ultimately switch her to her current gym, which she loves everything about. It was a string of negatives that ended in a positive, and I'm not sure we'd have found the current gym from any other point in the journey from where we did.

All that said, we did switch from a gym with a coach who cared, positive teammates, and a close knit group to a gym that was cold, callous, and distant. Yet they gave her the chance she wanted. Sometimes the green grass is as fake as AstroTurf- but it still serves it purpose.

 

[MILgymFAM]

when I run into people who HAVE switched, are they going to tell me that they made a mistake and that the new gym stinks..? .

I have a little too much honesty sometimes and I have always been plain when it came to changes my DD made. Some gyms do have better coaches, some better hours, some a better environment, some with not much to recommended them except they accepted my DD on the team. It makes some people uncomfortable, but I never say anything to be rude and only answer questions directly asked.

 

[agtc0424]

Many girls from my gym switched to a gym right down the street recently, due to a new head coach. We all went from a YMCA to a USAG gym, so everyone thought that we would learn so much more and gain new skills, more muscle, better form, etc. I wouldn't say I regret the move, but many other girls don't like the new atmosphere. It's way more $$ wise, shorter hours, harder work. My teammates and I definitely are benefiting, but we are also "suffering" too. I think that when you switch gyms there will be positives, and there will be negatives.

 

[Gymmommy71]

I've known several gymnasts who have left and come back to gyms over the years - sometimes it was an issue w/ the new gym not being a good fit, and sometimes it's because the original issues w/ the first gym (problem coach, overbearing booster board, CGPs) are no longer there.

IMO every gym has its pluses and minuses, and usually it's just a matter of the pluses exceeding the minuses for that particular gymnast.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

Anyone ever switch gym only to realize that things weren't better at the new gym and had to go back to old gym?

things like:

-thought your gymmie would get better training and skills since that other gym seems to win all the meets.
-those coaches seem so much nicer/more caring/spot more than our coaches
-those parents all seem to get along

all the posts on the forums about gym switching seem to always work out great. any negative stories?

Question, other then wins how would you know the other things?

 

[lovemygymnast]

With our gym switch, the grass has been tremendously greener!! But I also feel there are just different personalities of gyms. I mean, my kid is a serious child, I know she's young but her personality at gym has always been serious. Old gym turned into all fun and games and goofing off. That was not her at all. Even the optional laid around between their turns texting on their phones. It ended up being a safety issue that the owner refused to acknowledge or fix that sent us to new gym. Now, that said, many other girls came with her to new gym. Most of those girls have been happy, but several have quit gym altogether. I really think it was like previous poster said, they really weren't in need of gym change but quitting.

As far as new gym is concerned, it's been a great change for my kid. And it's funny because there have been several kids whose parents swapped them to a new gym only to return to this gym. So they do allow people to come back even when it's on really bad terms. To me, that's a testament to the owners & coaches here. I'm sure it's not perfection to everyone at new gym but it's been a great fit for my little gymmie so far.

 

[tomtnt]

Question, other then wins how would you know the other things?

DD with friends on other teams.. parents friends with parents on other team.

Parents who sit together all wearing the same team shirts at meet. Seeing parents of different levels come support the other kids even when their kids aren't competing

 

[CLgym]

We recently made a gym switch in order to compete JO rather than Xcel. We would have loved to stay at the old gym if DD was selected for JO there -- Old gym is a top/high scoring gym, with super JO coaches, beautiful facilities and a super convenient location. DD had lovely Xcel teammates, and I really liked the other parents. On the negative side, I had serious issues with the gym's philosophy re: exclusivity and selection for JO, and felt they mishandled that process with respect to my then-6 year old DD (who received a JO offer that was rescinded 3 weeks later with little explanation except that DD was maybe too old or too tall or both). Also, Xcel is clearly the "step-child" of the gym with significantly fewer hours and less experienced coaches. In any event, I was very careful to handle the switch in a positive and respectful manner, so the door (Xcel door) remained open.

We are a couple of months into the switch, and the new gym is not perfect. Much longer commute, less supportive teammates, somewhat harsher coaching style, and lower scores (albeit with a much larger and more inclusive JO program). However, we knew most of this going into the switch. And, if you ask my DD, she is still glad for the change. She can compete JO, is making progress, and seems to be getting better training/coaching/hours than if she had stayed in Xcel at old gym. So for now, the pros outweigh the cons.

Not sure this qualifies as a "negative story" -- I guess we will find out more once competition seasons starts -- but I certainly agree with those who say that gym changes are almost always filled with pros and cons.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

DD with friends on other teams.. parents friends with parents on other team.

Parents who sit together all wearing the same team shirts at meet. Seeing parents of different levels come support the other kids even when their kids aren't competing

I guess it then depends on how much you trust what you hear. I happen to be incredibly honest, not everyone is like that.

