Parents What do you say?

[guest301]

What do you normally say to your kids? I read a sticky post here that it's not about the skill it's about a child. So something like "you are such a good worker!". What other thinkgs your child hears a lot from you? What words of cheer and encuragement do you say?

 

[sglemon]

In context of what? everyday, after practice, after a meet? I usually leave a note in her gym bag she takes with her to a meet, that tells her no matter what happens, I am proud of her and love her very much. If she is doubting herself on a apparatus, I tell her I know she can do it, she knows she can do it and to keep telling herself that. But overall through practice and meets she sets goals, for example "I will hold my handstand on beam for 2 seconds". When she makes her goal, we do talk about it and I congratulate her. If not, she generally has a good understanding why, like she didn't kick up hard enough, etc.. She doesn't dwell on it, but she does like to discuss it, with either me or her coaches. I guess it helps her to move on, make the correction for the future. We generally don't concentrate on specfic skill, but her goal she may have for a skill. But in the end she knows how proud I am of all of her hard work. We all are and we tell her often.

 

[mommyof1]

I've always heard the opposite--praise the actions and not the child's personality. So I
always try to praise my daughter for specific actions that exemplify character
traits we are trying to reinforce. I will say things like "I noticed how
hard you worked on (XYZ very specific thing she was working on)" or
"I saw how well you were listening when your coach was talking to you
about (whatever it was)" or "I noticed that you were a good friend to
so-and-so when you (whatever nice thing she did)." Then I ask her,
"How did you feel about that?" The goal is to get her to say
"brave," "proud," etc. and connect that good feeling to her
behavior.

 

[LoriLou]

I like the note in the bag idea. I'm going to do that for DD's meet next weekend. Thanks for the idea!

 

[Deleted member D3987]

nothing to say, except the note in the bag. for all the greatness (part tongue in cheek) my wife and i were at parenting, i can tell you that notes in the bag for everything are "forever". my kids who are all grown in to adulthood still speak of them to this day. and in front of their grown adult friends. they most definitely left an impression.

 

[skschlag]

I love the note in the bag idea!!! I will have to do that this year

As for what I say...very little. D usually gets in the car, and I ask how was workout. What events did you do? Did you have fun? If he wants to say more he does, but that is it. If he is talking about something, I might comment...that sounds fun! etc. But that is about it. Pretty quickly talk usually turns to what is for dinner!!!

 

[guest301]

Well my girl is 4. I am trying to think of encouraging and cheering words

 

[skschlag]

I think at 4, her excitement and joy would be bubbling out. Just a simple, waht did you do today, with appropriate wows, oohs, and aahs would be great. "that sounds like fun!" is always a good one too. YOu want to keep her grounded in teh fun she is having out there.

Have fun!