We had a situation about 18 months ago. One of the parents came over to our new gym after speaking with me about the new gym. Don't you know the next season this parent was speaking to yet another parent at our old gym. She was asking the gym parents to what to say. Because this parent also was having concerns about old gym. All the parents chimed in, oh don't tell her this gym is good, our kids don't need any more competition here. Tell her bad stuff. Of course when I saw the Mom, I gave her the same information I gave the first one.

So how much do you trust the folks you are getting your information from.

Best thing to do is try to observe practices. Pay close attention to the parents and what goes on before and after practice as well. Be a fly on the wall.

The reality is you really wont know until you get there. And gym parents are a tough crowd. They circle the wagons.

 

[lovemygymnast]

I guess it then depends on how much you trust what you hear. I happen to be incredibly honest, not everyone is like that.

We had a situation about 18 months ago. One of the parents came over to our new gym after speaking with me about the new gym. Don't you know the next season this parent was speaking to yet another parent at our old gym. She was asking the gym parents to what to say. Because this parent also was having concerns about old gym. All the parents chimed in, oh don't tell her this gym is good, our kids don't need any more competition here. Tell her bad stuff. Of course when I saw the Mom, I gave her the same information I gave the first one.

So how much do you trust the folks you are getting your information from.

Best thing to do is try to observe practices. Pay close attention to the parents and what goes on before and after practice as well. Be a fly on the wall.

The reality is you really wont know until you get there. And gym parents are a tough crowd. They circle the wagons.

Completely agree with this!! Honestly, if we were still at old gym and new parents asked me questions, I would have only said good things because I wouldn't want it to get back that I'd have said anything bad!! And new gym, the parents are nice but I wouldn't expect anyone to bad mouth it. I communicated with the owner prior to moving over, which were all pleasant email exchanges. My dd tried a practice and fell in love! She came out saying that's exactly where she wanted to be. So, your kid can also tell you a lot. And I have to tell you, I had heard nothing but negative stuff about new gym from parents who had been there prior and from old gym director. Not one thing I had heard has been true. So you really have to go over, watch practice then decide about a trial class, you have to do your homework. But asking parents, just not sure that works, IMO.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

All the parents chimed in, oh don't tell her this gym is good, our kids don't need any more competition here. Tell her bad stuff.

That's awful. Wow.

 

[Deleted member 18037]

That's awful. Wow.

I was stunned. Made me want to call the Mom and talk us up. And I did when I saw her a few months after. She is still at her old gym but at least she got the real deal.

 

[Mrs. Puma]

I was stunned. Made me want to call the Mom and talk us up. And I did when I saw her a few months after. She is still at her old gym but at least she got the real deal.

I fully agree with that decision. I can't believe that people would actually feel that way and worse, act on it. Again with the Wow...

 

[munchkin3]

I know of some cases where parents left a gym without thinking it through. Either they get mad at something, or after the state meet they think it's sensible to immediately move to the winning team......
At my two gyms, I have seen people leave and come back....it's not common, but it does happen.....
For us, the grass was greener......not perfect, but more what we were looking for......it was also a convenience factor for my family. The new program was a bit faster moving with bigger aspirations and coaching power. We love old gym....always will.....still friends with everybody.....and if I ever run into someone looking for an awesome compulsory program that feels like family, I recommend it highly......
We also thought about it for 6 months and were prepared for the negatives.....but in the end, our estimates were correct....more positives than negatives and DD is thriving, being pushed and moving at a great pace. Parents are great, kids are great.....I will save the negatives....no need to focus on them.

 

[Deleted member 14190]

I have taken a few back and some I would not (burned the bridge). We have also gotten a few from other gyms that have done extremely well, and a few that it was too much and they ended up quitting. So who knows!!

 

[munchkin3]

You mean taking the parents back...lol

 

[KipNurse]

Anyone ever switch gym only to realize that things weren't better at the new gym and had to go back to old gym?

things like:

-thought your gymmie would get better training and skills since that other gym seems to win all the meets.
-those coaches seem so much nicer/more caring/spot more than our coaches
-those parents all seem to get along

all the posts on the forums about gym switching seem to always work out great. any negative stories?

We changed gyms a little while back...
Our DD did get better quality coaching in our situation...better spotting..MUCH better conditioning...much better/quality equipment.
I'm a realist however. Coaches aren't always nice...coaches probably don't get paid enough do deal with entitled parents and kids. Parents who have lost perspective that there is a world outside of theirs. So, I'm sure the coaches aren't always on their best behavior. No matter what gym you end up in.
Parents...they are CRAZY no matter where you go. I've only had the gymnastics experience, but I bet in any sport parents live vicariously through their athlete, bringing out the crazy. But... parents are all nuts. Jealousy makes grown adults act insane. No matter where you are. That much I've learned. I think come gymnastics parents have a little too much time on their hands and need a hobby/life outside of their kid's sport. Sorry...tangent. Can you tell that's a raw spot?
Anyhoo...I think switching gyms with a clear head/focus helps. Except its never ever easy. But leaving for what you have defined as the "right" reasons and not just because of a grass is greener perspective helps keep perspective.
Just my 2 (or 3) cents.